i've always loved new years eve...but not for the extravagant parties. hell, i don't think i've gone out on new years eve in at least 6 years or more due to my children entering this world. truth be told, i'll actually be lucky to make it to midnight...maybe mixing in a glass of bubbly with my boxed wine. (wiiiiild!) however, as each year that passes it is like the ending of a story. each passing month of that year is like a chapter in that book. there are some chapters i'd like to reread each delicious detail, some i'd like to skim through, and some i would skip all together. as i get older, i have realized that writing this story each year is up to me...and unfortunately each year flies by faster than the next. i know damn well i'm gonna wake up and be 80 and wonder what the hell happened. my dad always warned me about the quickness of this life and i thought he was lying. now that i have my own children, i know this to be true. moreover, you create your own story with each decision that you make. how you act and react to things that are beyond your control are crucial to your own happiness, i've learned this throughout the years. this past year has been filled with great memories and experiences, but the beginning of a new year is an opportunity to start fresh, to start the story all over again so to speak.
i learn a lot about life from the children that i teach and also the two little people that inhibit my house. children know how to to truly live and they are unaffected by the burdens of adulthood. they wear their feelings (good or bad) on their sleeve. they tell people how they really feel and mean it. they soak up each experience and grow from it. as adults, we sometimes miss the lesson in an experience and move along too quickly. sometimes we are too worried about the past or future that we forget to live in the present. whether it be learning how to blow a bubble with gum or buttoning their pants independently for the first time...kids embrace that stuff and own it. i often hear at my house..."i did it all by myself!" ringing out from the other room. kids in my classroom get excited when they write a letter the correct way for the first time. they celebrate each (seeming minuscule) milestone and adults should do that more often. we need to celebrate the little things more and worry less. i have met some amazing people this past year and i am always intrigued by their stories. in this super short life, it's important to really get to know the people that are helping you write the chapters of your own book. i love when people are raw and real and aren't afraid to show you who they really are.
so as another year passes, there are so many lessons that i've learned. my children continue to teach me what life is all about and i hope i am teaching them a thing or two. parenting is one hell of a ride and half the time i feel like i don't know what the hell i am doing. however, my kids seem to be turning out all right...and most importantly, they are happy. all i really want for them in this life is for them to be happy. actually, that's what i want for most of the people in my life...for them to just be happy. with that in mind, get rid of the bullshit that bogs you down, do what makes you happy at the end of the day, and start writing the chapters of your own story with fervor. whether this past year was the best year of your life, or the worst year of your life...you are in control of what you write for yourself this upcoming year. (that, my friends, is a powerful thing!) i am forever thankful for the people who have come in and out of my life this past year and have taught me lessons...especially the little people. i am also thankful for simple things like coffee, wine, and running that have helped to keep me balanced. most importantly, i am thankful that i have made it through another year and lived to tell the tale. when you look back on your book when you are 80 years old...may your stories be part of a best seller. moreover, make this next year your best year yet.
Thursday, December 31, 2015
Saturday, December 19, 2015
flu
oh hey guys. how's everybody doin? just wanted to tell you that christmas came early in my house. one of my wishes for the holiday is that i would have an entire day over winter break to simply spend in bed (i think this is a valid request from most mothers around the world, right?). it hasn't happened since prekids and i thought how glorious it would be to watch movies, read a book, and nap. so coincidentally i'm on day two of doing this bed ridden thing, because this christmas miracle came to me in the form of the...FLU (careful what you wish for, huh?). that's right folks. exactly one week before christmas, i came down with the flu (like the legit one.) thursday when i woke up, i had a little bit of a cough and my chest felt heavy, but i didn't think much about it. i haven't been on antibiotics in the past 10 years, rarely get sick, and have never (ever) taken a sick day off in that time for myself (for my children, yes...lots of times). so off i skipped to work, to the gym (4 miles on the treadmill i might add), and then to fen's for girls night. to my dismay, at approximately 3:32am friday morning, i was abruptly awoken by severe body aches and pains. it felt like muhammad ali himself snuck into my bedroom and boxed the shit out of my body while i was sleeping. then came the chills. i was shaking all over the place and could not get warm no matter what i did. i tossed and turned and at at 5:30am when the alarm went off, i truly still believed i could go to work.
i wandered into the bathroom, slightly bewildered, and started straightening my hair. as i stood there i got a little lookie loo at myself in the mirror and thought, "holy hell...i look like i'm getting ready for a casting call for the walking dead." i was physically shaking when butch got out of the shower and he said, "what the hell is wrong with you!?" i said, "i'm so cold!" he said, "well you are wearing a tank top and underwear right now so that might be part of the problem!" i yelped back that i always wear this garb in the morning and don't typically look like i have parkinson's disease while i am doing my hair! (normal morning convos). so halfway through the straightening process i aborted mission...cause i thought i was going to pass out. i emailed my principal, put in for a sub, and went back to bed. in the meantime, my husband fed the kids breakfast and hopped out the door. therefore, i had to muster up some motherhood superpowers in order to get them dressed and to school. i did (somehow). as i crawled back under the covers, i laid there thinking about how i should be so excited about staying in bed all day...and really i just wanted to be at work! i had so many fun things planned for friday lessons and was disappointed i didn't get to do them. as the day went on, i tried to get out of bed several times, but it didn't go well (stumbling and shit). finally, after searching the goog for flu symptoms and seeing that i had a multitude of them, i decided to head to the minute clinic.
driving was a little dicey and of course i showed up right as "patricia" (the PA) was heading out to lunch. i sat there waiting, sweating profusely....and plotting patricia's death. i don't have a primary care physician, mainly cause in the 10 years i've lived here i have never gotten legit sick. (i know, i still need one.) i knew, though, that there was probably a flu swab, like a strep swab, so she would be able to tell me if i had it or not. i described my symptoms and she said, "do you have a shirt on under your sweatshirt?" (come again?) i said yes. then she said, "can you remove your sweatshirt, cause it will make the exam easier?" i said sure...but warned patricia that i was not wearing a bra. she played it off, but i think boobs akimbo was more than she was bargaining for in that visit. anyways, i removed my hoodie, hit myself nearly in the eye with my breast, and she began to take my blood pressure. i had popped a bunch of advil before i went, just so i didn't get the shakes from the fever, but when she took my temp it was still 102. (whew). she asked what i did for a living, if i had kids, and all the other pleasantry questions one can ask while staring at your braless wonder of a body. she took the swab from my nasal cavity (very uncomfortable, i might add) and then set the timer. she stated that she had never had someone come into the clinic with the flu while she worked there, so she really didn't think i had it. (ok then). the timer beeped and she swung around...and gasped. then immediately put on a mask. (wtf!? are medical professionals supposed to gasp?) so i said, "well i guess i have it." she shook her head yes.
afterwards, patricia read me the riot act about being in bed for 7-10 days, taking off work next week...and canceling any and all christmas plans (easy, PATTY!) i didn't know whether to laugh or cry in that moment, but when she passed me a mask to put on...i knew she was for serious. so i called my husband to let him know my predicament and he thought i was making it up (i assure you i am not). i asked him kindly to pick up some gatorade, soup, and my prescription. he obliged...and then flew in the door with it freaking out about how it all cost FORTY-SEVEN dollars and he thought it was ridiculous! (no coupons for CVS that day) then, he picked up the kids and shoved them in the door and went to the gym (men.) meanwhile, i'm in bed part flu victim part mental patient cause i can't move and he's gone. i think the girls knew the severity of my illness due to my mask covered mouth. i had a courageous conversation with butch about how i can't be expected to take care of a hamster, let alone two children at this point. he came home and realized i was not faking when he took one look at me (seriously, walking dead actress in the making). as i laid here in bed the past two days, i question my mental well being until this influenza is gone. one thing though, i'm glad it's me and not my kids...if they get it i will be devastated. although i love all things holiday, the flu doesn't usually factor into that equation. wishing you all a happy, HEALTHY, holiday season. hopefully muhammad ali doesn't sneak in your bedroom during the next week in the middle of the night and give you the one/two punch, nor do you have to wear a mask. may your days be merry and bright...and i mean that in the least sarcastic way possible.
i wandered into the bathroom, slightly bewildered, and started straightening my hair. as i stood there i got a little lookie loo at myself in the mirror and thought, "holy hell...i look like i'm getting ready for a casting call for the walking dead." i was physically shaking when butch got out of the shower and he said, "what the hell is wrong with you!?" i said, "i'm so cold!" he said, "well you are wearing a tank top and underwear right now so that might be part of the problem!" i yelped back that i always wear this garb in the morning and don't typically look like i have parkinson's disease while i am doing my hair! (normal morning convos). so halfway through the straightening process i aborted mission...cause i thought i was going to pass out. i emailed my principal, put in for a sub, and went back to bed. in the meantime, my husband fed the kids breakfast and hopped out the door. therefore, i had to muster up some motherhood superpowers in order to get them dressed and to school. i did (somehow). as i crawled back under the covers, i laid there thinking about how i should be so excited about staying in bed all day...and really i just wanted to be at work! i had so many fun things planned for friday lessons and was disappointed i didn't get to do them. as the day went on, i tried to get out of bed several times, but it didn't go well (stumbling and shit). finally, after searching the goog for flu symptoms and seeing that i had a multitude of them, i decided to head to the minute clinic.
driving was a little dicey and of course i showed up right as "patricia" (the PA) was heading out to lunch. i sat there waiting, sweating profusely....and plotting patricia's death. i don't have a primary care physician, mainly cause in the 10 years i've lived here i have never gotten legit sick. (i know, i still need one.) i knew, though, that there was probably a flu swab, like a strep swab, so she would be able to tell me if i had it or not. i described my symptoms and she said, "do you have a shirt on under your sweatshirt?" (come again?) i said yes. then she said, "can you remove your sweatshirt, cause it will make the exam easier?" i said sure...but warned patricia that i was not wearing a bra. she played it off, but i think boobs akimbo was more than she was bargaining for in that visit. anyways, i removed my hoodie, hit myself nearly in the eye with my breast, and she began to take my blood pressure. i had popped a bunch of advil before i went, just so i didn't get the shakes from the fever, but when she took my temp it was still 102. (whew). she asked what i did for a living, if i had kids, and all the other pleasantry questions one can ask while staring at your braless wonder of a body. she took the swab from my nasal cavity (very uncomfortable, i might add) and then set the timer. she stated that she had never had someone come into the clinic with the flu while she worked there, so she really didn't think i had it. (ok then). the timer beeped and she swung around...and gasped. then immediately put on a mask. (wtf!? are medical professionals supposed to gasp?) so i said, "well i guess i have it." she shook her head yes.
afterwards, patricia read me the riot act about being in bed for 7-10 days, taking off work next week...and canceling any and all christmas plans (easy, PATTY!) i didn't know whether to laugh or cry in that moment, but when she passed me a mask to put on...i knew she was for serious. so i called my husband to let him know my predicament and he thought i was making it up (i assure you i am not). i asked him kindly to pick up some gatorade, soup, and my prescription. he obliged...and then flew in the door with it freaking out about how it all cost FORTY-SEVEN dollars and he thought it was ridiculous! (no coupons for CVS that day) then, he picked up the kids and shoved them in the door and went to the gym (men.) meanwhile, i'm in bed part flu victim part mental patient cause i can't move and he's gone. i think the girls knew the severity of my illness due to my mask covered mouth. i had a courageous conversation with butch about how i can't be expected to take care of a hamster, let alone two children at this point. he came home and realized i was not faking when he took one look at me (seriously, walking dead actress in the making). as i laid here in bed the past two days, i question my mental well being until this influenza is gone. one thing though, i'm glad it's me and not my kids...if they get it i will be devastated. although i love all things holiday, the flu doesn't usually factor into that equation. wishing you all a happy, HEALTHY, holiday season. hopefully muhammad ali doesn't sneak in your bedroom during the next week in the middle of the night and give you the one/two punch, nor do you have to wear a mask. may your days be merry and bright...and i mean that in the least sarcastic way possible.
