pathetic

sooo, on tuesday i was sick. like really effing sick. i thought my organs were shutting down and i was dying a slow and painful death. i couldn't move. i could barely breathe. it was awful. trust me...i am not being dramatic, it takes a LOT for me for sickness to knock me down. in fact, in 7 years of teaching i have taken 1 (ONE!) sick day for myself. (all of the other sick days used were for my children's sicknesses.) luckily, butch was off of work and could take care of our kids...because i was incapable of taking care of a guinea pig. (i was useless.) that being said, when friends of mine heard that i was sick...they immediately started busting my balls that it was a hangover, i was pregnant (hell no!),  it was food poisoning, or caused by all of the protein that i'd been eating during my paleo trial. god FORBID i actually be SICK.

butch thought i was faking. (at first.) then he just stared at me laying there and knew better. (i never just lay there, i'm always doing something.) anyway, truth be told...i actually had been dreaming of this day for a while, a day to do nothing but lay in bed. however, i didn't have dreams of it due to the bubonic plague. i actually didn't sleep that much since ella was born. i slept allllll day. i'd like to say it was glorious...but it wasn't, because a. i was thinking of the 3247 things i had to get done. b. i was thinking about my students and the how i wasn't there. and c. i was thinking about the fact that my body was rotting from the inside out. (this virus was fierce, if i didn't stress that enough.) ella skipped into the bedroom at one point and stared at me. i said, "ella, i'm sorry mommy is sick." she said, "eww, yeah. just not get me sick, otay?!" and ran outta the room. (thanks for your concern, kid.)

so anyway, it exited quickly. (praise jesus.) i went back to work today, and now i am off for 10 glorious days for spring break. wanna know how i started my spring break? (it wasn't planning a trip to cancun.) i went to buy a toy organizer for the toys r us superstore, called our house. i was (seriously) pumped when i found one i liked. (you know when you are a mom when...) i can't take these goddamn toys anymore people. they piss me off. the ones with the small parts are the absolute worst. but let me tell you...you know what the craziest thing is? they hardly play with them. if i throw an empty paper towel roll at carrie, she's good for an hour. if ella has a coloring book and some crayons, she's set for a good half hour. hell, give her the box that the toy organizer came in, and she'll be set for a week. (it's irritating...and i can't be the only one that feels this way.) so anyway, i left work for my "break" and was gleefully going back home to organize toys. (parrrrrrrrrrrrrrttttyyyy!!!)

when i got home, butch looked chalk white and tired. earlier in the day, he had sent me a text (bragging) that carrie had slept til 9am. (NINE?!...she's usually up by 7.) anyway, the jubilant texts quickly faded when she wouldn't lay down for either a morning or afternoon nap. (she was up all day!) babies: they do whatever the hell they want. she wasn't crying or unpleasant, but when a 9mo old is awake, you have to be on your A game. they crawl around, they stuff shit in their mouths (leaves), they bang their heads on things...they are active. you can't just lay around and scratch your ballsack. you have to watch them. (he looked fried.) ella was eating popcorn at the pub table, watchin' one of her "shows" and whipped around when i walked in the door with the big box. she was just as jazzed as me about the toy organizer (or the box?!).

we ended up moving furniture around, organizing, and cleaning until the kids went to bed at 8pm. i grabbed a glass of wine, he cracked a beer. we both sat down on the couch and i started typing. butch turned on the tv. he then said after a few minutes, "hey...bathtub killer or hiding in plain sight??" without missing a beat or looking up, i said, "bathtub killer." (dateline, anyone?) we both then started laughing hysterically, possibly at our pathetic ways? we are both on spring break. we are both tired as shit. we are both parents....and looking back on our lives a few years ago, we both find this humorous in a multitude of ways. bathtub killer it is. goodnight, y'all!

paleo

so this past saturday, i decided that i needed to shake up my eating routine...and it has turned into just that, a routine. i seriously was eating the same stuff for weeks. the same things for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. for dinner, i would make the same five things, just vary what days i would cook them on. i always wonder if other people fall into these patterns, i'm guessing yes. anyways, i've been reading a lot about the paleo way of life...and i like it. eat foods that are natural, limit foods that are not. sleep well. limit stress. eat when you are hungry, stop when you are full...you get it. anyway, i tried it for a week. here is my experience:

sunday.
wellll...this was st. patty's day. however, i did pretty well. i had eggs and bacon for brunch. (at a restaurant.) although i did have a bloody mary and about 4 containers of creamer in my coffee. (you are supposed to limit alcohol and dairy...whoopsy.) i already had dinner planned out...and butch was PUMPED when i showed him the recipe, so much so that he almost hugged me with glee. three words: bacon wrapped meatloaf. fen ended up stopping by for dinner as well and she also thought it was bangin. i didn't feel deprived at all today. yum.

