i've always loved new years eve...but not for the extravagant parties. hell, i don't think i've gone out on new years eve in at least 6 years or more due to my children entering this world. truth be told, i'll actually be lucky to make it to midnight...maybe mixing in a glass of bubbly with my boxed wine. (wiiiiild!) however, as each year that passes it is like the ending of a story. each passing month of that year is like a chapter in that book. there are some chapters i'd like to reread each delicious detail, some i'd like to skim through, and some i would skip all together. as i get older, i have realized that writing this story each year is up to me...and unfortunately each year flies by faster than the next. i know damn well i'm gonna wake up and be 80 and wonder what the hell happened. my dad always warned me about the quickness of this life and i thought he was lying. now that i have my own children, i know this to be true. moreover, you create your own story with each decision that you make. how you act and react to things that are beyond your control are crucial to your own happiness, i've learned this throughout the years. this past year has been filled with great memories and experiences, but the beginning of a new year is an opportunity to start fresh, to start the story all over again so to speak.
i learn a lot about life from the children that i teach and also the two little people that inhibit my house. children know how to to truly live and they are unaffected by the burdens of adulthood. they wear their feelings (good or bad) on their sleeve. they tell people how they really feel and mean it. they soak up each experience and grow from it. as adults, we sometimes miss the lesson in an experience and move along too quickly. sometimes we are too worried about the past or future that we forget to live in the present. whether it be learning how to blow a bubble with gum or buttoning their pants independently for the first time...kids embrace that stuff and own it. i often hear at my house..."i did it all by myself!" ringing out from the other room. kids in my classroom get excited when they write a letter the correct way for the first time. they celebrate each (seeming minuscule) milestone and adults should do that more often. we need to celebrate the little things more and worry less. i have met some amazing people this past year and i am always intrigued by their stories. in this super short life, it's important to really get to know the people that are helping you write the chapters of your own book. i love when people are raw and real and aren't afraid to show you who they really are.
so as another year passes, there are so many lessons that i've learned. my children continue to teach me what life is all about and i hope i am teaching them a thing or two. parenting is one hell of a ride and half the time i feel like i don't know what the hell i am doing. however, my kids seem to be turning out all right...and most importantly, they are happy. all i really want for them in this life is for them to be happy. actually, that's what i want for most of the people in my life...for them to just be happy. with that in mind, get rid of the bullshit that bogs you down, do what makes you happy at the end of the day, and start writing the chapters of your own story with fervor. whether this past year was the best year of your life, or the worst year of your life...you are in control of what you write for yourself this upcoming year. (that, my friends, is a powerful thing!) i am forever thankful for the people who have come in and out of my life this past year and have taught me lessons...especially the little people. i am also thankful for simple things like coffee, wine, and running that have helped to keep me balanced. most importantly, i am thankful that i have made it through another year and lived to tell the tale. when you look back on your book when you are 80 years old...may your stories be part of a best seller. moreover, make this next year your best year yet.
Thursday, December 31, 2015
Saturday, December 19, 2015
flu
oh hey guys. how's everybody doin? just wanted to tell you that christmas came early in my house. one of my wishes for the holiday is that i would have an entire day over winter break to simply spend in bed (i think this is a valid request from most mothers around the world, right?). it hasn't happened since prekids and i thought how glorious it would be to watch movies, read a book, and nap. so coincidentally i'm on day two of doing this bed ridden thing, because this christmas miracle came to me in the form of the...FLU (careful what you wish for, huh?). that's right folks. exactly one week before christmas, i came down with the flu (like the legit one.) thursday when i woke up, i had a little bit of a cough and my chest felt heavy, but i didn't think much about it. i haven't been on antibiotics in the past 10 years, rarely get sick, and have never (ever) taken a sick day off in that time for myself (for my children, yes...lots of times). so off i skipped to work, to the gym (4 miles on the treadmill i might add), and then to fen's for girls night. to my dismay, at approximately 3:32am friday morning, i was abruptly awoken by severe body aches and pains. it felt like muhammad ali himself snuck into my bedroom and boxed the shit out of my body while i was sleeping. then came the chills. i was shaking all over the place and could not get warm no matter what i did. i tossed and turned and at at 5:30am when the alarm went off, i truly still believed i could go to work.