Thursday, December 10, 2015
december
so here we are in the middle of december and i really don't know where the past year has gone. i was recently at a birthday party for a friend's kid and she said, "so why haven't you been writing lately!?" i remarked that since graduate school has ended i really don't feel like writing anything. ever again. (ever.) it's not that it sucked the fun out of writing, it is just nice not being behind the laptop talking about literacy and it's many facets. in the meantime, there have been several things that have happened that have been quite funny in my world that i would like to share with you. first of all, yesterday morning, for example, i rolled over before the sun shone her shiny face and did what most people do when they wake up...i grabbed my phone off of the nightstand to take a little looksee before i had to face the day. lo and behold, i had a snapchat notification (yes, we use this app like 14 year old girls) from my best friend fen. i realized that she must've sent it at like 4:44am, which was mad friggen early to be snapping pictures of, well, anything. so i rubbed my eyeballs and then hit the red square cautiously. (if you are unfamiliar with snapchat, search the google.) what i saw was nothing short of amazing. one question: if a 9 foot christmas tree (that originally took 3 days to decorate) falls in a living room...will your fiance be the first one to hear it? the answer to that question is yes...he shot out of bed like a bullet, wide-eyed, and woke her the hell up.
i'm not surprised by stuff that happens to her anymore, cause there is a long laundry list of lemony snicket's series of unfortunate events in her life. for example, around halloween she called me (screaming) from her car and said that she thought someone had broken into her house...because there was loud music playing and the lights were left on. she went on to say she wasn't sure if the intruder was still in there. (whaaat?!) i asked her if the door was unlocked and she said no, "but brad paisley was singing sweet nothings loudly" and she wasn't sure why. she was sure someone was hiding in a closet waiting to off her with a carving knife and bury her in the backyard. i told her to go the hell inside because her roommate probably just left the tv on prior to leaving for work (she did.). she made me stay on the phone with her the whole time...like a lifetime movie gone wrong. (what are best friends for?) turns out no one was in there except for the monsters under her bed and the country singer slash stabber. (nice.) so after i saw the snapchat of the tree, i had to get my shit together. i then sauntered (more like old lady walked) into the bathroom and my husband was there. we don't say too much to each other in the morning and i'm okay with that. i have a hard time making words, let alone sentences, at that hour.
however, when i began to brush my teeth, i was bent over the sink and proceeded to spew toothpaste out of my mouth and all over the mirror...in a fit of laughter. i don't know what it was about that goddamn christmas tree, but when i got to thinking about it (timberrrrr!)...i couldn't stop laughing. he ran into the bathroom and yelled, 'WHAT!?' i grabbed my phone, pulled up the screenshot and said, "one guess who this happened to." without missing a beat...he said fen. there are so many things i love about the holidays, but trees that fall in a living room of a house in the middle of the night with no pets or children involved is one of my favorites. another favorite is the introduction of both my household elf on the shelf and my classroom elf. there are so many people that are so cynical about the damn thing, but let me try to explain it to you. take your average child under the age of ten and think about how excited they are about...anything. kids get excited about EVERYTHING. so take that and then add the month of december...where kids have to wrap their brains around the fact that a jolly fat guy in a red suit is going to bring them presents for (seemingly) no reason at all except for them "being good." you know what happens? they lose their little minds.
most children, in the month of december, lose their minds. so enter the elf. yes, the book that accompanies him states that he travels back to santa to report what he saw during the day and stuff...but do you know what the elf actually does? he brings the spirit of christmas right into your home or (also) in my case, classroom. it really is magical. and fun. and when people that get all wound up in a negative way about that elf...it makes me want to throat punch them. (happy holidays!) most of these naysayers are not around little people for the most part and don't quite "get it." i dare these scrooges to come into my school for a minute each morning when my kindergartners fire into the classroom like they have been shot out of a cannon. they are so (SO!) excited to see where the elf has "landed" from the night before...and their conversations about him are even better. my own kids hunt around in the morning looking for our home elf "snowflake" and carrie usually claps and squeals when she sees her...ella's eyes light up and i usually need a defibrillator to resuscitate my heart. (so there.) i have gotten away from posing him/her in 328 different positions, cause i've realize that just the fact that it has "magically" moved from one place to another is enough in the eyes of a child.
warren has also been wayyyy wound up about the holidays this year...and has decided to griswold the front of the house again. instead of using staples like clark, he used tacks this time. i didn't know what i was going on...until i went outside and it looked like jolly st. nick took puke on the cedar shakes. (colored lights a plenty.) he's also back in the coupon game and told me that he wants to convert carries bedroom into his "couponing room." i said, "let's not and say we did." (ps. this is a classic quote that my dad always said growing up) he replied with, "you're not letting my coupon skills flourish. they are being bottled up!" (if you don't believe me i'll show you the text.) he gets real passionate about shit like colored lights and coupons and sometimes i don't have the energy to be his cheerleader in that regard. however, when my family was here, they were alllllll about egging him on about both the colored lights (my dad suggested adding candy canes) and the coupons (my mom got wayyyy excited about the free toothpaste) so later on yesterday morning, when i was still laughing about the tree falling down, i got another snapchat from fen...sending me into a another fit of laughter. i was sitting at my desk at lunchtime and thought, will this nonsense ever end with her? she's balls deep in wedding planning and i'm along for the ride...i can't imagine what fun stuff is around the bend. meanwhile, if you can't get into the holiday spirit...you are more than welcome to come to my house, my classroom, or even fen's to see the previously fallen tree. go hard or go home is my motto this time of year...otherwise, you are just missing out. man i love the holidays.
i'm not surprised by stuff that happens to her anymore, cause there is a long laundry list of lemony snicket's series of unfortunate events in her life. for example, around halloween she called me (screaming) from her car and said that she thought someone had broken into her house...because there was loud music playing and the lights were left on. she went on to say she wasn't sure if the intruder was still in there. (whaaat?!) i asked her if the door was unlocked and she said no, "but brad paisley was singing sweet nothings loudly" and she wasn't sure why. she was sure someone was hiding in a closet waiting to off her with a carving knife and bury her in the backyard. i told her to go the hell inside because her roommate probably just left the tv on prior to leaving for work (she did.). she made me stay on the phone with her the whole time...like a lifetime movie gone wrong. (what are best friends for?) turns out no one was in there except for the monsters under her bed and the country singer slash stabber. (nice.) so after i saw the snapchat of the tree, i had to get my shit together. i then sauntered (more like old lady walked) into the bathroom and my husband was there. we don't say too much to each other in the morning and i'm okay with that. i have a hard time making words, let alone sentences, at that hour.
however, when i began to brush my teeth, i was bent over the sink and proceeded to spew toothpaste out of my mouth and all over the mirror...in a fit of laughter. i don't know what it was about that goddamn christmas tree, but when i got to thinking about it (timberrrrr!)...i couldn't stop laughing. he ran into the bathroom and yelled, 'WHAT!?' i grabbed my phone, pulled up the screenshot and said, "one guess who this happened to." without missing a beat...he said fen. there are so many things i love about the holidays, but trees that fall in a living room of a house in the middle of the night with no pets or children involved is one of my favorites. another favorite is the introduction of both my household elf on the shelf and my classroom elf. there are so many people that are so cynical about the damn thing, but let me try to explain it to you. take your average child under the age of ten and think about how excited they are about...anything. kids get excited about EVERYTHING. so take that and then add the month of december...where kids have to wrap their brains around the fact that a jolly fat guy in a red suit is going to bring them presents for (seemingly) no reason at all except for them "being good." you know what happens? they lose their little minds.
most children, in the month of december, lose their minds. so enter the elf. yes, the book that accompanies him states that he travels back to santa to report what he saw during the day and stuff...but do you know what the elf actually does? he brings the spirit of christmas right into your home or (also) in my case, classroom. it really is magical. and fun. and when people that get all wound up in a negative way about that elf...it makes me want to throat punch them. (happy holidays!) most of these naysayers are not around little people for the most part and don't quite "get it." i dare these scrooges to come into my school for a minute each morning when my kindergartners fire into the classroom like they have been shot out of a cannon. they are so (SO!) excited to see where the elf has "landed" from the night before...and their conversations about him are even better. my own kids hunt around in the morning looking for our home elf "snowflake" and carrie usually claps and squeals when she sees her...ella's eyes light up and i usually need a defibrillator to resuscitate my heart. (so there.) i have gotten away from posing him/her in 328 different positions, cause i've realize that just the fact that it has "magically" moved from one place to another is enough in the eyes of a child.
warren has also been wayyyy wound up about the holidays this year...and has decided to griswold the front of the house again. instead of using staples like clark, he used tacks this time. i didn't know what i was going on...until i went outside and it looked like jolly st. nick took puke on the cedar shakes. (colored lights a plenty.) he's also back in the coupon game and told me that he wants to convert carries bedroom into his "couponing room." i said, "let's not and say we did." (ps. this is a classic quote that my dad always said growing up) he replied with, "you're not letting my coupon skills flourish. they are being bottled up!" (if you don't believe me i'll show you the text.) he gets real passionate about shit like colored lights and coupons and sometimes i don't have the energy to be his cheerleader in that regard. however, when my family was here, they were alllllll about egging him on about both the colored lights (my dad suggested adding candy canes) and the coupons (my mom got wayyyy excited about the free toothpaste) so later on yesterday morning, when i was still laughing about the tree falling down, i got another snapchat from fen...sending me into a another fit of laughter. i was sitting at my desk at lunchtime and thought, will this nonsense ever end with her? she's balls deep in wedding planning and i'm along for the ride...i can't imagine what fun stuff is around the bend. meanwhile, if you can't get into the holiday spirit...you are more than welcome to come to my house, my classroom, or even fen's to see the previously fallen tree. go hard or go home is my motto this time of year...otherwise, you are just missing out. man i love the holidays.
Saturday, November 7, 2015
masters
so someone recently said to me, "you are great at writing...so your masters program must've been easy for you!" (excuse me?) first of all, writing for pleasure and writing a paper are two totally different things. i mean, most times, i don't even use capitalization for christsake...this is far from "scholarly" writing. secondly, do you know who i live with? the offspring that inhibit my house made my masters program seem far from a walk in the park. for example, do you know what it's like when you are a parent and you try to get on the phone? the house can be silent, but as soon as you put that device to your ear to call someone...barnum and bailey suddenly set up shop and your house becomes a legitimate circus. ("can't you see i'm on the PHONE!?!?") well, the same thing happens when you are trying to read a passage or write a paper. it seemed as soon as i opened the laptop...all hell would break lose. laptop closed: kids playing quietly in the next room. laptop open: one kid flushing a toy down the toilet and the other one trying to reinsert herself in my vagina. (you get the point.) i will say that my husband was good about giving me time to get shit done, but sometimes he would get sidetracked with things like couponing and his efforts to control them would fall short.
that brings me to my next topic...butch's coupon game has been strong lately. (joy.) he took a brief hiatus for a while, but he's back. since he's head of the newspaper club at his school, he somehow worked it out that they deliver sunday papers to him in great numbers...coupons and all. in the past month, he has added 12 jugs of laundry detergent, numerous bottles of body wash, and approximately 46 tubes of toothpaste to his hoard. (no bullshit.) he's like a dentistry ghandi when friends come over and passes out crest like candy on halloween. we had a new guest in our house prior to a penn state tailgate and he said, "do you need some toothpaste!?" she said, "well i saw all of that in the bathroom and was going to say something....what the ?!??" (what the ?!?? indeed.) she accepted his offering and then laughed. people think i make this shit up, but it really happens. he sent another set of friends home with a care package filled with his latest treasures. fen recently had a birthday and her gift bag was overflowing with fun things like laundry detergent. the list goes on. i recently told him i needed some new makeup and he said i "better not" buy it full price because he can get it for "free." (for the love of...) he tries to suck me into his couponing ways, but i cannot be swayed.
now that i'm done my masters, i feel like i need to get a new hobby. (not couponing.) it really wasn't "hard" per se...but it did take a lot (A LOT) of time. having a full time job and a family, and just life in general...there are 2341 things i would have rather been doing with my time then writing another paper each weekend. do i think that having this makes me a better teacher? well, maybe in some ways...but i have to say i am a little frightened about where education is heading. (hear me out.) in the month of october, i spent one day out of each week testing my kids. i was out of the classroom and that instructional time was lost...all in the name of data. not to mention a plethora of other crap things i have to write up to hold me "accountable." (hello SLOs.) teaching isn't teaching anymore...it's turning into a data driven profession...proposed by people who have never set foot in a classroom. (it's sad.) so anyway, after getting word that i "passed" and was done this week...i was happy, but i was generally overwhelmed by other stuff. the weather was beautiful that day and i decided to take part of our science time to go outside and teach the kids...how to properly roll down a grassy hill. did you ever watch a kid do this?! it's pretty awesome. their joy that day became my joy and i needed that moment to remember why i became a teacher in the first place. (the kids.) afterwards, they ran around in the sun and they were all smiles. (so was i.)
so i woke up this morning and was overjoyed that i didn't have to do any "scholarly" writing today. my three year old tapped me tenderly in the eye socket and as i slowly opened my eyes...she asked me to blow up a balloon. if you have ever questioned whether you want to be a parent or not...ask yourself if you can muster up the energy at 5:17am to blow up a goddamn balloon. my first activity of the day and i had to channel my inner bozo. i mean, don't let me sway you one way or the other, but then my 5 year old came downstairs wearing only underpants and asked me if she could have halloween candy for breakfast. (no.) that being said...they are both snuggled up to me now on the couch watching cartoons and my coffee is nearby. they are being awfully quiet even though the laptop is open, because somehow they know i'm not writing anything for grad school...kids know things they shouldn't know. case in point, every single day this week i had to shake them awake to get up for school...but here were are at saturday and carrie came over even earlier and inserted her finger in my eye socket. (how do they KNOW!?) now that i am officially finished my masters program, my husband has announced that he is thinking about going back to school for...his doctorate. (DR. BUTCH.) i'll give you a few days for you to wrap your head around that. until next time, bozo the balloon making clown...over and out.
that brings me to my next topic...butch's coupon game has been strong lately. (joy.) he took a brief hiatus for a while, but he's back. since he's head of the newspaper club at his school, he somehow worked it out that they deliver sunday papers to him in great numbers...coupons and all. in the past month, he has added 12 jugs of laundry detergent, numerous bottles of body wash, and approximately 46 tubes of toothpaste to his hoard. (no bullshit.) he's like a dentistry ghandi when friends come over and passes out crest like candy on halloween. we had a new guest in our house prior to a penn state tailgate and he said, "do you need some toothpaste!?" she said, "well i saw all of that in the bathroom and was going to say something....what the ?!??" (what the ?!?? indeed.) she accepted his offering and then laughed. people think i make this shit up, but it really happens. he sent another set of friends home with a care package filled with his latest treasures. fen recently had a birthday and her gift bag was overflowing with fun things like laundry detergent. the list goes on. i recently told him i needed some new makeup and he said i "better not" buy it full price because he can get it for "free." (for the love of...) he tries to suck me into his couponing ways, but i cannot be swayed.