bacon wrapped meatloaf

sidebar: the bacon grease overflowed out of the muffin tin, leading to smoke pouring out of my oven. the smoke alarm (loudly) went off...then causing ella to scream OH NOOOO!, carrie to cry, and butch to take the lords name in vain. 

monday.

i woke up hungry, like really hungry. like i could've eaten half of a steer and a whole hog for breakfast. i opted for a couple of scrambled eggs, some avacado, and 2 slices of bacon instead. around 10am i started to feel a little squirrely and this also happened to be snack time in my classroom. (i almost straight armed a student for his twinkie.) anyway, i noted that tuesday i would also have to bring some sort of snack for this time, so that i don't hurt a small child by accosting his treat. for lunch i had one of the left over meatloafs and a salad filled to the gills with veggies. (it was good.) i came home and made curried shrimp and spinach for dinner. i never used curry before and was a little scared. however, it turned out awesome. i DID have a bit of a moment, because i made pasta for butch (to go with his) and as he was twirling on his fork i almost kicked his penis violently under the table. (i took a deep breath.) after cleaning up, i made a smoothie loaded with fruit (and spinach!) for the next days snack. i also took a couple of sips of it after making it, so that i didn't hurt my husbands private parts due to my lack of pasta for dinner. (the fruit calmed my craziness...who knew.)

curried shrimp and spinach

sidebar: you have to puree the ingredients in the blender. carrie was nearby and when i hit the button, it scared the hell out of her. she screamed like a banshee and then wouldn't calm down...so spent the whole rest of the time cooking with a baby on my hip.

tuesday.
when i whipped my smoothie snack for the day out of my lunch bag, one of the kindergartners breezed by my desk, made a disgusted face...and almost dry heaved. i will admit, it looked pretty nasty. it was green and chunky and i tried to explain that there was fruit in there and it was good...but the 5 year old was NOT buying it. he was judging me with his big brown eyes, and gagged when i took a sip. (i laughed.) lunch was a salad with bacon and mushrooms, which left me feeling hungry. the dinner i had planned for today had to be put off, because my parents decided to blow into town for dinner and if you think for one second that georgie boy is eating paleo...you don't know georgie boy. anyways, we ordered take out...a grilled chicken salad (no cheese, lotsa veggies) for me and two large pizzas for the the rest of them. when those delicious cheese monsters blew through my door, i almost grabbed one and ran. however, the salad was pretty good...but again, i was left feeling hungry. i found a few pecans hidden in the back of the cabinet from christmas and had some. (this was a good idea, as it stopped me from slicing my family with the pizza cutter.) alrighty, day three...glad you are over.

sidebar: while eating, i stated that i really wanted a piece of pizza...george said, "then HAVE a piece of pizza!" deb said, "nooooo, GEORGE, she is not eating PIZZA, that is not PALEO." (i almost slapped her in her size 4 mouth...but she is my mother, so i refrained.)

wednesday.
i was not starving for a steer when i woke up, and had a yummy spinach omelet and bacon for breakfast. instead of disgusting my kindergartners with a green smoothie today, i opted for an orange. for lunch i made a salad topped with steak and avocado...and that's when all hell broke loose. after lunch, my students come in from recess, and then they have a 20 minute rest time before they go to art. well, they all laid down, and i was sitting at my desk. my stomach started hurting, hurting like really bad. i kid you not...i thought i was going to shit a kitten. i was doubled over, trying to play it cool...and i heard, "um, are you alRIGHT?!" from one of the kids. (YESSS I'M FINE, YOU SON OF A BITCH!) instead, i said, "yup, i'm good..." this went on for about 10 or 15 minutes, the pain that is. i'm not sure what brought it on, because there wasn't anything weird about the salad i ate...nor did i consume any cyanide for dessert. anyway, it passed...no kittens were shit, and my day went on without a hitch. today is one of the days i get to go to the gym..so butch was "in charge" of dinner. i got steaks for him to grill, instructed him to also grill some zucchini for me, and i would make a side for him when i got home. it was delicious...and i definitely wasn't hungry afterwards day 4 success...minus the urge to suddenly shit my own pants.