i wandered into the bathroom, slightly bewildered, and started straightening my hair. as i stood there i got a little lookie loo at myself in the mirror and thought, "holy hell...i look like i'm getting ready for a casting call for the walking dead." i was physically shaking when butch got out of the shower and he said, "what the hell is wrong with you!?" i said, "i'm so cold!" he said, "well you are wearing a tank top and underwear right now so that might be part of the problem!" i yelped back that i always wear this garb in the morning and don't typically look like i have parkinson's disease while i am doing my hair! (normal morning convos). so halfway through the straightening process i aborted mission...cause i thought i was going to pass out. i emailed my principal, put in for a sub, and went back to bed. in the meantime, my husband fed the kids breakfast and hopped out the door. therefore, i had to muster up some motherhood superpowers in order to get them dressed and to school. i did (somehow). as i crawled back under the covers, i laid there thinking about how i should be so excited about staying in bed all day...and really i just wanted to be at work! i had so many fun things planned for friday lessons and was disappointed i didn't get to do them. as the day went on, i tried to get out of bed several times, but it didn't go well (stumbling and shit). finally, after searching the goog for flu symptoms and seeing that i had a multitude of them, i decided to head to the minute clinic.
driving was a little dicey and of course i showed up right as "patricia" (the PA) was heading out to lunch. i sat there waiting, sweating profusely....and plotting patricia's death. i don't have a primary care physician, mainly cause in the 10 years i've lived here i have never gotten legit sick. (i know, i still need one.) i knew, though, that there was probably a flu swab, like a strep swab, so she would be able to tell me if i had it or not. i described my symptoms and she said, "do you have a shirt on under your sweatshirt?" (come again?) i said yes. then she said, "can you remove your sweatshirt, cause it will make the exam easier?" i said sure...but warned patricia that i was not wearing a bra. she played it off, but i think boobs akimbo was more than she was bargaining for in that visit. anyways, i removed my hoodie, hit myself nearly in the eye with my breast, and she began to take my blood pressure. i had popped a bunch of advil before i went, just so i didn't get the shakes from the fever, but when she took my temp it was still 102. (whew). she asked what i did for a living, if i had kids, and all the other pleasantry questions one can ask while staring at your braless wonder of a body. she took the swab from my nasal cavity (very uncomfortable, i might add) and then set the timer. she stated that she had never had someone come into the clinic with the flu while she worked there, so she really didn't think i had it. (ok then). the timer beeped and she swung around...and gasped. then immediately put on a mask. (wtf!? are medical professionals supposed to gasp?) so i said, "well i guess i have it." she shook her head yes.
afterwards, patricia read me the riot act about being in bed for 7-10 days, taking off work next week...and canceling any and all christmas plans (easy, PATTY!) i didn't know whether to laugh or cry in that moment, but when she passed me a mask to put on...i knew she was for serious. so i called my husband to let him know my predicament and he thought i was making it up (i assure you i am not). i asked him kindly to pick up some gatorade, soup, and my prescription. he obliged...and then flew in the door with it freaking out about how it all cost FORTY-SEVEN dollars and he thought it was ridiculous! (no coupons for CVS that day) then, he picked up the kids and shoved them in the door and went to the gym (men.) meanwhile, i'm in bed part flu victim part mental patient cause i can't move and he's gone. i think the girls knew the severity of my illness due to my mask covered mouth. i had a courageous conversation with butch about how i can't be expected to take care of a hamster, let alone two children at this point. he came home and realized i was not faking when he took one look at me (seriously, walking dead actress in the making). as i laid here in bed the past two days, i question my mental well being until this influenza is gone. one thing though, i'm glad it's me and not my kids...if they get it i will be devastated. although i love all things holiday, the flu doesn't usually factor into that equation. wishing you all a happy, HEALTHY, holiday season. hopefully muhammad ali doesn't sneak in your bedroom during the next week in the middle of the night and give you the one/two punch, nor do you have to wear a mask. may your days be merry and bright...and i mean that in the least sarcastic way possible.
i wandered into the bathroom, slightly bewildered, and started straightening my hair. as i stood there i got a little lookie loo at myself in the mirror and thought, "holy hell...i look like i'm getting ready for a casting call for the walking dead." i was physically shaking when butch got out of the shower and he said, "what the hell is wrong with you!?" i said, "i'm so cold!" he said, "well you are wearing a tank top and underwear right now so that might be part of the problem!" i yelped back that i always wear this garb in the morning and don't typically look like i have parkinson's disease while i am doing my hair! (normal morning convos). so halfway through the straightening process i aborted mission...cause i thought i was going to pass out. i emailed my principal, put in for a sub, and went back to bed. in the meantime, my husband fed the kids breakfast and hopped out the door. therefore, i had to muster up some motherhood superpowers in order to get them dressed and to school. i did (somehow). as i crawled back under the covers, i laid there thinking about how i should be so excited about staying in bed all day...and really i just wanted to be at work! i had so many fun things planned for friday lessons and was disappointed i didn't get to do them. as the day went on, i tried to get out of bed several times, but it didn't go well (stumbling and shit). finally, after searching the goog for flu symptoms and seeing that i had a multitude of them, i decided to head to the minute clinic.