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| i do not lie. |
so i woke up this morning and was overjoyed that i didn't have to do any "scholarly" writing today. my three year old tapped me tenderly in the eye socket and as i slowly opened my eyes...she asked me to blow up a balloon. if you have ever questioned whether you want to be a parent or not...ask yourself if you can muster up the energy at 5:17am to blow up a goddamn balloon. my first activity of the day and i had to channel my inner bozo. i mean, don't let me sway you one way or the other, but then my 5 year old came downstairs wearing only underpants and asked me if she could have halloween candy for breakfast. (no.) that being said...they are both snuggled up to me now on the couch watching cartoons and my coffee is nearby. they are being awfully quiet even though the laptop is open, because somehow they know i'm not writing anything for grad school...kids know things they shouldn't know. case in point, every single day this week i had to shake them awake to get up for school...but here were are at saturday and carrie came over even earlier and inserted her finger in my eye socket. (how do they KNOW!?) now that i am officially finished my masters program, my husband has announced that he is thinking about going back to school for...his doctorate. (DR. BUTCH.) i'll give you a few days for you to wrap your head around that. until next time, bozo the balloon making clown...over and out.
Wednesday, October 7, 2015
fable
so here we are and the school year is in full swing. the beginning of the academic year is equivalent to a brain aneurysm to some extent, mainly because it's just really busy. however, once you get your rules, procedures, and routines down you are ready to roll. let me start by saying one of my main goals in the first month is to create a culture of learning and climate of kindness in my classroom. it's not always an easy task, but it can be done. i want children to know that my classroom is a safe place where they can learn, grow, and interact with me...and with one another. i want them to have fun and be friends. i believe the best kind of learning happens in this type of environment. don't get me wrong, it's not always unicorns and rainbows and there are arguments and altercations occasionally, but for the most part...my classroom is a warm, inviting place to be. that all being said, yesterday at snack time, one little guy in my classroom walked up to another little girl and called her the "f" word. he called her "fat." (oof.) it was unprovoked, out of the blue, and totally uncalled for. the little girl that the remark was directed to is, in fact, a plumper gal, wears glasses, and is a bit quirky. she excels at art and loves to act. she's an old soul in a lot of ways, has a wicked sense of humor (she's one of my favorites, naturally) and when this was said, she looked directly at me and her sad eyes said, "help." my heart sunk.
in these moments, it takes everything in my being not to wig out. i wanted to be an advocate for this sweet natured, kind-hearted, little girl, but i also had to keep the other child's best interest at heart. i know, for instance, that he has an absent father and lots of older brothers and sisters. he is also a child that has anger issues and sometimes when he makes a mistake and i correct him, he hits himself in the head over and over. so i gently called him back to my desk and asked him why he would say something unkind to this little girl to intentionally hurt her feelings. he shrugged his shoulders. i went on to ask him if he would say something like that to me (his teacher) to intentionally hurt my feelings. he said no (and looked mortified.) i explained that we all treat each other with respect in our classroom community. i respect him just as much as he should respect me. also, that there is mutual respect between all students. he nodded his head. many times, i think people don't respect children and then they don't get the respect from them that they deserve. i respect these little people for who they are and i respect them for who they will be someday. in return, they most always give me their respect (and that is so important.) realizing what he had said hurt this little girl, he walked up and apologized. he then sat down and everyone was just thoughtfully munching on their snack. the little girl heard some of the conversation i had with him and she just looked at me and smiled afterward. her eyes said thank you. (that's all i needed.)
so fast forward to today, we read the story 'the tortoise and the hare.' if you don't know this one, you've been living under a rock the past 234 years. cliff notes version, the tortoise is quiet and kind and the hare is flashy and rude. the hare challenges the tortoise to a race and expects to win. however, he gets distracted along the way, mainly because he is arrogant and thinks he will most definitely win. however, in the end, the tortoise wins due to his perseverance. sometimes when we read a story, we also act it out. it's a great way for students to recall and retell information (in a fun way). as i was sitting there, i thought about the incident from the day before...and then chose the little girl to be the tortoise and the little boy to be the hare. my selection was intentional and deliberate, but they (nor the rest of the class) didn't know that. they got up to the "starting line" and there were two kids on the other side of the room with a piece of yarn i whipped out of my desk as the finish line. i showed them the "race course" around the room and we all yelled, "ready, set, go!!" to start it off. the little girl slowly went off the line and plodded along. the little boy took off like he was run by a set of double D batteries. as part of the act he got "distracted" by sam the squirrel (another little boy with the energy of a legit squirrel) and let the tortoise pass him. before he knew it, she was crossing the finish line. every single child in my classroom was cheering mercilessly for this little girl as she went through the yarn finish line! the joy in her face was worth every minute it took to act out that story. however, it was when the little boy walked up and put his arm around her and said, "good job!" at the end, is what really got me. i don't know if he was acting the part or came out of character for that one, but it was awesome.
this all being said, this was a teachable moment that came to me off the cuff. i remembered an incident, intentionally picked the actors, and made a meaningful lesson for everyone (including myself.) parents need to remember that these little moments happen a hundred times a day and tell a whole lot more than that little worksheet your kid is bringing home. most teachers have your children's interest at best heart and work to help them become better human beings. most of all, we all make mistakes (i make a lot). this kid made a mistake by being mean spirited to someone that did not deserve it (it made my heart hurt), but in the end he learned from it with the help and guidance of someone who respected and cared for him. furthermore, i know that this little girl will probably go on to do big things. she might be teased throughout school, but hopefully she has teachers who will be her advocate along the way. eventually, she will be the last one laughing when she's riding around hollywood in her fancy car and paying no mind to the naysayers. (you go girl). the moral of the story the tortoise and the hare is "slow and steady wins the race." after we acted it out, we talked about how when we are faced with something really hard to do, if we stick to it...we will get the job done eventually. had my father written this fable, the moral would be, "suck it up." (i hear his voice in my head often.) the kids called out things that were difficult for them, but with persistence they did it. the monkey bars, reading a book, and learning to ride a bike were at the top of the list. i am fortunate to spend my days with kids who sometimes teach me far more than i teach them. however, if they come of out kindergarten simply remembering that kindness always wins...everyone's a winner. including me.
in these moments, it takes everything in my being not to wig out. i wanted to be an advocate for this sweet natured, kind-hearted, little girl, but i also had to keep the other child's best interest at heart. i know, for instance, that he has an absent father and lots of older brothers and sisters. he is also a child that has anger issues and sometimes when he makes a mistake and i correct him, he hits himself in the head over and over. so i gently called him back to my desk and asked him why he would say something unkind to this little girl to intentionally hurt her feelings. he shrugged his shoulders. i went on to ask him if he would say something like that to me (his teacher) to intentionally hurt my feelings. he said no (and looked mortified.) i explained that we all treat each other with respect in our classroom community. i respect him just as much as he should respect me. also, that there is mutual respect between all students. he nodded his head. many times, i think people don't respect children and then they don't get the respect from them that they deserve. i respect these little people for who they are and i respect them for who they will be someday. in return, they most always give me their respect (and that is so important.) realizing what he had said hurt this little girl, he walked up and apologized. he then sat down and everyone was just thoughtfully munching on their snack. the little girl heard some of the conversation i had with him and she just looked at me and smiled afterward. her eyes said thank you. (that's all i needed.)
so fast forward to today, we read the story 'the tortoise and the hare.' if you don't know this one, you've been living under a rock the past 234 years. cliff notes version, the tortoise is quiet and kind and the hare is flashy and rude. the hare challenges the tortoise to a race and expects to win. however, he gets distracted along the way, mainly because he is arrogant and thinks he will most definitely win. however, in the end, the tortoise wins due to his perseverance. sometimes when we read a story, we also act it out. it's a great way for students to recall and retell information (in a fun way). as i was sitting there, i thought about the incident from the day before...and then chose the little girl to be the tortoise and the little boy to be the hare. my selection was intentional and deliberate, but they (nor the rest of the class) didn't know that. they got up to the "starting line" and there were two kids on the other side of the room with a piece of yarn i whipped out of my desk as the finish line. i showed them the "race course" around the room and we all yelled, "ready, set, go!!" to start it off. the little girl slowly went off the line and plodded along. the little boy took off like he was run by a set of double D batteries. as part of the act he got "distracted" by sam the squirrel (another little boy with the energy of a legit squirrel) and let the tortoise pass him. before he knew it, she was crossing the finish line. every single child in my classroom was cheering mercilessly for this little girl as she went through the yarn finish line! the joy in her face was worth every minute it took to act out that story. however, it was when the little boy walked up and put his arm around her and said, "good job!" at the end, is what really got me. i don't know if he was acting the part or came out of character for that one, but it was awesome.
this all being said, this was a teachable moment that came to me off the cuff. i remembered an incident, intentionally picked the actors, and made a meaningful lesson for everyone (including myself.) parents need to remember that these little moments happen a hundred times a day and tell a whole lot more than that little worksheet your kid is bringing home. most teachers have your children's interest at best heart and work to help them become better human beings. most of all, we all make mistakes (i make a lot). this kid made a mistake by being mean spirited to someone that did not deserve it (it made my heart hurt), but in the end he learned from it with the help and guidance of someone who respected and cared for him. furthermore, i know that this little girl will probably go on to do big things. she might be teased throughout school, but hopefully she has teachers who will be her advocate along the way. eventually, she will be the last one laughing when she's riding around hollywood in her fancy car and paying no mind to the naysayers. (you go girl). the moral of the story the tortoise and the hare is "slow and steady wins the race." after we acted it out, we talked about how when we are faced with something really hard to do, if we stick to it...we will get the job done eventually. had my father written this fable, the moral would be, "suck it up." (i hear his voice in my head often.) the kids called out things that were difficult for them, but with persistence they did it. the monkey bars, reading a book, and learning to ride a bike were at the top of the list. i am fortunate to spend my days with kids who sometimes teach me far more than i teach them. however, if they come of out kindergarten simply remembering that kindness always wins...everyone's a winner. including me.
Friday, October 2, 2015
traps
so anyway, as i was dealing with all that, my husband went on the facebook and posted the this pic:
i didn't receive a text back from my husband, as he knew he hit a chord with me. in that day, i was super exhausted cause carrie was up the whole night before with an awful cough. i had to call off work to take her to the doctor, in the meantime getting ella up, dressed, and fed for school. he had to work late that night, so after administering medicine and caring for her all day (she also refused to nap, too!), i then had to pick up ella, make dinner, do homework, give baths, and do bedtime solo. so would i rather be sitting in my car sipping a starbucks, listening to music, while waiting for an open house at my school to begin? why yes, warren, yes i would. truth be told, if the tides were turned and he was at home dealing with sickness, booby traps, and fights over a fake horse...he'd be losing his mind. i'd be getting texts about how crazy they are and asking me why we ever reproduced in the first place. had he stepped on that treat at the top of the steps instead of me i would have come home to trash bags on the front porch filled with toys, including the contents of the lego landmine. furthermore, that pony would have been put out in the middle of the street to be hit by oncoming traffic. okay, so maybe i'm being a little extreme...but he wouldn't have dealt with it the same way i did. (men are so different).
so after a full week of my kids tag teaming sickness, i'm kinda spent. when my kids are sick, it makes me thankful that they are usually well most of the year. anyone that has to deal (or has dealt with) sick kids knows that it is far from a cup of tea. actually, it's more like a cup of whiskey. (it's hard. really hard.) hopefully this isn't the precursor to a horrible winter of illnesses, cause that would suck. as my husband sauntered in the door later that night sans starbucks, i told him that i was thinking about getting rid of a lot of the baby stuff we have around the house (feeding seats, bathtubs, boppys..baby stuff). he eyeballed me and said, "i think that's a very good idea." he didn't ask how the kids were that day/evening , cause he already knew about the fake horse (amongst other things) and didn't want me to get wound up about it again. i sat there sipping my cabernet sauvignon quietly on the couch, praying for no late night wake up calls from either offspring due to sickness. shortly after, the wine made me warm, so i went upstairs to get a short sleeve shirt. upon whipping open my closet door, an unfamiliar object was staring at me with beady eyes. (what the hell!?!?) i screamed...loudly. and then realized it was the damn horse. i was startled by the pony i had put in there...a subsequent booby trap caused by my own hand (damnit.) if i would've woken up my kids up in that moment, that horse would've been out on the street faster than you can say seabiscuit. shortly after you would've found me alone in my car sipping starbucks, holding a one way ticket to batshit crazyville. anyways, stay tuned...there's always next week.
