family

when i woke up this morning, i was laying on my side and carrie's blonde baby head was ever so gently nestled...between my breasts. her feet were lounging on my husband's...esophagus. she was completely perpendicular to both of us, and seemed very comfortable. (i was not comfortable.) alas, yet another wake up call from her at 4am led her to our bed. it's always a rare treat when that happens because suddenly you are laying with a 25 pounder that has no regard for other people's body parts. (balls and breasts are never safe.) i have no idea how people "co-sleep" with their kids. i know a few families that do this nightly and i can't wrap my head around it. i'm guessing that it gets easier...but in my house when it happens, it is far from easy. (it's absurd.) anyway, i woke up around 6am, but didn't want to wake her so i laid there and stared at the ceiling until she started moving around 8am. now, truth be told, if she was in her own crib for the night...she would've been up at the ass crack of dawn squawking at us from across the hall. i guess the warmth of my breasts and the lower body elevation from butch's esophagus lead her to a longer slumber. (joy.) my head was a little fuzzy when i "woke up" (using that loosely) and she just sat up, smiled, and acted like we have been sleeping like that for her whole life. (like it was the best thing ever.) newsflash sister...you are back in your own bed tonight.

our house has been quite full the past week. my husband's parents flew in from out of state and my parents and brothers arrived last night. although i despise traveling on thanksgiving, it's still a little crazy hosting everyone at our house. our home is a zoo most days of the week, but add a few extra family members into the mix and it's a full blown circus. strangely, this visit has been quite calm though. last year i was postpartum and dealing with the sleepless nights of a newborn, my mother was menopausal. turns out this is a lethal combination. at one point i snapped at her laying the sarcasm on quite thick and shortly after she disappeared. after about 15 minutes i said, "where's mom?" to my brother. he said, "she's upstairs crying in a room because you snapped at her." (oh my god.) so you see, lethal. a few days prior to this, my inlaws were watching my girls and my mother in law accidentally put boilo in ella's sippy cup. i got home from work and she said, "ella wouldn't really drink anything all day?!" i realized what happened and after knowing she didn't have alcohol poisoning, we all had a laugh. this is what the holidays are all about though, right? your family making you nuts? mine do a bang up job of this on a daily basis, so it's just an added bonus on the holidays. again, this year has been quiet, so i'm kinda wondering if it's just the calm before the storm. however, we have had a broken wine glass and my brother and husband are currently starting a fire (with gasoline) in the backyard...but these are just minor details.

this week, i asked my kids at school to tell me something that they were thankful for. i explained that when you are "thankful" for something you are really glad that you have it in your life. surprisingly, i expected them each to mention a toy or video game or something like that. they didn't. here is their list:

my favorite was mushrooms. (yes!) the little boy who shared this one said it with a dead straight face. i asked him why he was thankful for mushrooms and he said, "because they are just so good." (ok then.) i think we, as adults, can learn a lot from this list. when the first child said, "family." there was nothing but nods in agreeance and conversation about why they were all so thankful for their families. it actually turned into a full blown discussion. it was refreshing to hear. what it boils down to is this...parenthood isn't pretty, as this morning's wake up displayed. also, families are all different and made up of cast many different crazy characters. but through it all, your kids appreciate you. they appreciate you when they use your breasts as a pillow and they appreciate you when you accidentally put boilo in their sippy cup. they really just appreciate your presence. so today and everyday, i'm thankful for my family, for my kids, and also for simple things like mushrooms. (because they are just so good.) after three days of cooking, 43 pounds of butter, and countless bloody mary's...my house will soon resemble a morgue. (not much movement.) my work here is done. moreover, my heart and recycle bin are full...so i know it's definitely been a good week.