no sidebars today...i think the fact that i almost crapped my own pants and i'm 30 years old is enough.

thursday.
breakfast was the same as the past couple of days... nothing mind blowing. for lunch i had some leftover zucchini from the night before and another steak salad with some of the leftover steak. (no attacks from the inside this time.) one of my coworkers bounced into my classroom at the end of the day with a tray of tagalong cookies (ala girlscouts.) i told him to get out immediately...and that i wanted to hurt him. (he laughed, but i was kinda serious.) today was another gym day...so the night before, i prepared dinner for tonight. (i didn't want butch to blow a gasket making dinner two nights in a row.) i got a paleo recipe for a crockpot pork loin. i've done pork loins in the crockpot before, and they are always good. however, when i pulled this recipe up...i didn't really read it. it involved searing the meat and sauteing the veggies before putting them in the crockpot (therefore defeating the purpose of the crockpot in the first place, in my opinion.) anyway, i set off the smoke alarm (again) and when i looked out into the living room, butch was just shaking his head. (whoops.) we did frozen broccoli and rice for the big man as sides. this was an awesome recipe, and it was worth the extra step. day 5 done...and pretty successful, minus me almost decking a coworker who thought it was cool to breeze in my classroom with irresistible treats from those goddamn girlscouts.

crockpot pork

sidebar: while eating dinner, butch admitted that on the way home he stopped for gas at wawa with the girls. he also admitted that he ordered mozzarella sticks and fisted them into his face before arriving home. my face must've said it all...because he couldn't stop laughing. (what. the. hell. warren.)

friday. 

nothing to write home about on this day...except for lunch, i pureed what was left in the crockpot and made a tomato/pork soup out of it. sounds gross, but was so awesome. after work, i fell off the paleo wagon for a hot minute and had some crackers and cheese and some coors lights. for dinner we ordered in, and i did have some sushi (gasp...rice!) like i said, fell off the wagon and not much to write home about...however, i didn't gorge myself with carbs or anything.

sidebar: it's friday, don't judge me.

saturday.
i woke up and went to a spin class first thing this AM. this was the first time i took this particular class, and the blonde bike nazi instructor was getting on my nerves. she yelled, "pusshhhh it new girllll!"at one point. (um, i could eat you for breakfast, girlfriend...shut it.) along with shaking up my eating routine, i tried all week to shake up my workout routine as well. spinning is no joke...i thought i might die. (or throw up.) and for tonight's menu?? beer...and lots of it. (DC beerfest and a babysitter, people!)

sidebar: i like beer.

in conclusion...at the end of my paleo week, i'm feeling pretty awesome. i lost another 4 lbs as well. did it allow me to blast through a plateau? yes. did it make me nearly shit my own pants? yes. did it make me want to hurt my husband, a coworker, a small child, and my own mother? yes. do i think i could make a lifestyle out of it? maybe, but i think (as with anything) moderation is key. if you need to shake up your eating routine, or drop a few pounds...i definitely recommend it. plus, you can eat lotsa bacon...and really, who doesn't like bacon? i couldn't go paleo all day everyday, but i'm guessing it gets easier as you go on...and by easier i mean not nearly shitting yourself or wanting to assault small children for their sugary snacks.

virus

so i'm staring down night number four of no sleep due to a virus that has attacked both of my children fiercely. i'm quite certain that my internal organs are on the brink of shutting down, my motor skills are compromised, and i am having trouble speaking in full sentences. (i feel like hell.) the whole weekend ella ran a fever. fevers can turn toddlers into mini hannibal lecters...shit they don't tell you in the parenting books number 452. she seriously is like jekyll and hyde...and you never know when she is going to morph from one to the other. it's like one minute she is dancing on rainbows in her ruby slippers, and the next she is ready to blow up her doll house with a hand granade. (crazy town.) finally last night...butch and i had both had it. he stated that he wanted to "stab himself in the face." (it was that bad.) after dealing with this virus for 2 full days and 2 nights with 2 children, we were both ready to dance off into the sunset...and leave them at the nearest orphanage. last night at 11pm, ella was sitting in our bed eating goldfish crackers, crying because "everyTING hurts." (including mommy's brain, honey.)