Wednesday, September 16, 2015
winning
so i haven't been able to write lately, cause i am in the home stretch of my masters degree. (holy hell.) i had thought i was in a 16 month program up until a few weeks ago, and then got an email from a professor entitled, "welcome to your last course!" (wtf?) i was so confused, but realized that i had signed up for the accelerated program instead of the regular program and that's why i was losing my mind the whole time. who doesn't know how long their masters is going to take them? i'll tell you who...a crazy mother of two. anyways, i'm done in less than five weeks and can't wait, it has NOT been easy by any means this past year and i'm looking forward to some "free" time again. also, in the way of life...no one told me that as soon as i was done earning my doctorate in dirty diapers that i would swiftly move on to earning my masters in making lunches. mannnnnn i hate making lunches! it sounds like a simple chore, but what a pain in the dick it is! (truly.) i will say that now that both kids are successfully potty trained, i don't miss the dirty diaper part of parenthood. people told me i would miss that part...the poop part, and it just hasn't happened yet. in the past month, along with pooping independence, my second born has graduated from crib to big girl bed, from booster seat to a regular chair at dinner, and made her changing table obsolete. this sudden burst of independence...has made me inwardly sad. with ella, everything happened much slower. also, when she grew out of those phases i always knew that there would be another kid still being needy. carrie started preschool and took it upon herself to grow the hell up in one month. (i hate it.) no worries, she still does fun stuff like poop with a pirate patch on.
now that i'm back to work, things are happening at warp speed. the weeks are flying by and i'm not certain how to make it all slow down! it does feel good to be a productive member of society again, though. my kids at school are making my job excellent, as they are the best group i have had in 10 years. i know that i just jinxed myself but saying that, but i wanted to put it out there. it's refreshing when you can actually teach and not have to worry about behavior problems. one little guy on the first day looked at me very seriously and said, "i know we haven't known each other that long...but you are best friend." these are the little moments that stick with me always and make me love what i do. on ella's first day of kindergarten, i couldn't get out of work in the morning, so butch took her. i said that i would pick her up. so i wrote a little note in her folder and everything, letting the teacher know. well, the time came for me to leave early from school, my coworkers had my kindergarteners under control and one little boy looked up at me and said (grabbing himself), "i have to go to the bathhhhroooommm." so, i took him to the restroom and then ran (late) out the door. i hit major traffic, but when i got there 3 minutes late...i couldn't find ella. i went running past the office like a hooligan and the secretary ran out and said, "MA'AM! you need a PASS!" i mentally wigged out a little and went into the office. guess who was in there holding another secretaries hand? ella. i didn't even notice her as i was explaining to the other secretary frantically that i was 3 minutes late and couldn't find her. then i heard, "MOMMY?!" and whipped around to see her smiling at me. so that was the end of her first day. kindergarten teacher mom problems.
this next weekend we are heading up into the mountains of northern pennsylvania for one of my most favorite trips...to a place called chet's for "frontier days." seriously guys, it trumps childbirth in the life events category. i can't explain it fully other than there is a lot of flannel, a lot of american flags, and a lot of fun. plus, it's spent with a group of old friends and what is better than that? my parents have graciously decided to take care of laverne and shirley for the weekend, so we are kid free. when discussing this with ella she said, "why can't i go into the woods with you!?" i told her it's adults only. she said, "why cuz we will get lost and stuff?!" (yeah, let's go with that.) we don't have overnight sitters often, so when we do...we get wound up. last year, butch lost his cell phone riding a mechanical bull and i had an adverse reaction to copious amounts of alcohol and broke out in hives. (let's get wild.) so in conclusion, the past coupla months have been spent finishing up schooling, starting a new school year, new found independence for both kids, and me becoming a professional lunch maker. warren is still working out feverishly and whipping up potions like walter white in our pantry. (creatine and crap.) oh, and he's back on his coupon campaign as well. (yay.) i look forward to fall and all things that amazing season has to offer. i walked outside yesterday morning and the weather told me that boilo season is just around the bend. (better get the ball jars ready!) so basically with october beckoning...i will have my masters in reading and literacy under my belt, my doctorate in dirty diapers, and will also be currently working on my masters in making lunches. not to mention an associates in adult beverages hopefully earned this weekend. in the words of charlie sheen...i'm pretty sure i'm winning. i'll raise my pumpkin beer to that.
now that i'm back to work, things are happening at warp speed. the weeks are flying by and i'm not certain how to make it all slow down! it does feel good to be a productive member of society again, though. my kids at school are making my job excellent, as they are the best group i have had in 10 years. i know that i just jinxed myself but saying that, but i wanted to put it out there. it's refreshing when you can actually teach and not have to worry about behavior problems. one little guy on the first day looked at me very seriously and said, "i know we haven't known each other that long...but you are best friend." these are the little moments that stick with me always and make me love what i do. on ella's first day of kindergarten, i couldn't get out of work in the morning, so butch took her. i said that i would pick her up. so i wrote a little note in her folder and everything, letting the teacher know. well, the time came for me to leave early from school, my coworkers had my kindergarteners under control and one little boy looked up at me and said (grabbing himself), "i have to go to the bathhhhroooommm." so, i took him to the restroom and then ran (late) out the door. i hit major traffic, but when i got there 3 minutes late...i couldn't find ella. i went running past the office like a hooligan and the secretary ran out and said, "MA'AM! you need a PASS!" i mentally wigged out a little and went into the office. guess who was in there holding another secretaries hand? ella. i didn't even notice her as i was explaining to the other secretary frantically that i was 3 minutes late and couldn't find her. then i heard, "MOMMY?!" and whipped around to see her smiling at me. so that was the end of her first day. kindergarten teacher mom problems.
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| first day of school. |
Friday, August 21, 2015
fifteen
first of all, it's been fifteen years since we've graduated high school!? FIFTEEN YEARS!? back in the good old milennium year, i remember thinking about what my reunions would be like ten, fifteen, twenty years and beyond. i guess i never imagined that they would a. come so fast and b. i would be where i am today. at the 10 year reunion i tucked my dress into my underwear upon leaving the restroom and almost made it to the dance floor before someone told me. (classy, i know.) think about who you were when you graduated high school, what you thought your life would look like, what you wanted to "be" when you grew up. maybe you already knew those answers when you put on that cap and gown. (me? i wasn't so sure.) personally, although parts of high school were a smashing good time...it also kinda sucked. that period where we are trying to figure out ourselves and make sense of the world is difficult, and when you are trying to do that with a bunch of people that are going through the same thing...it's hard. putting a large group of hormonal teenagers with many different personalities together in one building and expecting a favorable outcome is like poking a bee hive and not expecting any bees to fly out. i can't image the impact that social media has played in the lives of now high schoolers. truth be told, i'm kinda glad we had landline phones, handwritten notes, and that things like ICQ were just emerging from the explosion of technology we have today.
however, i've been thinking recently a lot about the fact that social media has allowed me to keep in touch with former classmates and see where they are and what they are doing now. although i was not "friends" per se with these people in high school, i always wonder what everyone is up to. i love, LOVE people's stories (no matter who you are) and so social media has opened that book (so to speak). i share your joys (and sometimes your pain) and with a life that is literally super short...why not? when i tell new people how close i am to some of my classmates from high school, they kind of stare at me blankly like that's not even possible. however, i feel the loss of a fellow classmate in our junior year solidified those bonds. when jon died, his mom said something to me that stuck with me always. she said, "he will forever be seventeen. he won't graduate, he won't have a family, he won't grow old. he will always be seventeen in our hearts and minds. in some ways it's a gift, and in some ways it's a curse." therefore, as we flashforward more than 15 years, i still think about the man he would be today and who his friends would be. i wonder if he would've gone to college, gotten married, or had a family. i wonder if he would be a single bachelor and loving every minute of it. we don't know, nor will we ever know. (forever seventeen.)
i guess my point of this post is this. jon's death in high school shattered everything that i thought i knew in my safe little world. up until that point, i had lost no one that i truly remembered or knew personally. it changed the way i lived and changed the way felt about, well, everything. in college, i went through a particularly low point and much of it stemmed from never really dealing with grief and loss a few years before. as i overcame that, i realized what a gift it is to simply be alive. to laugh with the people we love. to meet new people and also enjoy the company of old friends. to simply...live. when people say, "life is short"...they aren't lying. the past fifteen years flew by faster than i could have even imagined. if you would've told me my senior year that i would be living and teaching in maryland, married to butchie (that was his high school nickname for those of you that don't know), and have two children i would have told you you were a liar...as i slugged back some lager from a can that i stole from my dad's stash. furthermore, many of our classmates have lost parents far too soon and i sympathize with them whole-heartedly. each day we have on this earth is a true gift, and if we don't give it our all...we are doing an injustice to not only ourselves, but to everybody.
on the eve of our fifteenth year class reunion, i want you to think about the relationships we had as teenagers and think about how far we've come since then. i want you to think about your story and what you've written for yourself over the years. quite honestly, whether you are married or divorced, single or spoken for, kidless or choc fulla offspring, employed or jobless...i really don't give a rats ass. all i know is fifteen years ago we survived 4 of the most awkward and trying times in our teenage lives and made it out on the other side. whoever those kids were back in high school and the relationships we shared (no matter how superficial)...they mattered. whether we were friends or not really doesn't matter either. what matters now is the way we treat each other, now that we all know better. we are all here to tell our stories and share in awkward conversation. (i live for awkward conversation.) if you are on the fence about showing up to the reunion, just come. hell, i didn't pay twenty bucks to hang out with fen and warren. (seriously.) may we raise our glasses to the teenagers we were and the adults (using that loosely) that we've become...also sharing in the memory of a classmate who won't be attending, but will most definitely be there in spirit. also, if i accidentally tuck my dress into my under garments, please kindly let me know before i hit the dance floor. let's party.
however, i've been thinking recently a lot about the fact that social media has allowed me to keep in touch with former classmates and see where they are and what they are doing now. although i was not "friends" per se with these people in high school, i always wonder what everyone is up to. i love, LOVE people's stories (no matter who you are) and so social media has opened that book (so to speak). i share your joys (and sometimes your pain) and with a life that is literally super short...why not? when i tell new people how close i am to some of my classmates from high school, they kind of stare at me blankly like that's not even possible. however, i feel the loss of a fellow classmate in our junior year solidified those bonds. when jon died, his mom said something to me that stuck with me always. she said, "he will forever be seventeen. he won't graduate, he won't have a family, he won't grow old. he will always be seventeen in our hearts and minds. in some ways it's a gift, and in some ways it's a curse." therefore, as we flashforward more than 15 years, i still think about the man he would be today and who his friends would be. i wonder if he would've gone to college, gotten married, or had a family. i wonder if he would be a single bachelor and loving every minute of it. we don't know, nor will we ever know. (forever seventeen.)
i guess my point of this post is this. jon's death in high school shattered everything that i thought i knew in my safe little world. up until that point, i had lost no one that i truly remembered or knew personally. it changed the way i lived and changed the way felt about, well, everything. in college, i went through a particularly low point and much of it stemmed from never really dealing with grief and loss a few years before. as i overcame that, i realized what a gift it is to simply be alive. to laugh with the people we love. to meet new people and also enjoy the company of old friends. to simply...live. when people say, "life is short"...they aren't lying. the past fifteen years flew by faster than i could have even imagined. if you would've told me my senior year that i would be living and teaching in maryland, married to butchie (that was his high school nickname for those of you that don't know), and have two children i would have told you you were a liar...as i slugged back some lager from a can that i stole from my dad's stash. furthermore, many of our classmates have lost parents far too soon and i sympathize with them whole-heartedly. each day we have on this earth is a true gift, and if we don't give it our all...we are doing an injustice to not only ourselves, but to everybody.
on the eve of our fifteenth year class reunion, i want you to think about the relationships we had as teenagers and think about how far we've come since then. i want you to think about your story and what you've written for yourself over the years. quite honestly, whether you are married or divorced, single or spoken for, kidless or choc fulla offspring, employed or jobless...i really don't give a rats ass. all i know is fifteen years ago we survived 4 of the most awkward and trying times in our teenage lives and made it out on the other side. whoever those kids were back in high school and the relationships we shared (no matter how superficial)...they mattered. whether we were friends or not really doesn't matter either. what matters now is the way we treat each other, now that we all know better. we are all here to tell our stories and share in awkward conversation. (i live for awkward conversation.) if you are on the fence about showing up to the reunion, just come. hell, i didn't pay twenty bucks to hang out with fen and warren. (seriously.) may we raise our glasses to the teenagers we were and the adults (using that loosely) that we've become...also sharing in the memory of a classmate who won't be attending, but will most definitely be there in spirit. also, if i accidentally tuck my dress into my under garments, please kindly let me know before i hit the dance floor. let's party.