noodles

this week we are learning about the letter N in my classroom. on monday, we started by reading the story strega nona. if you aren't familiar with it, it is about an old woman in a town who is the source for cures, potions, comfort, and magic. she also owns a pot that can make noodles when she says a specific poem. so yesterday i decided to bring in my own "magic" pot and make some "magic" noodles of my own. on tuesday, we discussed the story and i told the kids that this aforementioned activity would be happening the next day. (gasps!) as they lined up outside of the classroom yesterday, i could hear a commotion in the hallway. when i walked out, i was bombarded with questions,"did you bring it!? did you bring your magic pot?! is it IN THERE!? " (pointing in the classroom) i told them that it was in on my desk and we would be using it during reading time. (high fives and giggles galore.) prior to them coming in the room, i ripped apart a bunch of packages of ramen noodles and broke them into the (magic) pot and put on the (clear) lid. they swarmed into the classroom like a bunch of anxious bees...and all buzzed to my desk. after telling them to slow down (sheesh!), i just listened to them discussing the pot of (10 cents a package) noodles. there were a billion oooos and ahhhhss...but mostly, their chatter was recalling information about the story that we read the previous day. (score!) plus, their excitement was palpable. (if i stuck out my tongue, i could taste it.)

my "magic" pot.

even as they all sat down and got started on their morning work, some kids wandered back to my desk to ask me questions...as they were standing there, each was eyeballing that pot as if it really had magic powers. (awesome.) as we worked our way through our carpet time, calendar work, and reading some sentences on the board...i must've been asked no less than 234 times when we were going to "do the noodles." so finally, after i completed the "mandated" curriculum worksheets with them...we got down to business. i borrowed a single burner from a colleague and i slowly poured water over our noodles. (adding a little long pour/short pour action for good measure.) during this time, i had someone retell the story in their own words and another student give a summary. we talked about the characters, the plot, and the setting. then, i put on the lid and told the kids they could stand on their chairs. (they loved this.) they all raised their little arms and put their hands toward the pot and recited the same magic saying (oral language skills!) that strega nona did in the story to get the noodles to boil. (most had it memorized.) i swear to you, they truly believed that their words were going to make that (calphalon) pot full of (ramen) noodles boil. they believed it down to their very being. while we waited for the pot to boil, we went back to the carpet and i read them another story entitled the magic porridge pot.  same story, told in a different way. (porridge vs. pasta) then, we discussed how the two stories were alike and how they were different...we made a venn diagram to show this. they we graphed our favorite story. (more math.) however, when the pot finally started to boil, they lost all control and i lost all of their attention. (i had anticipated this.)

i seriously thought half of them were going to pee their pants and the other half were going to pass out. (they. were. pumped.) as the steam rose up into the classroom, i lifted the lid and the noodles were nearly to the top. in the story, strega nona recites a different poem to make the noodles stop boiling...but it doesn't stop until she blows three kisses at it after she recites it. (part of her magic.) so again, they all stood on their chairs, arms raised, hands toward the pot...and repeated the magic poem to get the pot to stop. (i discreetly turned the burner off.) i then told them they we were going to eat the noodles! (cheers all around!) as i walked back to my desk to get the bowls and forks, i heard one of my students yell..."BUT MRS. S! WE FORGOT TO BLOW THE THREE KISSES!!" gasps filled the room, one kid screamed, another almost started crying...because in the story, one of strega nona's workers steals her pot and says the magic words, but forgets to blow the three kisses. the noodles kept flowing out of the pot because of the this and they covered the town. (the kids were legitimately worried.) i saved it by saying, "everyone, quick! get back on your chairs and let's blow the three kisses before the noodles cover the classroom!!" (i do this stuff with a straight face. i have to be believable, people.) they all hopped up on their chairs and we blew the three kisses at the pot (that i got as a wedding gift). one kid then yelped, "WHEW! that was CLOSE." (HAHA!) while they were eating, i did a shared descriptive writing activity. they had to give me words to describe the noodles. (they did awesome.) they blurted out "salty!, good!, yummy!, stringy!, delicious!, hot!" i wrote these words down on a giant bowl of noodles that i had drawn on the board. we sounded out the words and talked about each one.