when your kids are sick, you so wish it was just you that was sick. you wish you could take on their pain and make them better. however, it also gets to a point that you can't take anymore. (no sleep for 3 nights and constant care will take you there.) tonight, i was dealing with ella's most recent hand grenade moment when i heard butch scream like a little girl in the next room. (what now?!) he's all high pitched, yelling..."ahhhhhHHHHHHH SHE'S PEEING ON ME! PEEING. ON. ME!" shortly before this, i heard him giving carrie raspberries on her chunky belly, so i hoped the pee didn't go in his mouth. (that could've been really bad.)  he was holding her on his hip at that point and she let loose all over him, prior to him putting her in the tub...so now they both needed a bath. (glad there wasn't any sharp objects nearby, because his self face stab might've happened at that moment.) i was calming ella, who was covering me in snot and he was in the next room getting a golden shower from our youngest. it doesn't get much more glamorous than that. our life would be a seriously convincing birth control commercial for teens. 16 and pregnant? nah...how about 2 thirty somethings, with 2 jobs, 2 kids, 2 animals, and a whole hell of a lot of craziness. it would scare the bejeezus out of any young couple. (trust me.)

so i laid both sick children down to bed tonight, knowing full well that neither of them will probably make it through the evening without an episode. i took off of work tomorrow to make a trip to the pediatrician. (i went to 'doctor's express' last friday...but i need to follow up, because that place is not legit.) butch stated that he actually enjoyed going to work today, because it was easier than dealing with this wicked virus. (i agree.) i'm beyond tired, but know things could be worse. (and thankful they are not.) if we all make it out of this week alive, and only covered in snot and urine...i'll be okay with that. for the love of all things holy...winter (and sickness) can be over any day now. godspeed to all those parents, like us, who are dealing with the same things. for i know your parenting joy and i most certainly feel your parenting pain. seems to me that the good most definitely out weighs the bad...it's just trying to find the rainbow through the hand grenade blast that is sometimes an issue. hang tight.

dress

so yesterday, fen asked me to go with her to pick out a bridesmaids dress for a friend's upcoming wedding. i don't know WHY women put each other through these ridiculous rituals. dressing each other up in matching gowns to parade down an aisle. (nuts.) now listen, i am a girl...i like doing girly things from time to time, but the place we went to was WACKO. first of all, it was packed with people on this saturday afternoon. packed to the gills with women who were wild for weddings. as soon as we walked in, i was smacked in the face by enough glitter, beading, and tulle to put a princess to shame. every so often, there was a ringing bell and cheers of glee, as ladies "said yes" to their dress. (they actually handed a large bell to the girls and made them ring it.) when it happened for the first time, fen swung around, stared at me and said (loudly), "what the hell?!" (what the hell is correct.) i was not in the best shape, as i had one too many coors lights the night before. i was hungover as hell, bells were ringing, girls were giggling...and i wanted to punch someone in the throat. 

thank god fen had already done her homework online and had three dresses picked out that she wanted to try. (the bride picked the color CLOVER (yes!)...and then let the girls pick their own dresses.) and thank god that the serial numbers she wrote down for the dresses were well labeled and easy to find....NOT. a lady kindly pointed us in the right direction to 4 aisles of dresses that were a miss match of numbers and styles. we couldn't find one of the dresses that fen was looking for. (she started to get a little wound up at this point.) this was then my cue to start wandering around and find the most ridiculous dress that i could. i got it, and as i crossed paths with fen again...she glared at me and said (salty), "what are you doing with that dress?" i could barely hold the thing, it was so huge. i smirked and said, "i'm trying it on." she glared. (she should be used to my antics by now, but she always acts surprised by my ridiculousness.) we pulled 4 random dresses out for her and hit the dressing room. when we emerged the first time, people were staring. i made an african american woman who was about 300 pounds, take our picture. (bells were still ringing...in my head and all around us. joy to the world.)

i was firing pictures to the bride as fen was modeling these frocks. she had finally found "THE" dress, when my phone rang. i answered, and it was the bride. here is a picture of "THE" dress. see how excited she is about it? she loved it.

then the bride said, "ummm...i forgot to tell fen that i don't want the dresses to be SHINY, i want them to be more CHIFFON." oh shit. (i knew this was going to make fen crazy...and i couldn't wait to tell her.) i said (holding back laughter), "she doesn't want the dresses to be shiny..." she spurted out a few choice words that i won't mention...she said these loudly and with force. (bleep bla bleep bleep bleep) so here are all these blushing brides in fabulous, fantasy moods and then i'm standing there with a fiesty foul mouthed fen, bitchy bridesmaid from hell. (awesome.) so we went back into the sea of serial numbers and pulled some more dresses. i was trying to keep her calm at this point, because i knew flapping arms and more expletives were on the tip of her tongue. (we didn't need any more stares then we already had.) she found a style she liked, and i took this picture. can you see the crazy in her face? i sure can. (i laugh every time i look at this picture.)