Sunday, August 16, 2015
folly
so my morning started when i rolled over to my three year old staring into my eyeballs, earnestly asking me to velcro up her princess gown that was on over her pajamas. then (while i still had one eye open) my husband told me he was going to run out to get a newspaper. a newspaper on a sunday can only mean one thing...coupons. his couponing addiction has fallen by the wayside since his most recent endeavor that includes wanting to look like arnold schwarzenegger. (workout city, man!) i mean, i am kinda happy about that though, because he was going nuts at one point and bringing home, like, polident by the truckload...and neither one of us wears dentures (i swear this is true.) so when he said he was going for the paper, i rolled my eyes, but didn't say much about it. he came back and started clipping and i asked him how he knew what were the best deals. he said (and i quote), "couponmom.com does all the math for me, and then i just go out and get it." (coupon. mom. dot. com.) i said, "so what are you in the market for today?" he went on, "well, there are great deals on pert plus and nivea body wash." i said oh. (just oh.) so he disappeared into the morning light again to walgreens and came home with...14 bottles collectively of hygiene products. 4 ginormous bottles of pert plus and 10 (TEN) bottles of nivea body wash. basically we have enough soap to last us until the end of time. not one head or body in this house will ever be dirty. (ever.)
he's always like a kid in a candy store when he shares his stash and savings with me. apparently he got the shampoo for $1 a bottle and the nivea at about $1.50 a bottle. (he's like a wizard of washing products.) i can only deduce that this sudden interest came about from frivolous spending brought on by vacation. i'm pretty sure that's why he got his boxers in a bunch and went out specifically to save some cash (i can't be certain though.) speaking of vacation, i believe this is the first vacation that we can really call a vacation since we've had kids. mainly, i found that taking a trip with extended family turns out the only way you can actually have a minute to relax while on vacation. i mean, we went from 4 hands to take care of their snack, drink, entertainment, potty, meal, and nap needs to FOURTEEN extra hands. plus, many of those extra hands don't have small children to tend to on a daily basis, so they were all for it. i actually found time in the day to do simple things like pee alone and read a coupla pages of a book (it was glorious). if i could make a recommendation to people with small children it is this: vacation with your entire family, the more hands the better. plus, i didn't feel guilty because my kids got to spend time with grandparents, aunts, and uncles whom they don't get to see very often. (HIGHLY recommend it, people.) the last long day of vacation we spend hanging out near the ocean, beer in hand. we were one of the last people on the beach that day and when we got back i decided to check some work voice mails and emails that i had neglected throughout the week. (bad idea.)
let me start this story by explaining something first...although i am friendly with most of my coworkers, we aren't all chummy. there are a select few that i share my personal business with, but mostly i try to keep it professional. i don't go to work happy hours, i don't get wound up at the christmas party, i don't ever really show that side of myself with colleagues ever. that being said, my principal and i have a great relationship and a shared sense of humor. we like to crack jokes and have a love of sarcasm. so when i got a voicemail from her on friday evening, one that i had originally received on wednesday, i felt really bad. usually i get right back to her, but i was on vacation and didn't realize it was actually her calling me. so anyway, i logged on to work email and saw we had THE email that every teacher dreads at the end of the summer, the "back to school email" from the principal. i read through it and then decided to send her a message back saying sorry for not getting back to her voicemail sooner. this is what i wrote: "dear so and so!! i just listened to your voicemail from wednesday, as i am on vacation at the beach with loads of family and immersed in booze and food that is bad for you. SO, so sorry i didn't get back to you sooner. i hope i'm not fired...that would really suck. hope to talk to you soon! signed, your second favorite kindergarten teacher (we all know ms. walson is your first)." i hit send.
about a half hour later, the kids were in bed and i cracked another beer, only to discover that i had a text message from ms. walson. it read as follows: "ummmm..did you mean to reply all to the email?!?! the ENTIRE staff got your email. by the way, thanks for the shoutout! (wink face.)" WHHHHHAAATTTTTTT! i had to go back and read what i wrote, but thought oh hell, i need to bandaid this somehow. so i sent other email to my coworkers (ballsy? i don't know.) it went like this: "hello. that email was supposed to go to ms. so and so only! my awesome colleague ms. walson informed me i hit reply all...and also thanked me for the shout out in the email as well. it's my last day of beach vacation...forgive me. see you all monday. i'll bring the mimosas." immediately the young gentleman of a music teacher emailed me back and said, "you are the TRUE MVP already!! i wanna be like you when i grow up!" (subject line: MVP!!!) i died. so anyways, that's how that all went down. i start work tomorrow morning (cue violin music) after a summer of shenanigans and i'm really not sure what i am walking in to due to my folly. hopefully my principal still has her sense of humor, otherwise i am shit outta luck in that department. i guess i'm really starting this school year off with a bang. at least i will be squeaky clean for my first day, due to all the pert plus and nivea products in our household. in lieu of mimosas, maybe i should go in tomorrow waving around free polident and discounted body wash? professionally speaking, probably not.
he's always like a kid in a candy store when he shares his stash and savings with me. apparently he got the shampoo for $1 a bottle and the nivea at about $1.50 a bottle. (he's like a wizard of washing products.) i can only deduce that this sudden interest came about from frivolous spending brought on by vacation. i'm pretty sure that's why he got his boxers in a bunch and went out specifically to save some cash (i can't be certain though.) speaking of vacation, i believe this is the first vacation that we can really call a vacation since we've had kids. mainly, i found that taking a trip with extended family turns out the only way you can actually have a minute to relax while on vacation. i mean, we went from 4 hands to take care of their snack, drink, entertainment, potty, meal, and nap needs to FOURTEEN extra hands. plus, many of those extra hands don't have small children to tend to on a daily basis, so they were all for it. i actually found time in the day to do simple things like pee alone and read a coupla pages of a book (it was glorious). if i could make a recommendation to people with small children it is this: vacation with your entire family, the more hands the better. plus, i didn't feel guilty because my kids got to spend time with grandparents, aunts, and uncles whom they don't get to see very often. (HIGHLY recommend it, people.) the last long day of vacation we spend hanging out near the ocean, beer in hand. we were one of the last people on the beach that day and when we got back i decided to check some work voice mails and emails that i had neglected throughout the week. (bad idea.)
let me start this story by explaining something first...although i am friendly with most of my coworkers, we aren't all chummy. there are a select few that i share my personal business with, but mostly i try to keep it professional. i don't go to work happy hours, i don't get wound up at the christmas party, i don't ever really show that side of myself with colleagues ever. that being said, my principal and i have a great relationship and a shared sense of humor. we like to crack jokes and have a love of sarcasm. so when i got a voicemail from her on friday evening, one that i had originally received on wednesday, i felt really bad. usually i get right back to her, but i was on vacation and didn't realize it was actually her calling me. so anyway, i logged on to work email and saw we had THE email that every teacher dreads at the end of the summer, the "back to school email" from the principal. i read through it and then decided to send her a message back saying sorry for not getting back to her voicemail sooner. this is what i wrote: "dear so and so!! i just listened to your voicemail from wednesday, as i am on vacation at the beach with loads of family and immersed in booze and food that is bad for you. SO, so sorry i didn't get back to you sooner. i hope i'm not fired...that would really suck. hope to talk to you soon! signed, your second favorite kindergarten teacher (we all know ms. walson is your first)." i hit send.
about a half hour later, the kids were in bed and i cracked another beer, only to discover that i had a text message from ms. walson. it read as follows: "ummmm..did you mean to reply all to the email?!?! the ENTIRE staff got your email. by the way, thanks for the shoutout! (wink face.)" WHHHHHAAATTTTTTT! i had to go back and read what i wrote, but thought oh hell, i need to bandaid this somehow. so i sent other email to my coworkers (ballsy? i don't know.) it went like this: "hello. that email was supposed to go to ms. so and so only! my awesome colleague ms. walson informed me i hit reply all...and also thanked me for the shout out in the email as well. it's my last day of beach vacation...forgive me. see you all monday. i'll bring the mimosas." immediately the young gentleman of a music teacher emailed me back and said, "you are the TRUE MVP already!! i wanna be like you when i grow up!" (subject line: MVP!!!) i died. so anyways, that's how that all went down. i start work tomorrow morning (cue violin music) after a summer of shenanigans and i'm really not sure what i am walking in to due to my folly. hopefully my principal still has her sense of humor, otherwise i am shit outta luck in that department. i guess i'm really starting this school year off with a bang. at least i will be squeaky clean for my first day, due to all the pert plus and nivea products in our household. in lieu of mimosas, maybe i should go in tomorrow waving around free polident and discounted body wash? professionally speaking, probably not.
Tuesday, August 4, 2015
advice
so today i spent a small fortune on ella's school supplies...so much so that i had to head to the bank right after to apply for a second mortgage. (not really, but close.) all jokes aside, know that no matter what you spend on your kid's school supplies, your kid's teacher probably spends quadruple that out of her own pocket every school year. now that i have a kid that is going to kindergarten in a few weeks, i feel like i can really tell you some things that your kid's teacher (kindergarten or otherwise) really wants you to know...my tale of expensive school supplies leads me right to number 1.
1. don't skimp on school supplies. if your kid's list says get a 24 count box of crayola crayons, don't improvise and get a 64 pack of rose arts. if you think you are doing your kid a favor by buying them 40 more crayons than they need, you aren't. the quantity goes up, the quality goes down. while your kid is becoming frustrated by the lackluster color and broken wax in his hand, his buddy next to him is drawing creamy dreamlike pictures with his crayolas. same goes for scissors. if the list says get "fiskars" brand, don't go off the beaten path and buy, like, "whiskers." (they don't work) we have done extensive research on this subject in the form of observation. just buy what the list says and if you can't afford it, be honest and let your kid's teacher know...she'll probably foot the bill or find a way to help you out. trust me on this one. sidebar: also get everything on the list so that your kid's teacher doesn't have to harass you later on. it's annoying for both of us.
2. make your kid carry their own stuff. the first day, your kid is going to have bags of supplies (see above) and you may have to help them out (that's okay). however, on any other day if you are toting your kids book bag or lunchbox for them (no matter how young), you are doing them a disservice. we are trying to create independent, capable kids that can function in society. if they can't even carry their own back pack, what are we telling them? (to be lazy?) if it's too heavy for them, then you put too much crap in there that they don't need. plus, you look really silly with that frozen themed satchel slung over your shoulder. your kid can handle carrying their own crap. furthermore, why wouldn't you want them to? it's less work for you! hand them their book bag and lunch box, explain to them it's their responsibility to carry them and send them on their merry way. wave to elsa and anna as they sachet down the hall.
3. label everything. remember how i just stated that it's their responsibility to carry their own stuff? welp, it's also their responsibility to not lose their own stuff. now being that some of these kiddos haven't had to be responsible for many things in their young lives...they are bound to lose stuff. (it's gonna happen.) you may think that young susie would never misplace her beloved new sweater that was bought only for school, but she will. if you write her name on the label, you have a good chance of getting it back. if you don't, it goes to the lost and found. the lost and found in my school is like a black abyss of doom. actually, when i show parents the sheer magnitude of what is the school lost and found, they usually stand there, mouths agape. if half of these parents would label their kids stuff, this tragic phenomenon wouldn't happen. oh, and initials don't work either. (do you know how many J. W.'s there are in a school? a lot.) just do it. it takes a second and a sharpie, and you won't want to ring your kids neck when they lose their new jacket for the fourth time that school year. whip out your permanent marker and go wild.