at the close of this lesson, most of the kids were sad it was over. (as was i, it's one of my favorites.) however, i'm sharing this story for another reason. it seems at the moment there is huge controversy about "the common core." basically, it's a new trend that is taking over education and it is trying to reinvent the wheel. just know this...i do what is expected slash required of me in the classroom. i follow the common core as much as i can. i sit through staff meetings and trainings about this new nonsense. i read literature on it. i do the required  paperwork and worksheets with my students. however, at the heart of it all...i have one goal. my goal is to teach my students in a way that they will learn and make sure they have fun while doing so. i want them to be excited about school, about learning, about the letter N! i want them to walk in feeling as excited as they did yesterday and have them leave knowing they have learned something. sure, i (merely) made a pot of ramen noodles...but as you see from my story, it was so much more than that. i didn't see "ramen noodles 101" in my curriculum framework, i didn't read about it in a learning map, it wasn't part of my pacing schedule...i just know that at the end of the day, that they would gain auditory and visual recognition about the letter N (noodles from nona!) in a fun and exciting way. (goal met.) i just hope that as my own child (ella) enters kindergarten in 2 years (gulp.)...that she has a teacher that can look beyond such things as the common core and state standards. a teacher that can think outside the box, a teacher that can cover what she has to, but that can give the kids what they need...a teacher that will make magic noodles for the sake of the letter N.

most teachers have the same mentality as me. (trust me.) i work with some awesome (awesome) teachers and know even more of these individuals personally. we care about your kids and we want them to succeed. we get annoyed with trendy waves such as common core and do what we see fit while in the confines of our classroom as much as we can. i didn't mention that at the end of this lesson, i had a child that wasn't feeling well and vomited a full belly of noodles all over my boots. (oh boy.) as i cleaned up his hands, face, and shirt (and sent him to the nurse), the other students (who were not vomiting) were drawing pictures of their favorite part of the noodle lesson. (art integration). today i had at least half of the kids ask when we were going to, "make the noodles again" i explained that this ship has sailed and we weren't going to make anymore noodles anytime soon. (booooooo.) however, i do have another teacher trick up my sleeve for tomorrow! after our (required) worksheets, we will be making noodle necklaces! (really driving home that N sound.) i dyed noodles tonight using rubbing alcohol and food coloring and they are going to sit and string them up. i will encourage them to use patterns (math!) and this is also an awesome activity to help with fine motor skills. sounds so simple right? noodle necklaces? well every year, they lose their minds. i wish i could get excited about anything as much as they get excited about noodle necklaces. so at the end of this week, i know a couple of things for sure: i know that my students have met our weekly state standard by gaining auditory and visual recognition of the letter N and i also know they have acquired and practiced many (many) other skills in the process...but not without the help of ramen noodles, strega nona, and noodle necklaces. take that, common core. i win.

teething

up until this point in her 17 months on this earth, carrie has only cut 8 teeth. so naturally, on the eve before butch leaves for a week she has decided to cut....the rest of them. (i swear, like all of them.) the past three nights she has been up in the middle of the the night and ended up in our bed. she is as miserable as cat piss and wants us to pay for her pain. plus, she also has had a virus which has given her an added high fever to boot. (the past couple of days have been a lot of fun.) friday night, i woke up to her screaming across the hall and after questioning (once again) my choice to procreate...i went and got her. shortly after, i must have fallen back to sleep and i woke up at some ungodly hour to this:  i was on my stomach and i quickly realized that she was comfortably laying on her stomach as well...on top of my BACK. her chubby little legs were straddled around my neck. if there would've been poop in her pants, i would've had a front row seat to the shit show. (literally.) i didn't want to wake her up, but what the hell was she doing? am i your mother or am i a goddamn jungle gym? she's at least 25 pounds and she was lounging on me like a lady of leisure. i carefully pulled her off of me...and she woke up. (dammit.) at that point all hell broke loose. i thought for sure her head was going to spin around like the girl from the exorcist and pea soup was going to come spewing out of her mouth. throughout this whole charade, butch was soundly sleeping next to me. (he didn't move, scratch his ass, break wind...nothing.) luckily my motor skills were compromised due to lack of sleep, because a swift shot to the scrotum was definitely in order.

