i'm not surprised by stuff that happens to her anymore, cause there is a long laundry list of lemony snicket's series of unfortunate events in her life. for example, around halloween she called me (screaming) from her car and said that she thought someone had broken into her house...because there was loud music playing and the lights were left on. she went on to say she wasn't sure if the intruder was still in there. (whaaat?!) i asked her if the door was unlocked and she said no, "but brad paisley was singing sweet nothings loudly" and she wasn't sure why. she was sure someone was hiding in a closet waiting to off her with a carving knife and bury her in the backyard. i told her to go the hell inside because her roommate probably just left the tv on prior to leaving for work (she did.). she made me stay on the phone with her the whole time...like a lifetime movie gone wrong. (what are best friends for?) turns out no one was in there except for the monsters under her bed and the country singer slash stabber. (nice.) so after i saw the snapchat of the tree, i had to get my shit together. i then sauntered (more like old lady walked) into the bathroom and my husband was there. we don't say too much to each other in the morning and i'm okay with that. i have a hard time making words, let alone sentences, at that hour.
however, when i began to brush my teeth, i was bent over the sink and proceeded to spew toothpaste out of my mouth and all over the mirror...in a fit of laughter. i don't know what it was about that goddamn christmas tree, but when i got to thinking about it (timberrrrr!)...i couldn't stop laughing. he ran into the bathroom and yelled, 'WHAT!?' i grabbed my phone, pulled up the screenshot and said, "one guess who this happened to." without missing a beat...he said fen. there are so many things i love about the holidays, but trees that fall in a living room of a house in the middle of the night with no pets or children involved is one of my favorites. another favorite is the introduction of both my household elf on the shelf and my classroom elf. there are so many people that are so cynical about the damn thing, but let me try to explain it to you. take your average child under the age of ten and think about how excited they are about...anything. kids get excited about EVERYTHING. so take that and then add the month of december...where kids have to wrap their brains around the fact that a jolly fat guy in a red suit is going to bring them presents for (seemingly) no reason at all except for them "being good." you know what happens? they lose their little minds.
most children, in the month of december, lose their minds. so enter the elf. yes, the book that accompanies him states that he travels back to santa to report what he saw during the day and stuff...but do you know what the elf actually does? he brings the spirit of christmas right into your home or (also) in my case, classroom. it really is magical. and fun. and when people that get all wound up in a negative way about that elf...it makes me want to throat punch them. (happy holidays!) most of these naysayers are not around little people for the most part and don't quite "get it." i dare these scrooges to come into my school for a minute each morning when my kindergartners fire into the classroom like they have been shot out of a cannon. they are so (SO!) excited to see where the elf has "landed" from the night before...and their conversations about him are even better. my own kids hunt around in the morning looking for our home elf "snowflake" and carrie usually claps and squeals when she sees her...ella's eyes light up and i usually need a defibrillator to resuscitate my heart. (so there.) i have gotten away from posing him/her in 328 different positions, cause i've realize that just the fact that it has "magically" moved from one place to another is enough in the eyes of a child.
warren has also been wayyyy wound up about the holidays this year...and has decided to griswold the front of the house again. instead of using staples like clark, he used tacks this time. i didn't know what i was going on...until i went outside and it looked like jolly st. nick took puke on the cedar shakes. (colored lights a plenty.) he's also back in the coupon game and told me that he wants to convert carries bedroom into his "couponing room." i said, "let's not and say we did." (ps. this is a classic quote that my dad always said growing up) he replied with, "you're not letting my coupon skills flourish. they are being bottled up!" (if you don't believe me i'll show you the text.) he gets real passionate about shit like colored lights and coupons and sometimes i don't have the energy to be his cheerleader in that regard. however, when my family was here, they were alllllll about egging him on about both the colored lights (my dad suggested adding candy canes) and the coupons (my mom got wayyyy excited about the free toothpaste) so later on yesterday morning, when i was still laughing about the tree falling down, i got another snapchat from fen...sending me into a another fit of laughter. i was sitting at my desk at lunchtime and thought, will this nonsense ever end with her? she's balls deep in wedding planning and i'm along for the ride...i can't imagine what fun stuff is around the bend. meanwhile, if you can't get into the holiday spirit...you are more than welcome to come to my house, my classroom, or even fen's to see the previously fallen tree. go hard or go home is my motto this time of year...otherwise, you are just missing out. man i love the holidays.
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