4. don't linger in the classroom. especially on the first day, your kid's teacher is trying to get acclimated and get to know your little buttercup, without you. no matter what the grade, when you linger in the classroom, it's a distraction to the teacher and to your kid. if you want to visit any other day, go for it! i welcome parents anytime in my classroom. however, that being said, it is always nice to have a heads up. imagine if i just waltzed in your office unannounced, just to say hello and stood there while you did your job. it could be mighty awkward and a distraction (imagine what that's like to a room full of kids!) we want you to be a part of your child's learning, but it's just common courtesy. plus, if you tell us in advance, we may give you fun stuff to do like rip pages out of a book or work with a group of students! (wahoo!) trust that the teacher knows what they are doing (most do) and trust that your kid is going to be okay (most will be just fine!). the ones that cry the first day (typically in kindergarten) are usually singing and smiling by day 2 (or minute 2.) i promise.
5. whatever you do, don't refer to your child as a genius. naming your child as a "genius," or "above average," or "brilliant" to his/her teacher makes you sound...kinda like a fool. whether your child really is a young bill shakespeare or not, we will figure it out quite quickly. also, i have found in my experience that children love to make a liar out of you. the minute after you tell me how bright your kid is and walk out of the room, they are the first one doing arm-pit farts or picking their nose. another thing to not say along these lines is that you "hope your child isn't bored" at school. children very rarely get bored in same way adults do. they find the fun and wonder in everything. therefore, if you think your young al einstein is going to be twiddling his thumbs in class, you are wrong. (he'll be alright.) plus, i know it doesn't sound like it, but saying your "child might get bored" is a direct insult to his teacher. we strive to keep kids motivated and engaged most of time they are with us. by pulling the boredom card you are being offensive whether you want to be or not.
these are my top five for now, but i'll probably have more to add to the list as the swimming supplies are put away at the stores and the back to school stuff makes its debut. let me just say that i cannot believe i am starting my 10th year of teaching and my first born is starting her first day of kindergarten in a few weeks. i suppose the shock of expensive school supplies is just the beginning of seeing the flip side of things in regard to teaching. i look forward to what this year is going to bring for my brilliant child. i can't wait to saunter down the hall with her frozen knapsack adorning my back and then linger in the classroom on the first day. her brand new lunchbox will inevitably be lost and unfound, because i forgot to put her name on it. however, i'm sure she will have a great time in the classroom coloring with her rose arts and cutting with her whisker scissors. just kidding, that was all sarcasm. however, i surely hope i don't turn out to be a hypocrite and end up following my own advice this year. (probably not...but it's worth a shot.) i will say, though, that i already have my sharpie locked and loaded. look out.
1. don't skimp on school supplies. if your kid's list says get a 24 count box of crayola crayons, don't improvise and get a 64 pack of rose arts. if you think you are doing your kid a favor by buying them 40 more crayons than they need, you aren't. the quantity goes up, the quality goes down. while your kid is becoming frustrated by the lackluster color and broken wax in his hand, his buddy next to him is drawing creamy dreamlike pictures with his crayolas. same goes for scissors. if the list says get "fiskars" brand, don't go off the beaten path and buy, like, "whiskers." (they don't work) we have done extensive research on this subject in the form of observation. just buy what the list says and if you can't afford it, be honest and let your kid's teacher know...she'll probably foot the bill or find a way to help you out. trust me on this one. sidebar: also get everything on the list so that your kid's teacher doesn't have to harass you later on. it's annoying for both of us.
2. make your kid carry their own stuff. the first day, your kid is going to have bags of supplies (see above) and you may have to help them out (that's okay). however, on any other day if you are toting your kids book bag or lunchbox for them (no matter how young), you are doing them a disservice. we are trying to create independent, capable kids that can function in society. if they can't even carry their own back pack, what are we telling them? (to be lazy?) if it's too heavy for them, then you put too much crap in there that they don't need. plus, you look really silly with that frozen themed satchel slung over your shoulder. your kid can handle carrying their own crap. furthermore, why wouldn't you want them to? it's less work for you! hand them their book bag and lunch box, explain to them it's their responsibility to carry them and send them on their merry way. wave to elsa and anna as they sachet down the hall.
3. label everything. remember how i just stated that it's their responsibility to carry their own stuff? welp, it's also their responsibility to not lose their own stuff. now being that some of these kiddos haven't had to be responsible for many things in their young lives...they are bound to lose stuff. (it's gonna happen.) you may think that young susie would never misplace her beloved new sweater that was bought only for school, but she will. if you write her name on the label, you have a good chance of getting it back. if you don't, it goes to the lost and found. the lost and found in my school is like a black abyss of doom. actually, when i show parents the sheer magnitude of what is the school lost and found, they usually stand there, mouths agape. if half of these parents would label their kids stuff, this tragic phenomenon wouldn't happen. oh, and initials don't work either. (do you know how many J. W.'s there are in a school? a lot.) just do it. it takes a second and a sharpie, and you won't want to ring your kids neck when they lose their new jacket for the fourth time that school year. whip out your permanent marker and go wild.
4. don't linger in the classroom. especially on the first day, your kid's teacher is trying to get acclimated and get to know your little buttercup, without you. no matter what the grade, when you linger in the classroom, it's a distraction to the teacher and to your kid. if you want to visit any other day, go for it! i welcome parents anytime in my classroom. however, that being said, it is always nice to have a heads up. imagine if i just waltzed in your office unannounced, just to say hello and stood there while you did your job. it could be mighty awkward and a distraction (imagine what that's like to a room full of kids!) we want you to be a part of your child's learning, but it's just common courtesy. plus, if you tell us in advance, we may give you fun stuff to do like rip pages out of a book or work with a group of students! (wahoo!) trust that the teacher knows what they are doing (most do) and trust that your kid is going to be okay (most will be just fine!). the ones that cry the first day (typically in kindergarten) are usually singing and smiling by day 2 (or minute 2.) i promise.
5. whatever you do, don't refer to your child as a genius. naming your child as a "genius," or "above average," or "brilliant" to his/her teacher makes you sound...kinda like a fool. whether your child really is a young bill shakespeare or not, we will figure it out quite quickly. also, i have found in my experience that children love to make a liar out of you. the minute after you tell me how bright your kid is and walk out of the room, they are the first one doing arm-pit farts or picking their nose. another thing to not say along these lines is that you "hope your child isn't bored" at school. children very rarely get bored in same way adults do. they find the fun and wonder in everything. therefore, if you think your young al einstein is going to be twiddling his thumbs in class, you are wrong. (he'll be alright.) plus, i know it doesn't sound like it, but saying your "child might get bored" is a direct insult to his teacher. we strive to keep kids motivated and engaged most of time they are with us. by pulling the boredom card you are being offensive whether you want to be or not.
these are my top five for now, but i'll probably have more to add to the list as the swimming supplies are put away at the stores and the back to school stuff makes its debut. let me just say that i cannot believe i am starting my 10th year of teaching and my first born is starting her first day of kindergarten in a few weeks. i suppose the shock of expensive school supplies is just the beginning of seeing the flip side of things in regard to teaching. i look forward to what this year is going to bring for my brilliant child. i can't wait to saunter down the hall with her frozen knapsack adorning my back and then linger in the classroom on the first day. her brand new lunchbox will inevitably be lost and unfound, because i forgot to put her name on it. however, i'm sure she will have a great time in the classroom coloring with her rose arts and cutting with her whisker scissors. just kidding, that was all sarcasm. however, i surely hope i don't turn out to be a hypocrite and end up following my own advice this year. (probably not...but it's worth a shot.) i will say, though, that i already have my sharpie locked and loaded. look out.
Sunday, August 2, 2015
blessed
so yesterday i walked upstairs and i heard one child crying on the toilet due to constipation, saw the other child hiding in the bedroom pooping her own pants...and they were talking to coach each other through it by yelling through the hallway. as i stood there for a minute, i thought...is this really happening? i mean, both kids are taking a crap and having a conversation about it? (this is my life.) in the meantime, my husband and youngest brother were running around the house trying to get things prepared for a spartan race. oh yes, you heard that right...warren signed up and successfully completed a spartan race. you know how they have those couch to 5k programs? well he went from lazy boy to obstacle course in 6 months flat. i will say that the new and improved model of my husband is much more happy. he helps out around the house and spends less time scratching his nuts on the couch. he definitely spends more time now working out than laying around balls akimbo in the living room. exercise motivates you to be more motivated in other aspects of your life...and he is a prime example. i mean, i really had no choice ever to be motivated because my kids needed my constant attention. (since their birth.) however, now that he's all hands on deck, it's much more pleasant around the house. i don't feel like i want to swan dive off the bay bridge because of all my responsibilities and he doesn't feel like a tubba goo laying on the lazy boy. (it's a win-win.)
i have come to the point in the summer where i am ready to go back to work. (you heard that right.) i have said many times that i was never cut out to be a stay at home mom and when summertime forces me to do just that, i go a little crackers. i know, i know...i'm hashtag blessed to be able to spend more time with my kiddos, and i'm not negating that. i would willingly lay on the tracks for either one of them, but having them inserted in my anal cavity 24 hours a day is not my cup of tea. i hit a breaking point sometime last week when i heard "mommy" for the 3,384th time. i yelled, "CALL ME SOMETHING ELSSSSSE! ANYTHING!" ella has since started calling me "mama"...which has a better ring to it if you ask me. i am almost tempted to have them call me, like, madonna or betty sue or something. butch said, "why is ella calling you mama?" i shrugged my shoulders, but know my outburst had something to do with it. carrie still yells mommmEEEEE and enunciates the "E" for good measure. (she's awesome like that.) that night, i finally sat down on the couch at 7:42pm and heard my husband get out of the downstairs shower. (he was afraid to tell me he forgot a towel.) so instead of asking, fearing i may lose my last shit on him, he covered his balls with his dirty boxers and ran wet through the living room and up the stairs. (making eye contact with no one.) i looked at the kids, who were eyes wide, like what the hell just happened?!...and i could not stop laughing. for the record, i would've gotten him a towel, but what ended up happening was much more funny.
so i have one more week of being a professional snack maker (seriously, my kids eat snacks ALL DAMN DAY!), one week of beach vacation...and then i'm back to work. how the hell does the summer always go so fast? anyways, i'll have to jog my brain on how to do normal things like commute to work...and wear shoes. my husband will get one extra week at home solo with our little chickadees, so that could get a little dicey. if my patience level is at about a 7, he's at about a 2 most of the time with them. maybe he'll hit the point when he's heard "daddy" too many times and ask them to call him something else. i hope they choose something cooler like mick jagger or big papa. incidents like the conversation piece between constipation and crapping their pants i'm sure will continue to happen between sisters. it's things like this that make me question my sanity sometimes. (coaching each other through a crap?!) speaking of conversations about the commode, carrie has successfully started potty training! (well, the pee yes...the poop not yet.) therefore, the tour de shitter has now gone double time, as we visit every bathroom of every establishment we go to. today we went to tj maxx, so add that to the list of toilets i've seen in the greater annapolis area. i'm thinking about creating an app where parents can check in to the bathrooms and rate them. (good idea?) so onto another summer week of swimming, snack making, and hammock swinging. no worries, as stated before, i know that i am hashtag blessed...but it still doesn't mean i want to lose my shit every once in a while. betty sue...over and out.
i have come to the point in the summer where i am ready to go back to work. (you heard that right.) i have said many times that i was never cut out to be a stay at home mom and when summertime forces me to do just that, i go a little crackers. i know, i know...i'm hashtag blessed to be able to spend more time with my kiddos, and i'm not negating that. i would willingly lay on the tracks for either one of them, but having them inserted in my anal cavity 24 hours a day is not my cup of tea. i hit a breaking point sometime last week when i heard "mommy" for the 3,384th time. i yelled, "CALL ME SOMETHING ELSSSSSE! ANYTHING!" ella has since started calling me "mama"...which has a better ring to it if you ask me. i am almost tempted to have them call me, like, madonna or betty sue or something. butch said, "why is ella calling you mama?" i shrugged my shoulders, but know my outburst had something to do with it. carrie still yells mommmEEEEE and enunciates the "E" for good measure. (she's awesome like that.) that night, i finally sat down on the couch at 7:42pm and heard my husband get out of the downstairs shower. (he was afraid to tell me he forgot a towel.) so instead of asking, fearing i may lose my last shit on him, he covered his balls with his dirty boxers and ran wet through the living room and up the stairs. (making eye contact with no one.) i looked at the kids, who were eyes wide, like what the hell just happened?!...and i could not stop laughing. for the record, i would've gotten him a towel, but what ended up happening was much more funny.
so i have one more week of being a professional snack maker (seriously, my kids eat snacks ALL DAMN DAY!), one week of beach vacation...and then i'm back to work. how the hell does the summer always go so fast? anyways, i'll have to jog my brain on how to do normal things like commute to work...and wear shoes. my husband will get one extra week at home solo with our little chickadees, so that could get a little dicey. if my patience level is at about a 7, he's at about a 2 most of the time with them. maybe he'll hit the point when he's heard "daddy" too many times and ask them to call him something else. i hope they choose something cooler like mick jagger or big papa. incidents like the conversation piece between constipation and crapping their pants i'm sure will continue to happen between sisters. it's things like this that make me question my sanity sometimes. (coaching each other through a crap?!) speaking of conversations about the commode, carrie has successfully started potty training! (well, the pee yes...the poop not yet.) therefore, the tour de shitter has now gone double time, as we visit every bathroom of every establishment we go to. today we went to tj maxx, so add that to the list of toilets i've seen in the greater annapolis area. i'm thinking about creating an app where parents can check in to the bathrooms and rate them. (good idea?) so onto another summer week of swimming, snack making, and hammock swinging. no worries, as stated before, i know that i am hashtag blessed...but it still doesn't mean i want to lose my shit every once in a while. betty sue...over and out.