anyway, i do know that ella was also a late teether...but i really don't remember her acting like a mini hannibal lecter.  however, it might just be one of those parenting things that get conveniently erased from your brain. kinda like the pain involved in child birth, or the constant sleepless nights when they are a newborn, or the tyranny in the terrible twos. i don't think remember any of these things being that awful...but i know damn well when i was knee deep in these shitty phases, i wasn't a happy camper. things they don't tell you in the parenting books #287...when your one year old gets teeth, you will want to throw yourself off of the nearest overpass. i'm running on only a couple hours of sleep from the past couple of nights and spent my saturday morning at urgent care, just to make sure the fever wasn't due to an ear infection. (it wasn't.) my whole weekend has been spent taking care of a pint sized person that can't do anything to take care of herself. i went out with my brother (who was visiting) last night and felt like an animal let out of a cage. you know the scene in braveheart when he yells, "they may take our lives, but they will never take our FREEEEDOOOMMMM!"? that was me last night. (minus the armor.) however, i was so damn tired that my "freedom" didn't last that long. (it never does.) i tapped out after only an hour and let my husband enjoy his freedom for a while. when i heard squawks from across the hall around 2am, i seriously wanted to take a sword and sever my own head. instead, i snuggled my scorching hot, swollen mouthed, second born until she went back to sleep. i slipped in and out of slumber the rest of the night, and woke up feeling like a sack of shit.

i'm hoping that her chompers come through soon and her virus slips away. like the doctor said, it will just have to run it's course. i die a little inside when this is the diagnosis, because you never know how long the course is going to be or how painful it's path will make you. no worries though, when it finally runs it's course through carrie...she will graciously pass the baton to ella who will probably start with a fever mid week. butch is heading to the mountains of western maryland tomorrow on a week long field trip with his middle school students. (perfect timing.) in my mind, these trips have to be like a vacation to him...but he tries to convince me otherwise. i know damn well what goes on in our house on a daily basis, pal. heading out to the woods with a bunch of kids that are capable of wiping their own asses and have all their teeth intact? piece of cake. i'm just wondering what other tricks my one year old will have up her onesie sleeve. i'm sure ella will throw some other nonsense into the mix as well. children are born monkey wrenches and they love to shake up the show. the hard part sometimes is finding balance. although i felt like a walking asshole this afternoon, i laced up my sneakers, mustered up the last ounce of energy (and sanity) i had left...and went for a run. i've come to realize exercise is crucial to my mental well being. (bacon and booze help, too.) the week ahead seems daunting, but knowing other parents are going through the same things is comforting. (misery loves company.) i snapped the included picture today during carrie's most recent crying jag. at the end of the day you need to find your sense of humor, otherwise you will be looking for the nearest sword... to sever your own head. so fellow parents, please also choose to laugh instead of decapitate yourself, because i believe it's better for everyone involved...especially for the needy little creatures we've created.

random

i'm jumping on the bandwagon and i'm posting 20 random things you may not know about me. here. we. go.

1. i have an intense fear of flying. however, i have been on a plane before. (once. when i was 6.) i hope to overcome this fear sometime soon so that i can go places. i've missed family trips to australia, the virgin islands, and several states destinations due to this nonsense. i'm not afraid to die, but i am afraid to fly.

2. i went to college for two years at shippensburg university and then decided i needed a change. i decided i wanted to go to new england to go to school. i enrolled at roger williams university in rhode island and went there for a semester. i wigged out and moved home shortly after. i often wonder how my life would be different had i stayed there.

3. i've known since 2nd grade that i wanted to be a teacher. however, i went into college with an undeclared major, switched to communications, and ended up not declaring my major to teaching until i returned to shippensburg, after my rendezvous with rhode island.