driving was a little dicey and of course i showed up right as "patricia" (the PA) was heading out to lunch. i sat there waiting, sweating profusely....and plotting patricia's death. i don't have a primary care physician, mainly cause in the 10 years i've lived here i have never gotten legit sick. (i know, i still need one.) i knew, though, that there was probably a flu swab, like a strep swab, so she would be able to tell me if i had it or not. i described my symptoms and she said, "do you have a shirt on under your sweatshirt?" (come again?) i said yes. then she said, "can you remove your sweatshirt, cause it will make the exam easier?" i said sure...but warned patricia that i was not wearing a bra. she played it off, but i think boobs akimbo was more than she was bargaining for in that visit. anyways, i removed my hoodie, hit myself nearly in the eye with my breast, and she began to take my blood pressure. i had popped a bunch of advil before i went, just so i didn't get the shakes from the fever, but when she took my temp it was still 102. (whew). she asked what i did for a living, if i had kids, and all the other pleasantry questions one can ask while staring at your braless wonder of a body. she took the swab from my nasal cavity (very uncomfortable, i might add) and then set the timer. she stated that she had never had someone come into the clinic with the flu while she worked there, so she really didn't think i had it. (ok then). the timer beeped and she swung around...and gasped. then immediately put on a mask. (wtf!? are medical professionals supposed to gasp?) so i said, "well i guess i have it." she shook her head yes.
afterwards, patricia read me the riot act about being in bed for 7-10 days, taking off work next week...and canceling any and all christmas plans (easy, PATTY!) i didn't know whether to laugh or cry in that moment, but when she passed me a mask to put on...i knew she was for serious. so i called my husband to let him know my predicament and he thought i was making it up (i assure you i am not). i asked him kindly to pick up some gatorade, soup, and my prescription. he obliged...and then flew in the door with it freaking out about how it all cost FORTY-SEVEN dollars and he thought it was ridiculous! (no coupons for CVS that day) then, he picked up the kids and shoved them in the door and went to the gym (men.) meanwhile, i'm in bed part flu victim part mental patient cause i can't move and he's gone. i think the girls knew the severity of my illness due to my mask covered mouth. i had a courageous conversation with butch about how i can't be expected to take care of a hamster, let alone two children at this point. he came home and realized i was not faking when he took one look at me (seriously, walking dead actress in the making). as i laid here in bed the past two days, i question my mental well being until this influenza is gone. one thing though, i'm glad it's me and not my kids...if they get it i will be devastated. although i love all things holiday, the flu doesn't usually factor into that equation. wishing you all a happy, HEALTHY, holiday season. hopefully muhammad ali doesn't sneak in your bedroom during the next week in the middle of the night and give you the one/two punch, nor do you have to wear a mask. may your days be merry and bright...and i mean that in the least sarcastic way possible.
Thursday, December 10, 2015
december
so here we are in the middle of december and i really don't know where the past year has gone. i was recently at a birthday party for a friend's kid and she said, "so why haven't you been writing lately!?" i remarked that since graduate school has ended i really don't feel like writing anything. ever again. (ever.) it's not that it sucked the fun out of writing, it is just nice not being behind the laptop talking about literacy and it's many facets. in the meantime, there have been several things that have happened that have been quite funny in my world that i would like to share with you. first of all, yesterday morning, for example, i rolled over before the sun shone her shiny face and did what most people do when they wake up...i grabbed my phone off of the nightstand to take a little looksee before i had to face the day. lo and behold, i had a snapchat notification (yes, we use this app like 14 year old girls) from my best friend fen. i realized that she must've sent it at like 4:44am, which was mad friggen early to be snapping pictures of, well, anything. so i rubbed my eyeballs and then hit the red square cautiously. (if you are unfamiliar with snapchat, search the google.) what i saw was nothing short of amazing. one question: if a 9 foot christmas tree (that originally took 3 days to decorate) falls in a living room...will your fiance be the first one to hear it? the answer to that question is yes...he shot out of bed like a bullet, wide-eyed, and woke her the hell up.