Wednesday, July 22, 2015
simplicity
so i had an epiphany this past week and it is as follows: i have come to realize that the less your children need you...you start to need them more. it's a haunting realization, really, because when they are totally dependent on you as newborns...you can't wait for them to be able to do some stuff for themselves. (for instance, walk and talk.) then, when they enter into toddler hood and want to do everything themselves, it's kind of annoying (mainly cause it takes 32x longer to do everything.), but they still need your help. finally, when they are pretty self sufficient, as my 5 year old is, you start to miss them needing you for everything. (huh?) i mean, what a kick in the pants this progression is. never did i ever think i would "miss" this little person needing me to dress her. never did i ever think i would "miss" that newborn baby that was like a little leech. (a cute leech, i might add). never did i ever think that i would "miss" the moments where i wanted to pull out my hair because i didn't have one spare second to myself. but here i am...and i miss all of that and more. i think when things start getting easier like they are for me at this point, it is when you contemplate throwing another kid into the mix. i mean, i think about it daily now, even though my kids still need me for some stuff. although, i do think a third child would be a true conductor of mayhem (epic monkeywrench) in this household...and i'm not quite sure my marriage could even survive it. (just being honest.)
summertime makes me slow down and think about things in a different way. kids don't have jobs and responsibilities, so i can see where they are so thoughtful, inquisitive, and energetic all the time. as we get older, work sucks the life out of some of us. i love (love) what i do, but during the summer i truly feel like a kid again. i feel refreshed, renewed, and have time to think about revelations like the aforementioned needy progression of parenthood. i recently went on a little beach excursion and while there collected a cup of stones and shells for my kids. when i brought it home, they acted as if it was gold. well, they don't really understand the value of money...but they acted as if i brought something of enormous value to them, when all i did was scoop some stuff out of the sea. i watched out the window as they dumped it out on their little picnic table and started sorting them. their tiny fingers making two different piles, one of shells and one of stones. they ran their hands over each treasure and i could see them talking about each one. when i walked outside, they fought to describe each thing to me using color words and other adjectives that would make any author proud. as i sat there listening to them, i thought, here we are in the heat of the summer and these two are simply enraptured by objects i brought them from nature. my point is...kids don't need a lot of stuff to be happy. their happiness comes from their sense of wonder. ella made up a whole story about a creature that used to live in one of the shells and now lives in an even bigger house in the sea. carrie listened like it was the best story she ever heard, laughing as her big sister's imagination came to life. later, they decorated one of our garden boxes with their gifts.
i think as we get older, we need a lot more to be happy. (at least that's how i feel). we convince ourselves that we don't have enough money, a big enough house, or just enough...stuff. what if we could get as excited as my kids did about that cup of shells and stones? (would that be enough?) my children are getting older every minute. ella is pretty much a little person now and can do alotta things for herself, not to mention she starts school in a month. however, she hit milestones much quicker than her sister. carrie took longer to walk (14 months, opposed to ella's 9 months), longer to talk (3 years, as opposed to ella's 2), and a had longer time to be my baby. now that she has started talking fluently, she is turning into a little person right before my eyes. she's not a baby anymore and that makes me very sad. i remember thinking how torturous that first year was and how exhausted i was with both kids. that stuff seems like a distant memory, as sleep has finally returned to my routine. i will say, though, that being home with my kids most days this summer makes me think that they are having some type of unspoken competition to see how many times they can say the word "mommy" in one day. (just sayin.) moreover, i know that my children will always need me...just in a more independent way. furthermore, they remind me everyday to make sure i find wonder and happiness in the little things...like shells and stones. they get equally excited about swimming pools and swings. simplicity in this life is underrated and sometimes it takes the perspective of a child for things to make the most sense. so in the midst of summer, it seems i have been schooled by my own offspring. lesson learned, little people. lesson learned.
summertime makes me slow down and think about things in a different way. kids don't have jobs and responsibilities, so i can see where they are so thoughtful, inquisitive, and energetic all the time. as we get older, work sucks the life out of some of us. i love (love) what i do, but during the summer i truly feel like a kid again. i feel refreshed, renewed, and have time to think about revelations like the aforementioned needy progression of parenthood. i recently went on a little beach excursion and while there collected a cup of stones and shells for my kids. when i brought it home, they acted as if it was gold. well, they don't really understand the value of money...but they acted as if i brought something of enormous value to them, when all i did was scoop some stuff out of the sea. i watched out the window as they dumped it out on their little picnic table and started sorting them. their tiny fingers making two different piles, one of shells and one of stones. they ran their hands over each treasure and i could see them talking about each one. when i walked outside, they fought to describe each thing to me using color words and other adjectives that would make any author proud. as i sat there listening to them, i thought, here we are in the heat of the summer and these two are simply enraptured by objects i brought them from nature. my point is...kids don't need a lot of stuff to be happy. their happiness comes from their sense of wonder. ella made up a whole story about a creature that used to live in one of the shells and now lives in an even bigger house in the sea. carrie listened like it was the best story she ever heard, laughing as her big sister's imagination came to life. later, they decorated one of our garden boxes with their gifts.
Friday, July 3, 2015
wisdom
the next thing i know, i was slowly waking up to the sound of my husband's voice. after being scared to open my eyes for a minute, i realized i was not in the exam chair...i was in butch's lazy boy in our living room. (how the hell did i get here!?) i sat up and said, "where are the girls?" he said, "they are napping, don't you remember coming home?" i said no. he laughed his head off and said, "well look at THIS!" showing me the video. (shit.) i said, "how can i not remember walking out of the place or anything!?" he said, "you were really out of it and you kept interrupting the receptionist when she was giving instructions to me about your recovery." i yelped, "what did i say!?" he went on, "well...you kept telling her your mouth tasted like the sahara desert and that you were hungry for a cheeseburger and stuff. she was amused." he said once i was strapped in the car (and after the video) i started telling him about a "short cut" i knew to get back to our town from the doctor's office...and HE FOLLOWED MY DIRECTIONS. to be clear, i was just a minute ago talking about being married to eminem and then he thought it was a good idea to follow my driving directions?? he said, "well i sort of knew where i was, so i thought you might be right. you were." (holy hell.) then, he stopped at sweet frog to get me some frozen yogurt for lunch, came back out to find me head back, mouth open and passed the hell out again.
after we got home, he transported me to the lazy boy and that was that. to be clear, i have no recollection of any of that (at all.) i mean, it's kind of scary how that works. they knock you out and then, like, 4 hours later you wake up in a lazy boy and remember nothing? (wtf.) after waking up, i devoured the sweet frog and sat there thinking about how much my mouth hurt. however, i must say that this drug induced coma was probably the best sleep i have had probably since my first born made her appearance on this earth. i was dead to the world and quite honestly, a bulldozer could have come through the bay window and i wouldn't have noticed. speaking of bulldozers, one of the instructions on the discharge sheet was to not drive heavy machinery (such as a bulldozer)...or operate power tools. at the previous appointment i said to the doctor, "you mean i can't go home and fire up my chainsaw after the procedure!?" he laughed his head off and said, "no you cannot." (well we will just see about that after you said i can't have any coffee.) later last night i sent warren on his merry way for some guy time. after i put the girls down to bed, i enjoyed a bubble bath, read some of my book, had full reign of netflix, and ate ben and jerry's. as i sat there, i thought, "holy hell, i should've done this wisdom tooth thing sooner!" (no shit.) while in my sedentary mode, i was scrolling through my phone and found that awful selfie i took in the car. upon discovering it, i laughed hysterically.
so through this experience i have learned (once again) about the importance of laughing at yourself. (wisdom from the extraction of my wisdom teeth? ok then.) moreover, it's okay to take a narcissistic selfie when you are feeling sassy, but don't forget to snap one when you are at your worst. furthermore, i realized just how much a little makeup and a cup of coffee can change my day for the better. finally, having someone on your side that will laugh along with you and take video is equally important (even if it's not eminem.) in other news, i have scheduled my next tooth extraction for 2020. i figure i will get one tooth pulled every five years, just so i can can enjoy a well deserved bubble bath and ben and jerry's without interruption. (not really, but a girl can dream.) i know for sure in this life it is important to embrace your inner silliness. (sometimes, it's the only thing that keeps me going.) so when you feel like whipping out your chainsaw, instead find your sense of humor and stick to it. (you should never leave home without it.) if i teach my own children one thing in this life, i hope it is that. here's to a weekend filled with flags, adult beverages, ben and jerry's...and red, white, and blue. raising my glass to america, my freedom, and always holding fast to my sense of humor. sometimes, friends, it's the only way to survive.
Wednesday, June 24, 2015
dentist
so...i have a confession to make and it's kind of embarrassing, but i share everything else so why not this. here goes...with the exception of once last week, i haven't been to the dentist in 16 years. (SIXteen years.) although i am chock fulla excuses, this is what happened. i had an appointment to get my wisdom teeth out when i was seventeen and then got mono. (the kissing disease.) however, i didn't get the disease the fun way, i got it from someone else's water bottle at a soccer game in high school. (go figure.) so anyway, the appointment got cancelled, i soon went away to college, got a job, got married, birthed children...and my teeth took somewhat of a backseat. (priorities.) so flash forward 16 years and i was in a hotel room waking up from a wedding that took place two weeks ago...and i was in PAIN. my mouth, my jaw, even my ear was hurting at this point, and it wasn't being helped by the horrendous headache i had from imbibing in alcoholic beverages the night before. simply put, it felt like satan himself was shoving a firey sword into my gum and the side of my face. i rolled over and whined to warren, who was pretty much incoherent at this time. so i popped some advil and hoped when it wore off the pain would be magically gone. (it wasn't.)
welp, the pain did not subside...and it actually got worse. in the back of my mind, i knew a wisdom tooth was the culprit, but i was really nervous about going to the dentist. however, fen talked so highly of her dentist, that i decided to go there. my husband has a dentist, but fen went there originally and thinks that she's a total scammer. fen said the only reason warren goes there is because his dentist has big breasts and shoves them in his face. (for the love of...) so anyway, i decided to go with fen's dentist because she said, "he is super nice and reminds me of a friend we both had back home." (let's call him brent, because that's the friend that he reminds us of.) so i call brent's office and make an appointment with amy, the receptionist. the earliest i could get in was that thursday. from sunday to thursday i was basically like a spitting cobra. (so uncomfortable.) mouth pain is no joke. i was popping advil like eminem on oxycontin. (it was bad.) on thursday i walked in the office, still nervous, and basically it's a small house remodeled to be a dentist office. amy leaped up from her seat and said, "welcome to the practice!! here is the paperwork you need to fill out!" (shit. she's talking in exclamation points.) one of the questions on the paperwork was, "when is the last time you saw a dentist?" i wrote "1999...don't judge me" on the form and hoped for the best. afterwards, they handed me a "welcome gift" that included a reusable grocery bag...and a beer cozy embroidered with their namesake. (really.) meanwhile, fen is texting me furiously telling me i better let them know she referred me. (easy, fen.)