4. i don't like needles (at all), but at senior week i got my belly button pierced. it got infected that fall and my college roommate had to pull it out with a pliers. shortly after, i got my tongue pierced. i forgot i had to do a persuasive speech in a class the next day. my tongue was swollen and i gave the whole thing while drooling, with an awesome added lisp. ps. i wasn't very persuasive.

5. i always thought i wanted to have 5 children. now that i have two, i feel like it's enough. i love my kids, but goddamnit they are a lot of work. (however, i haven't ruled out a 3rd...but not for a coupla years.)

6. being a mother is by far the hardest thing i've ever had to do. childbirth was my most epic life event to date.

7. i've grew up in a super small town with big hearted people. although i miss small town living, i now can't imagine living anywhere but maryland.

8. my first car was a used 1995 BMW 5 series. my sophomore year of college butch and i drove this car to california and back. we took 3 weeks, $1000 dollars each...and a tent. one of the best experiences of my life and sometimes i wish i could do again.

9. when i accepted my first teaching job, the principal offered me either a kindergarten or 5th grade position. i took the kindergarten position...because i feared the 5th graders would all be taller than me. i now know that is my niche and will probably finish out the next 22 years teaching 5 year olds. i love it.

10. in high school i lost a very close friend in a tragic hiking accident. it changed me in a lot of ways. many years after,  i married his best friend and our first child was born 11 years later on the exact day that he died.

11. i believe everything happens for a reason. i don't think we meet people by accident and i believe individuals come in and out of our lives on an as needed basis. i believe in god and have given the sermon at my hometown church. more than once.

12. i'm glad that i grew up with two brothers and never wished i had a sister. moreover, i always pictured myself having boys, rather than little ladies. this being said, it kind of terrifies me to see how the dynamic between my own two girls will play out over the next couple of years.

13. i like my showers, my soup, and my coffee all the same way. scalding hot. if it doesn't give me third degree burns or scorch my tongue...it's not hot enough.

14. i eat bacon almost everyday.

15. my grandmother was one of the most influential people in my life. she used to send me handwritten letters weekly and i saved a bunch of them. i read them when i'm missing her.

16. i like to hear people's stories and when i talk to people, i ask a lot of questions. i'm not nosey...just curious. people have a tendancy to overshare when talking to me...and i'm okay with that. conversely, i overshare with people and i always tell people how i feel about them.

17. i want to live at the beach someday, and i believe i most likely will.

18. along with the flying fear, i have a fear of people choking. i once had to perform the heimlich maneuver on a student and afterwards i had so much adrenaline pumping through my system i almost passed out.

19.  i don't watch the news. ever. maybe that makes me an ignorant person, but i really don't care. half of the stuff on there is depressing and the other half is nonsense. no thanks.

20. i love to read books and write often. even though i am typically a loud person, the library is one of my most favorite places.

in conclusion, if you gained anything from this list...it should be this: if i was flying on a plane and someone choked on their chewing gum, i would stroke the hell out and probably be escorted out in handcuffs post landing. pretty awesome.

laughing

i go to bed early every night, but somehow i still feel like dog shit every morning at 5:30am when i have to get up. (literally, like dog shit.) as i made my way into the bathroom, my husband was just getting out of the shower. his first words to me? "guess. what. day. it. is?" (quoting the geico camel, naturally.) i don't know what goes on at your place of business on a wednesday, but there is usually one jackass walking around quoting that commercial. (i'm usually that jackass.) however, i've spoken before about my dislike for doing normal things (such as talking) in the morning...so i just stared at him. i know damn well he wanted me to yell, "HUMMMPPP DAYYYYYY!" but i wasn't going there. anyway, i reluctantly put myself together, slapped on some makeup, and went down to the kitchen. i saw him making a turkey sandwich for his lunch. i breezed by him and all of a sudden he started singing the turkey song by adam sandler. (turkey for me, turkey for you, i eat my turkey in a big brown shoe!) i whipped around and squawked, "REALLY? i'm in no mood." he replied, "well i can tell...just judging by the way you let the F bomb fly at the dog upstairs!" i did, in fact, let the f bomb fly at the dog. i love my dog, but goddamnit she is like an enema. wherever i am, she has to be. (inserted in my anus.) if it's not one of my kids up my ass, it's her. i nearly tripped over her getting ready and i said, "GET THE EFF OUT OF HERE!!!" (i didn't say eff.) butch went on..."it was pure rage." (this made me laugh.) apparently 5:30am is too early to let the F bomb fly. (my apologies.)