i'm not surprised by stuff that happens to her anymore, cause there is a long laundry list of lemony snicket's series of unfortunate events in her life. for example, around halloween she called me (screaming) from her car and said that she thought someone had broken into her house...because there was loud music playing and the lights were left on. she went on to say she wasn't sure if the intruder was still in there. (whaaat?!) i asked her if the door was unlocked and she said no, "but brad paisley was singing sweet nothings loudly" and she wasn't sure why. she was sure someone was hiding in a closet waiting to off her with a carving knife and bury her in the backyard. i told her to go the hell inside because her roommate probably just left the tv on prior to leaving for work (she did.). she made me stay on the phone with her the whole time...like a lifetime movie gone wrong. (what are best friends for?) turns out no one was in there except for the monsters under her bed and the country singer slash stabber. (nice.) so after i saw the snapchat of the tree, i had to get my shit together. i then sauntered (more like old lady walked) into the bathroom and my husband was there. we don't say too much to each other in the morning and i'm okay with that. i have a hard time making words, let alone sentences, at that hour.
however, when i began to brush my teeth, i was bent over the sink and proceeded to spew toothpaste out of my mouth and all over the mirror...in a fit of laughter. i don't know what it was about that goddamn christmas tree, but when i got to thinking about it (timberrrrr!)...i couldn't stop laughing. he ran into the bathroom and yelled, 'WHAT!?' i grabbed my phone, pulled up the screenshot and said, "one guess who this happened to." without missing a beat...he said fen. there are so many things i love about the holidays, but trees that fall in a living room of a house in the middle of the night with no pets or children involved is one of my favorites. another favorite is the introduction of both my household elf on the shelf and my classroom elf. there are so many people that are so cynical about the damn thing, but let me try to explain it to you. take your average child under the age of ten and think about how excited they are about...anything. kids get excited about EVERYTHING. so take that and then add the month of december...where kids have to wrap their brains around the fact that a jolly fat guy in a red suit is going to bring them presents for (seemingly) no reason at all except for them "being good." you know what happens? they lose their little minds.
most children, in the month of december, lose their minds. so enter the elf. yes, the book that accompanies him states that he travels back to santa to report what he saw during the day and stuff...but do you know what the elf actually does? he brings the spirit of christmas right into your home or (also) in my case, classroom. it really is magical. and fun. and when people that get all wound up in a negative way about that elf...it makes me want to throat punch them. (happy holidays!) most of these naysayers are not around little people for the most part and don't quite "get it." i dare these scrooges to come into my school for a minute each morning when my kindergartners fire into the classroom like they have been shot out of a cannon. they are so (SO!) excited to see where the elf has "landed" from the night before...and their conversations about him are even better. my own kids hunt around in the morning looking for our home elf "snowflake" and carrie usually claps and squeals when she sees her...ella's eyes light up and i usually need a defibrillator to resuscitate my heart. (so there.) i have gotten away from posing him/her in 328 different positions, cause i've realize that just the fact that it has "magically" moved from one place to another is enough in the eyes of a child.
warren has also been wayyyy wound up about the holidays this year...and has decided to griswold the front of the house again. instead of using staples like clark, he used tacks this time. i didn't know what i was going on...until i went outside and it looked like jolly st. nick took puke on the cedar shakes. (colored lights a plenty.) he's also back in the coupon game and told me that he wants to convert carries bedroom into his "couponing room." i said, "let's not and say we did." (ps. this is a classic quote that my dad always said growing up) he replied with, "you're not letting my coupon skills flourish. they are being bottled up!" (if you don't believe me i'll show you the text.) he gets real passionate about shit like colored lights and coupons and sometimes i don't have the energy to be his cheerleader in that regard. however, when my family was here, they were alllllll about egging him on about both the colored lights (my dad suggested adding candy canes) and the coupons (my mom got wayyyy excited about the free toothpaste) so later on yesterday morning, when i was still laughing about the tree falling down, i got another snapchat from fen...sending me into a another fit of laughter. i was sitting at my desk at lunchtime and thought, will this nonsense ever end with her? she's balls deep in wedding planning and i'm along for the ride...i can't imagine what fun stuff is around the bend. meanwhile, if you can't get into the holiday spirit...you are more than welcome to come to my house, my classroom, or even fen's to see the previously fallen tree. go hard or go home is my motto this time of year...otherwise, you are just missing out. man i love the holidays.