she ordered the dress in the lovely clover hue and then decided celebratory (sedating) beers were in order...so we stopped for one. now i had left my house immediately at nap time. i laid both girls down at 1 o'clock, walked out the door...and left warren at the wheel. normally, they will sleep til about 4...normally. both of them are not feeling great, and coughing their heads off. carrie woke up about 3, and ella about 3:30. i got multiple texts from butch at like 4pm (when we had just left the bridal shop)...including pictures of ella crying and the last text said, "she just threw up all over me." (holy hell.) when i walked in the door, he had dark circles under his eyes and looked extremely pissed. there was a large wet stain on the couch and he was not wearing a shirt. he said, "these kids are crazy...i feel like it was D day and they were storming the shores of normandy." (ahahah!) "stuff was coming out of everywhere...imploding and exploding like BOMBS. ella PUKED!! carrie POOPED!!" (this all happened in an hour of them being awake and me being gone. one hour.) ironically, he did look like he'd been through a war. (men.)

i didn't sleep much last night, due to the germs flying around our house...and i had an "i quit" mommy moment at about 4am. i actually said, "i quit" outloud...and then i remembered that i can't quit this job. (ever.) the wedding is in a few months, i can't wait to see fen saunter down the aisle in her clover, chiffon frock...and luckily, neither fen nor i punched anyone in the throat during our bridal adventure. however, i kinda wish she would have...and the headlines would've read, "bridesmaid from hell goes apeshit, short sidekick laughs from afar." (would've made for a much more interesting ending.) yeah, well...maybe next time.

favors

so recently, butch has been doing really nice things for me. not that he doesn't always do nice things...he's a nice typa guy, but he's been doing things he normally doesn't do (and i'm not complaining, at all). for instance, last week when i got home from the gym, he had dinner made for us and was also feeding the kids. normally, i have something for him to throw in the oven or i make it when i get home. then yesterday, i was running errands and i came home to have the whole kitchen cleaned up and he was doing laundry (i thanked him, but was suspicious). finally, this morning i started my car and my tire pressure light was on. i've known for a while that i have a slow leak one of my rear tires, but i've been putting off getting it fixed. when i mentioned the light was on, he offered to take my car to work and then get it fixed on his way home (yes, please!). so three things that have been odd in the past couple of days, three favors...i wonder what the hell he wants. (just kidding...but not really.)

on the way home, he said that he was going to go to a nearby tire shop in our town...but they couldn't get the car in til tomorrow. so he went to another place that was farther away. (he sounded a little pissed, but i let it go.) i said aye aye captain, got the girls home, and was making dinner. my phone rang, i answered, and it was warren. "um, YO. where is your TIRE KEY?!?!" (my whaaaaa???) i had no idea what the hell he was talking about. "the key, for your tire. where is it. for your LUG NUTS. your tire. the KEY," he was rambling and getting hyper. (holy hell) i squawked, "i have no idea. in the glove box?!" now when that came out of my mouth, i had a flash in my brain of what was in my glove box, because fen had been rifling through it a few months ago. i knew that it was filled with miscellaneous junk...and i also knew that this was going to throw butch over the EDGE. i've mentioned before that he HATES my messy car, and gets irate when he has to deal with it. (clean house, messy car.) anyway, he said, "ok...i'll find it!" (boiling a little, i could tell.) and hung up.

i continued to make dinner and ella was running around the house laughing her head off about something (probably the fact that she crapped her pants). carrie was eating cheerios in her exersaucer in the kitchen, smiling at me. all was well on the homefront. until about a half hour later...when butch blew through the door and he was fit to be tied. "why the HELL do you have so much SHIT in your CAR!!??" (whoops.) he goes, "and thanks a LOT for telling me what was in your GLOVE BOX before i let the guys at the shop GO THROUGH IT ALL to find the KEY!?" (oh no.) he said, "thank GOD i told them it was my wife's car...otherwise they would've thought i was some type of CREEP!" he said, "do you know what was in the GLOVE BOX!?" (i was stifling laughter at this point, like biting my lip...cause i knew.) he said, "my GOD there was so much stuff, TRISH, so MUCH!...but my personal favorite was the THONG and the BREAST PADS!...you are one dildo short of a sex shop in there! (voice RAISED) I LOOKED LIKE A GODDAMN CREEP." (two hands on my knees, LOSING it at this point.) he was not laughing, at all. meanwhile, i couldn't breathe. he then said, "and AMONGST all that STUFF, they never found the KEY...so i wasted AN HOUR of my life." (i'm sorry?) and sidebar: both of those things are in my glovebox from when i was pregnant...you never know when you are going to need another pair of undergarments, and the "breast pads" were actually nursing pads. (it's been that long since i've cleaned out my car...oy.)