usually in the afternoon, i am much more pleasant to deal with. i can do normal things like talk...and tolerate such nonsense as the turkey song. however, yesterday afternoon warren decided to throw a curve ball. he had a half day of work and the children were napping at the sitter, so i just told him i would pick them up after work as usual. he then texted me to let me he was going to the movie theatre. by himself. to see some weird fantasy slash scifi movie (nerd.) i went on to tell him that he was a nerd, but it was his time so he could do whatever he wanted with it. when he got home from his date with himself, i asked him if there were any other creepy guys by themselves at the theatre with him on a tuesday afternoon. he stated, "lots." (oh good.) as i was making dinner, he was behind me opening the mail. i heard him gasp. (loudly.) i turned around and his eyes were as big as saucers, bugging out of his head. i said calmly, "what." he said (and i quote), "i WON a FREE tablet!!" i said, "for what." he gleefully stated, "um, i dunno...for being awesome i guess?!" (yeah, that's it.) he said, "BUT THAT'S NOT ALL FOLKS! I ALSO WON A FREE $100 GIFT CARD for dinner!" i saw what he had in his hand and it was definitely junk mail, but i didn't want to burst his bubble just yet, so i said..."are you going to call the number on it?" before i got the question out of my mouth he was in the other room on the phone.

i could hear him answering questions. "yes. married. two. home owner." (employed? single or married? kids? rent or own?) when he started giving his full name i yelled, "butch, don't get DUPED!" to which i heard him run up the steps away from me so that i was out of earshot. (dear god.) i continued to make dinner, while ella and carrie played (slash fought) in the living room, the dog was sitting right next to the stove staring at me, plotting another adventure up my anus i'm sure. about 15 minutes later he came downstairs. he was all aglow. he said excitedly, "so look! here's the deal! WE have to go there to pick it up." i said, "what do you mean "WE"?" he stated, "well, the lady said we BOTH have to be there, and we can even take the kids! it's like a warehouse that sells discounted electronics and they want to give us the tour before they give us the free stuff." i said, "does anything about what you just said sound a little sketchy to you!?" he looked flabbergasted, "YOU MEAN YOU AREN'T GOING TO GO!?" i said, "hell no i'm not going to go!!! and take the KIDS? are you CRAZY?!" he just stared at me like i was from outerspace, so i went on. "so they want us to come to some WAREHOUSE to claim our free tablet and free gift card?? um NO, butch...they really want us to come so that they can steal our children who are perfectly suitable for the black market and then cut out our adult livers to sell on CRAIGSLIST. that's what they want to do!" (i was irate.)

he started laughing (like an assclown), but then said, "i'm going." (he was suddenly dead serious again.) i said, "you are not going. you are an idiot." (bubble burst.) i could see his wheels turning and then he said, "ohhhh mannn!! your brother is coming this weekend, right!?" i said, "yes...but what does that have to do with anything." he yelped, "maybe i can ask HIM to go with me...as my gay PARTNER! they never asked me if you were male or female! that will work, RIGHT?" i yelled, "YOU ARE NOT GOING TO PRETEND TO BE GAY WITH MY BROTHER SO THAT YOU CAN GO TO SOME WAREHOUSE AND GET A FREE TABLET AND FREE GIFT CARD!" he said (ignoring me), "if your brother goes with me, i can give HIM the tablet and WE can use the gift card?" (still dead serious.) i yelled, "it's NOT HAPPENING!" i then told him i was done with the conversation and went back to rolling my meatballs. all the while laughing on the inside. this all being said, if would've brought me this nonsense this morning, as opposed to yesterday afternoon...i would've LOST. MY. MIND. i assure you that if this happened to be his choice for an early morning conversation, he would have the spatula that i was using for my eggs inserted directly in his asshole. (painfully and violently.)