when i was done the paperwork, i stood up to hand it in and another girl (i didn't catch her name) said i would be going on a tour and then to my exam room. (a tour?!) the house could have been made for goldilocks (so small), so there i was basically standing in a short hallway as she was pointing to each room. (a tour.) after the tour was over (took about 2 minutes), she settled me in the exam chair. a few seconds later our high school friend lookalike walked in behind her. brent exclaimed, "so it seems we have a JOKESTER on our hands!" (i was confused.) he went on..."don't worry, i'm not judging you about the last time you were at the dentist!" (oh that.) we talked about my mouth for a while and then he did the exam. he said...let me ask you something, "do you eat a lot of popcorn?" i said, "yes...and i like to eat a lot of nuts. i like nuts." he looked up from his clipboard with one eye and smirked. (jesus christ.) i mean..."i eat almonds almost everyday." he said while smiling, "got it." i recently told a coworker about this convo and she said, "shit, you eat sausage for lunch and nuts, too...go butch!" (then she threw her head back and laughed.) brent talked in all this dental mumbo jumbo for a while about my teeth and then sent me with the technician to get a panoramic x-ray of my grill. they asked me if i might be pregnant (um no.)...and then told me to stand still and bite down on this stick. the camera whirred around my head like a spaceship and i was standing there feeling kind of stupid. then the nice lady sent me back to my chair and they projected a picture of my teeth up on a big tv screen in the room. this is what i saw:
so...he starts with, "nothing out of the ordinary here, except when we see this." he pointed to the bottom left tooth and said, "this is what is causing you the pain." i turned my head completely sideways and said, "is that...my wisdom tooth!?...why the hell did it grow that way?!" he smiled, shrugged his shoulders, and said, "it got lazy." now hold the goddamn phone here...i have heard of lazy eyes and shit...but a lazy TOOTH!? am i in the twilight zone? after some laughter and brent telling me his life story, he explained the history of wisdom teeth to me. (that happened.) he also handed over a referral for an oral surgeon and told me to come back after the extraction of my four teeth had healed. he said (and i quote), "...and don't just use me for the referral, come back for a cleaning and stuff. i mean, it's been SIXTEEN YEARS...it's time." (i said don't judge me, dude.) alright, so i come home and tell butch the whole story and he thinks this surgery is going to be comparable to a recent root canal he's had. (just no.) it's like the time that he compared childbirth to his hernia surgery. listen, pal, if you suddenly house 2 human beings for almost a year and then violently shoot them out of your fun place...we can talk turkeys. until then, do not compare ANYTHING you went through to childbirth. (you will lose.)
so anyway, i scheduled the surgery to happen soon...and i'm scared as shit. as stated above, i had two kids come out of my lady parts, but i think i'm more scared for this surgery. (does that even make sense!?) i also told my husband i've never been sedated before and i'm worried i won't wake up. he told me (rightfully so) to stop being so dramatic. suddenly, though, in my early thirties i realize that i need to make my teeth a priority. with the recent addition of not one but TWO blow up pools and a trampoline to our backyard, we are dipping dangerously close to hillbilly deluxe status. if i start losing teeth, i'll complete the package deal. i'm guessing i'm not the only person in the world that is kinda afraid of the dentist, however, i'm glad i went with fen's suggestion...and went with brent over butch's big breasted lady. i'm curious as to what treats the oral surgeon's office holds on monday for my consultation. (another beer cozy, perhaps?) i'll be sure not to mention to the oral surgeon gene that i like to eat nuts. (son of a...) meanwhile, i will be relaxing with my lazy tooth, boxed wine in hand, as my two little redneck ladies swim in their highly luxurious inflatable pool in the backyard. (holy hillbillies, man!) embracing the fact that i'm welcoming this summer with the experience of going to the dentist for the first time in 16 years, then soon after getting my wisdom teeth extracted as an adult...i mean, it can only get better from here. satan and his firey mouth sword are surely no match for me. summer here we come.
welp, the pain did not subside...and it actually got worse. in the back of my mind, i knew a wisdom tooth was the culprit, but i was really nervous about going to the dentist. however, fen talked so highly of her dentist, that i decided to go there. my husband has a dentist, but fen went there originally and thinks that she's a total scammer. fen said the only reason warren goes there is because his dentist has big breasts and shoves them in his face. (for the love of...) so anyway, i decided to go with fen's dentist because she said, "he is super nice and reminds me of a friend we both had back home." (let's call him brent, because that's the friend that he reminds us of.) so i call brent's office and make an appointment with amy, the receptionist. the earliest i could get in was that thursday. from sunday to thursday i was basically like a spitting cobra. (so uncomfortable.) mouth pain is no joke. i was popping advil like eminem on oxycontin. (it was bad.) on thursday i walked in the office, still nervous, and basically it's a small house remodeled to be a dentist office. amy leaped up from her seat and said, "welcome to the practice!! here is the paperwork you need to fill out!" (shit. she's talking in exclamation points.) one of the questions on the paperwork was, "when is the last time you saw a dentist?" i wrote "1999...don't judge me" on the form and hoped for the best. afterwards, they handed me a "welcome gift" that included a reusable grocery bag...and a beer cozy embroidered with their namesake. (really.) meanwhile, fen is texting me furiously telling me i better let them know she referred me. (easy, fen.)
when i was done the paperwork, i stood up to hand it in and another girl (i didn't catch her name) said i would be going on a tour and then to my exam room. (a tour?!) the house could have been made for goldilocks (so small), so there i was basically standing in a short hallway as she was pointing to each room. (a tour.) after the tour was over (took about 2 minutes), she settled me in the exam chair. a few seconds later our high school friend lookalike walked in behind her. brent exclaimed, "so it seems we have a JOKESTER on our hands!" (i was confused.) he went on..."don't worry, i'm not judging you about the last time you were at the dentist!" (oh that.) we talked about my mouth for a while and then he did the exam. he said...let me ask you something, "do you eat a lot of popcorn?" i said, "yes...and i like to eat a lot of nuts. i like nuts." he looked up from his clipboard with one eye and smirked. (jesus christ.) i mean..."i eat almonds almost everyday." he said while smiling, "got it." i recently told a coworker about this convo and she said, "shit, you eat sausage for lunch and nuts, too...go butch!" (then she threw her head back and laughed.) brent talked in all this dental mumbo jumbo for a while about my teeth and then sent me with the technician to get a panoramic x-ray of my grill. they asked me if i might be pregnant (um no.)...and then told me to stand still and bite down on this stick. the camera whirred around my head like a spaceship and i was standing there feeling kind of stupid. then the nice lady sent me back to my chair and they projected a picture of my teeth up on a big tv screen in the room. this is what i saw:
so anyway, i scheduled the surgery to happen soon...and i'm scared as shit. as stated above, i had two kids come out of my lady parts, but i think i'm more scared for this surgery. (does that even make sense!?) i also told my husband i've never been sedated before and i'm worried i won't wake up. he told me (rightfully so) to stop being so dramatic. suddenly, though, in my early thirties i realize that i need to make my teeth a priority. with the recent addition of not one but TWO blow up pools and a trampoline to our backyard, we are dipping dangerously close to hillbilly deluxe status. if i start losing teeth, i'll complete the package deal. i'm guessing i'm not the only person in the world that is kinda afraid of the dentist, however, i'm glad i went with fen's suggestion...and went with brent over butch's big breasted lady. i'm curious as to what treats the oral surgeon's office holds on monday for my consultation. (another beer cozy, perhaps?) i'll be sure not to mention to the oral surgeon gene that i like to eat nuts. (son of a...) meanwhile, i will be relaxing with my lazy tooth, boxed wine in hand, as my two little redneck ladies swim in their highly luxurious inflatable pool in the backyard. (holy hillbillies, man!) embracing the fact that i'm welcoming this summer with the experience of going to the dentist for the first time in 16 years, then soon after getting my wisdom teeth extracted as an adult...i mean, it can only get better from here. satan and his firey mouth sword are surely no match for me. summer here we come.
Thursday, June 18, 2015
cupcakes
so three monumental things are happening all this week with my first born. to begin, on monday she attended her last day ever with the at home babysitter she has had since birth. secondly, she turned 5 (FIVE!) on tuesday. lastly, she will graduate (cue commencement music) from preschool tomorrow. all three things make me profoundly happy and profoundly sad...all at the same time. i remember thinking when she was a baby that i had to take her to a sitter for 5 whole years before she would start school, and thinking about that then...it seemed like an eternity. motherhood caught me off guard in lots of ways, but just the sheer amount of attention and time newborns take up threw me for a loop in the beginning. plus, having a newborn and a full time job was daunting. i remember being TERRIFIED the first day i went back to work. i remember hoping i made sure i packed every last thing in the diaper bag, that she had adequate formula, that she wouldn't miss me too much during the day. i remember her screaming in the car that first time i had to wake her and take her to the sitter...and i remember sitting in the car crying that morning thinking about how i wanted to just quit my job and stay at home with her instead. just as suddenly as these things overwhelmed me, they passed just as quickly. here i am 5 years later with a near future kindergartner and i can't believe it.
when carrie came into the mix, i felt like i had things down pat. (using that loosely) i had two years under my belt by that time, but what i didn't expect was how much more WORK it would be to have two. one seems like a cake walk compared to two. three? three sounds like a nightmare in my book...when they start to out number you, you are in a shit ton of trouble. anyways, each progressive year, things got faster and faster and now that things are easier in a lot of ways...i really just want time to slow down. ella said to me monday in the car, "i can't WAIT to be five tomorrow! i can't WAIT!" i said, "what's so great about five that you couldn't do at four?" she said, "i can go to kindergarten." (touche.)....and "i won't be afraid of bugs anymore." (okay then.) however, do you remember being a kid and always wishing for the next big birthday? (i do.) i remember being 8 and couldn't wait to be 10. 10 and couldn't wait to be 13. 13 and couldn't wait to be 16. it went that way until i was 21...and then the "couldn't wait" for the next year stopped happening. i mean, i still enjoyed my birthdays, but i never said, "i CAN'T WAIT to be 33!" (oh hell no.) so as ella enters year 5 of her life, i want her to know she can and should wait for the next years to come, because they will come far too fast and she will be suddenly missing memories that she never thought she'd miss. (or maybe that's just me)
furthermore, being around children (my own and my school kids) all the time is something i never take for granted. i believe it keeps me young in a lot of ways and i often question when we lose that sense of excitement and wonder with the world. for example, i took ella to school with me on her birthday to hang out with other 5 and 6 year olds who were celebrating field day. the kids went through 7 different relay races (including the potato sack!) and the joy and laughter throughout the morning was just awesome. (even in 90 degree heat!) the night before, ella helped me make cupcakes (move over betty crocker) to share with the kids at school. she said, "i want blue cupcakes with orange icing." (wtf?) i said okay. as she and carrie helped me bake, each part of the process was like mind blowing for them. from pouring the oil to cracking the eggs, it was all exciting. finally, they were my taste testers and i haven't heard them that quiet all week. (silence and shoving them in their mouths.) as she was licking her lips she said simply, "cupcakes make me happy." (her little sister shook her head) then, when i broke these bad boys out at school, the kids lost their minds. have you ever seen kids around cupcakes!? (they go apeshit.) anyways, they sang happy birthday to her with gusto and then they dug in. each one made it a point to tell me how good they were. i'm not going to quit my day job or anything, but it cost me $4.79 to make 24 cupcakes, my kids helped, and it was EASY. i ended up making 24 more the next night for her preschool (pink this time, as per her request.) look at me...being all domestic and shit.
so as ella graduates from preschool tomorrow and i wrap up my own school year...it is bittersweet. never did i think that i would be sad that i don't have to take her to the sitter anymore. never did i think i would be sad upon her turning five. never did i think i would be sad she was graduating preschool. i will miss little things like hearing her little voice conversing with her sister in the backseat of the car in the morning. hearing her say she "couldn't wait!" to be five made me remember what it felt like to be a kid and wishing for more years. seeing her posing in a cap a gown made me realize just how fast these years are flying and will continue to fly. before i know it, she will be graduating from high school in a cap and gown and who knows what the hell i will be writing about by then. (probably gray hair and saggy boobs.) when i was in the depths of newborn hell and headed into the reign of toddler terror with both kids, i didn't realize then just how quickly that time would pass. here i am with a three and a five year old little girls that are rapidly turning into young ladies, and things are so much easier than they were a few short years ago. i can breathe again, but suddenly (and randomly) become sad about the babies that are left behind. i am reminded this week to enjoy each laugh, cherish each (horrible) harmonica serenade, and hold dear the memories that these kids have given me over the past 5 years. most importantly, to remember to find joy in something as simple as a cupcake...because sometimes in life that's all you really need to be happy.
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| the day we brought her home from the hospital. |
furthermore, being around children (my own and my school kids) all the time is something i never take for granted. i believe it keeps me young in a lot of ways and i often question when we lose that sense of excitement and wonder with the world. for example, i took ella to school with me on her birthday to hang out with other 5 and 6 year olds who were celebrating field day. the kids went through 7 different relay races (including the potato sack!) and the joy and laughter throughout the morning was just awesome. (even in 90 degree heat!) the night before, ella helped me make cupcakes (move over betty crocker) to share with the kids at school. she said, "i want blue cupcakes with orange icing." (wtf?) i said okay. as she and carrie helped me bake, each part of the process was like mind blowing for them. from pouring the oil to cracking the eggs, it was all exciting. finally, they were my taste testers and i haven't heard them that quiet all week. (silence and shoving them in their mouths.) as she was licking her lips she said simply, "cupcakes make me happy." (her little sister shook her head) then, when i broke these bad boys out at school, the kids lost their minds. have you ever seen kids around cupcakes!? (they go apeshit.) anyways, they sang happy birthday to her with gusto and then they dug in. each one made it a point to tell me how good they were. i'm not going to quit my day job or anything, but it cost me $4.79 to make 24 cupcakes, my kids helped, and it was EASY. i ended up making 24 more the next night for her preschool (pink this time, as per her request.) look at me...being all domestic and shit.
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