we ate dinner in silence, other than ella talking about everything she could remember from her day. i helped him give them a bath. (i didn't want to blow a gasket.) after the kids were in bed, i got a shower and then went downstairs to find him on the couch, drinking a brew. he shook his head at me and said, "i'm done with the favors...you are on your own with that one." he added, "but with this snowQUESTER we are supposed to have, i want you to get it done tomorrow." mr. weatherman himself has been obsessing the past couple of days about this storm we are supposed to get in maryland. in fact, he woke up this morning giddy as a school girl blabbering on about it. i was half awake (due to a carrie wake up call at 2am) and just nodded through the whole forecast. he proceeded to then show me maps and videos about the trajectory of the storm. (still nodding.) as i was brushing my teeth, he was filling me in on inch totals. (still nodding.)

his snowbeard is out in force and he is banking on at least one day off of school. i'll believe it when i see it...the weathermen know nothing. all i know is, i would've paid good money to see him standing there in his khaki pants, button down and boat shoes...while the guys in the garage were dissecting my mess of a car looking for that tire key. their facial expressions when they saw those underwear must've been priceless. he also mentioned there was a little asian man among them, giving him weird looks the whole time. (haaaa!) i think it's safe to say my favor run is over at the moment...but it was totally worth the laughs.

mayhem

i woke up yesterday morning, and i was at one speed...GO. in 4 hours i did 2 loads of laundry, went to the grocery store, lost my purse, found my purse, vacuumed downstairs, cleaned the kitchen, and had my gym clothes on ready to walk out the door (this was all before 11am). when i realized i lost my purse and was slamming things around the house looking for it, butch said, "seriously, trish, you need to get it together...you are making me goddamn nuts, i'm seriously ready to crack a beer just watching you." now normally, i don't sit still for too long...i'm always doing something. however, when i'm riding the red railroad, i feel like i need to get everything done...RIGHT. NOW. butch said that he thinks i don't actually bleed from the vagina...i bleed from the brain. i was on a goddamn mission...and speaking of missions, here we are at the end of another month already. two months into the bikini mission. (yikes.) 

i will be honest, i sucked this month. although i lost another 4 pounds, i'm pretty sure i did that in the past week. between traveling to my hometown (whaddup chicken cheesesteaks and yuengling) and polish weekend (booze and kielbasa galore)...food (and beer) won. also, when we are out of town i don't work out. oh, and on date night...i'm pretty sure i consumed my body weight in guacamole (you delicious green bastard), with about 2 baskets of chips AND washed it down with margaritas and malbec. (whoopsy.) all this being said, i am definitely getting physically stronger. i can run 5 miles in about 50 minutes (without puking or passing out). i also can do 20 pushups easily (if you are laughing, this is actually a big deal). i noticed also, that because i am eating in a different way...when i do eat crap, i feel like total crap. although i still love food, i have found it's not worth it to eat junk anymore because i physically feel terrible afterwards.

anyways, i am still a long way from a bikini...trust me. however, i'm getting there. this month we don't have too much going on, so i can focus more on my fitness goals, rather than it coming second (or fifth) to everything else going on. i feel really good, and actually had to buy some new jeans. i bought my first pair of "skinny" jeans...and this is funny because a few months ago, i tried on a pair of skinny jeans and laughed myself right outta the goddamn dressing room. i still feel like my legs are two sausages stuffed in casings in these things, but they actually look decent now (or so i think). my husband still doesn't understand why i want to go to the gym, or why i eat berries rather than bacon for breakfast...but when fen was over the other day, she mentioned that he looked a little plumper than normal. (hahah!) he said, "please stop, i'm sensitive about my weight." (fen and i almost fell off of the couch laughing...whatta fool.) on to month three...and hopefully less margaritas and mayhem.

month two done.