i laughed a couple of times today thinking about this aforementioned conversation. i also wonder if he still thinks that he's actually going to go to this "warehouse" this weekend to get his free shit. i guarantee today he was thinking about how he can do this, or how he can convince me to go with him. apparently the people were adamant that we both had to be there...my guess is because two livers are better than one. consequently, during my reading lesson, we were learning about the word 'like.' the kids were all talking about things they like. one of them mentioned that they like playing games on their tablet...and i burst out laughing. (bet it wasn't free from a sketchy warehouse!) then we did the corresponding worksheet and the kids had to draw a picture of something they like to finish a sentence. i was walking around the room and came across this gem.

it's a bird...it's a plane....it's a....?!?!! (spaceship.) ok, what did you think it was? (pervert.)

and so at the close of another day...i'm reminded once again to keep laughing. laughing when my husband comes up with the next cockamaime coupon scheme. laughing when my students draw pictures that look like penises. laughing when i am nearly run over by a krispy kreme truck while jogging. (that really happened after work. i screamed and everything.) laughing when my one year old drops a deuce...in the bathtub. (happened, tonight.) just keep laughing. happy hump day, y'all! i'm happier than a camel on wednesday.

dinosaurs

i started my day with my husband sauntering into the kitchen like a walking britannica book stating, "they found a new dinosaur. it's twice the size of the t-rex...and it's a flesh eater." i nodded my head and flipped my eggs. (he was talking about it like it was alive.) happy with my head nod...he went on, "they found it in utah. isn't that awesome?" i nodded again and pulled my bacon out of the microwave. now typically, i don't say too much in the morning...especially if it's about extinct reptiles. flesh eating dinosaurs aren't something that really get me fired up for the day. my husband, however, felt this was something he really had to share. i shook my head as he left for work and went upstairs to wake up thing one and thing two from their slumber. some mornings, ella pretends like she can't walk so that i have to make two separate trips to the car with her and her sister. (it's awesome.) this particular morning though, she sprung up outta her bed and said, "gooooooood morrrrrninnnngggg, mommmmmeeee!" (dear god.) i mustered all the enthusiasm i could and said, "good morning, pretty girl! how are you?" she replied, "i'm good...and i didn't poop my pants!" (that's always a plus.) she was extra talkative on the way to the sitters and carrie just sat there, sucked her fingers, and stared at her. (i shared her sentiment.) so after a conversation about why the clouds were purple, why the red light turned green, why the leaves were blowing around, and why the moon was still in the sky...i dropped them off and said goodbye. (good golly.)

as i arrived to work, i had high hopes for the day. i do love my job, but sometimes it's really draining. kids can suck the life outta you...whether they are your own or others. you have to start the day with a positive outlook, or things go downhill fast. kids can sense these things, like dogs...and they feed off of any feelings you are having. first thing this morning i had a little boy walk up to my desk (as i was going through their nightly folders) and he slapped his kid friendly scissors in the palm of my hand. he then said, "here. my mom said she wants you to hold onto these until i need them." we are well into the school year, so i said, "why?" he cocked his head to one side and said, "welllllllllll last night i may have cut my hair with my scissors at home and she's afraid i'm going to do it here." (ok then.) i just smiled and asked him if he thought it might happen at school, too. he said, "i'm not sure how it happened at home, i just wanted to do it....so you better just keep them." i looked really serious and told him i would safely keep them until he needed to use them for his work. he skipped away from my desk and a saw the patch of hair missing from the back of his head. (i laughed on the inside.) this isn't as bad as a student i had last year who cut another student's eyelashes off because he wondered what his friend would look like without them. (if you are wondering, he looked ridiculous.)