i'm not surprised by stuff that happens to her anymore, cause there is a long laundry list of lemony snicket's series of unfortunate events in her life. for example, around halloween she called me (screaming) from her car and said that she thought someone had broken into her house...because there was loud music playing and the lights were left on. she went on to say she wasn't sure if the intruder was still in there. (whaaat?!) i asked her if the door was unlocked and she said no, "but brad paisley was singing sweet nothings loudly" and she wasn't sure why. she was sure someone was hiding in a closet waiting to off her with a carving knife and bury her in the backyard. i told her to go the hell inside because her roommate probably just left the tv on prior to leaving for work (she did.). she made me stay on the phone with her the whole time...like a lifetime movie gone wrong. (what are best friends for?) turns out no one was in there except for the monsters under her bed and the country singer slash stabber. (nice.) so after i saw the snapchat of the tree, i had to get my shit together. i then sauntered (more like old lady walked) into the bathroom and my husband was there. we don't say too much to each other in the morning and i'm okay with that. i have a hard time making words, let alone sentences, at that hour.
however, when i began to brush my teeth, i was bent over the sink and proceeded to spew toothpaste out of my mouth and all over the mirror...in a fit of laughter. i don't know what it was about that goddamn christmas tree, but when i got to thinking about it (timberrrrr!)...i couldn't stop laughing. he ran into the bathroom and yelled, 'WHAT!?' i grabbed my phone, pulled up the screenshot and said, "one guess who this happened to." without missing a beat...he said fen. there are so many things i love about the holidays, but trees that fall in a living room of a house in the middle of the night with no pets or children involved is one of my favorites. another favorite is the introduction of both my household elf on the shelf and my classroom elf. there are so many people that are so cynical about the damn thing, but let me try to explain it to you. take your average child under the age of ten and think about how excited they are about...anything. kids get excited about EVERYTHING. so take that and then add the month of december...where kids have to wrap their brains around the fact that a jolly fat guy in a red suit is going to bring them presents for (seemingly) no reason at all except for them "being good." you know what happens? they lose their little minds.
most children, in the month of december, lose their minds. so enter the elf. yes, the book that accompanies him states that he travels back to santa to report what he saw during the day and stuff...but do you know what the elf actually does? he brings the spirit of christmas right into your home or (also) in my case, classroom. it really is magical. and fun. and when people that get all wound up in a negative way about that elf...it makes me want to throat punch them. (happy holidays!) most of these naysayers are not around little people for the most part and don't quite "get it." i dare these scrooges to come into my school for a minute each morning when my kindergartners fire into the classroom like they have been shot out of a cannon. they are so (SO!) excited to see where the elf has "landed" from the night before...and their conversations about him are even better. my own kids hunt around in the morning looking for our home elf "snowflake" and carrie usually claps and squeals when she sees her...ella's eyes light up and i usually need a defibrillator to resuscitate my heart. (so there.) i have gotten away from posing him/her in 328 different positions, cause i've realize that just the fact that it has "magically" moved from one place to another is enough in the eyes of a child.
warren has also been wayyyy wound up about the holidays this year...and has decided to griswold the front of the house again. instead of using staples like clark, he used tacks this time. i didn't know what i was going on...until i went outside and it looked like jolly st. nick took puke on the cedar shakes. (colored lights a plenty.) he's also back in the coupon game and told me that he wants to convert carries bedroom into his "couponing room." i said, "let's not and say we did." (ps. this is a classic quote that my dad always said growing up) he replied with, "you're not letting my coupon skills flourish. they are being bottled up!" (if you don't believe me i'll show you the text.) he gets real passionate about shit like colored lights and coupons and sometimes i don't have the energy to be his cheerleader in that regard. however, when my family was here, they were alllllll about egging him on about both the colored lights (my dad suggested adding candy canes) and the coupons (my mom got wayyyy excited about the free toothpaste) so later on yesterday morning, when i was still laughing about the tree falling down, i got another snapchat from fen...sending me into a another fit of laughter. i was sitting at my desk at lunchtime and thought, will this nonsense ever end with her? she's balls deep in wedding planning and i'm along for the ride...i can't imagine what fun stuff is around the bend. meanwhile, if you can't get into the holiday spirit...you are more than welcome to come to my house, my classroom, or even fen's to see the previously fallen tree. go hard or go home is my motto this time of year...otherwise, you are just missing out. man i love the holidays.
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