after a reading lesson and a snack, we had playtime. we are one of the few counties (and schools) that allow playtime in kindergarten anymore. it's so sad! kids need to play, and they learn so much about social skills during this time; how to talk to and interact with one another, how to share, how to treat one another. playtime is pertinent to growth. if i was told i couldn't have it, i'd probably do it anyway. (shhhhh.) anyways, i was on the floor doing a puzzle with one of my children who has some special needs (yes, sometimes i play with the kids) and i heard another child yell, "oh my goodness, look at sammy's face!" i turned to see sammy, proud as a peacock i might add...coming out of the bathroom with a stellar set of green glasses drawn on his little face. his facial expression alone was priceless...now add the self drawn green glasses and it's a recipe for silliness. i lost it. it was one of the moments in my career that was so hysterically funny that i couldn't get myself together. the kids then all lost it as well. we were all just laughing for a good couple minutes. then, though, i had to get it together because i knew damn well if these kids believed that i thought this was funny...they would all be drawing on their own faces. (disaster.) i looked directly at him and yelped, "REALLY?!" he said, "what?!" we had a courageous conversation about the proper use of markers in the classroom. (ie/markers are for paper, not faces.) i then asked him in front of the group if he needed to owe me some playtime so that he would remember to never do this again. he showed some remorse and said, "no, i won't do it again...but it was kinda fun." (i bet it was.) i soooo wanted to snap a picture, but didn't want to further condone the behavior. (highhhlarious to look at, though.)

someone asked me if the marker was permanent. (um, no.) leaving permanent markers out in a kindergarten classroom is like leaving shots of fireball whiskey out at an alcoholics anonymous meeting. (no bueno.) if this were the case, permanent marker could be found everywhere...walls, floors, desks, faces, nothing would be safe. ever notice how kids will find the one thing in the room they are not supposed to have? (they are masters at this.) i swear my one year old has her own personal scavenger hunt everyday, looking for things that she shouldn't have. sometimes i pull things out of her mouth and i have no idea where she even found them in the first place. anyway, i was working on washing the silly spectacles off of my friend sammy's face...when he started rubbing my stomach. (he was about eye level to it.) he then said, "hey! are you growing a baby in there?" (ah gees.) i said, "no, no babies in there." he said, "well i think you are...it's getting bigger." (oh great.) i went to the gym this afternoon and really banged it out trying to burn some extra calories, because there's nothing like a 5 year old without a filter to get you motivated. i got as much of the green as i could off of his face, but i had to write a note to the parents about the incident. (that was fun.) i wonder if they reprimanded him about it or laughed. (i hope it was a little bit of both...but mostly the latter.) furthermore, as i was making dinner at my own house, carrie got into some stickers and put them all over her own face. this time, we did snap a picture.

after i got home from the gym, i ran upstairs to shower and shortly after i heard the dog going nuts downstairs. as i was drying my hair with a towel, i heard a voice that i've never heard before...coming from inside my house. butch is notorious for getting duped into salesmen and solicitors of this nature, so i wasn't surprised. i came downstairs to find a huge african american male (over 6'8'', more than 300lbs) named anthony trying to get butch to switch our cable from verizon to comcast. (the man was mammoth in size.) ella and carrie looked like polly pockets compared to him. he was whispering sweet nothings about free this and free that...i knew damn well a change was in our future. i said hello and walked out into the kitchen. (this is all you warren.) about a half an hour later, we had an appointment to switch back to comcast on this sunday. our appointment is between 10 and 12pm on that day...so that means they are gonna show by like 5pm and we will waste our entire sunday waiting for them. no worries though, we'll be home anyway...because my dad is also coming that day to install a garbage disposal. for the past 2 months we've had a bucket under the kitchen sink catching any water that squirts out from a hole in the side of the plumbing. (awesome.) maybe some people think i make this stuff up, maybe some people can relate, maybe some people just like to laugh along. however i do know this for sure, if you start your day with a conversation about dinosaurs and you end your day having a conversation with a man that is as big as one...things just seem to come full circle.