the only plus side to this nonsense is that my husband and i have been somewhat sharing the responsibilities. however, he has said repeatedly, "why did we do this to ourselves!?!?" and if you think about it...we are the ones that signed them up for these activities, so it really does come back on us. but, how can you not? i have graduated with a doctorate in dirty diapers and have now moved on to a masters degree in soccer mom. most moms that i've talked to have said that just like every other phase, i will "miss this" when it's over when they stop needing me for my driving skills. people said that about the bottles, the diapers, the sleepless nights...everything. truth is, i DO miss those things. when i see pictures of either of my kids as babies i become overwhelmed with sadness that i will never get those babies back. i constantly battle with wanting another kid at some point, and then in the next minute i think about how that might take me right over the edge. ella has become so damn independent lately and such a help with her sister, that there has been a definite shift where things have become easier. i mean, i'm not sitting around eating bon bons and wondering what to do with all my free time, but i am able to get more stuff done and they can do stuff like dress themselves and use the bathroom facilities without my help. (i can breathe again.) if you would've told me this 4 years ago as i had new born and a 2 year old flouncing around, i wouldn't have believed you. new moms...it does get easier and it happens. fast.
so here we enter another week of running around like aholes for our kids' activities. after a weekend of whooping it up for my birthday, i'm feeling barely human. i love how when i was younger a hangover lasted like a couple hours...now it takes me like 3 days to feel normal. (days!) maybe by tomorrow i'll have my shit together. who knows. as i sat in the heat of of the sun at soccer practice for the second night in a row, i tried to take it all in. i talked with the gym teacher at my school today about all the running around i'm doing after school each day and she said, "i don't MISS THAT AT ALL!" (whoa!) but she said, "you know what? i hate when mom's always say they wish their kids were a certain age. i think we should all enjoy the moment and each and every minute that we can while our kids are the age they are. it makes more sense that way." you know what? she's right. each phase and stage in our kid's lives is fleeting, so if we keep wishing them to be a certain age (whether it be older or younger)...you are literally going to be missing the present moments. just because i stated that, doesn't mean it doesn't still suck balls to be driving around like a chauffeur in the present moment. (it does!) it just means i should be trying to enjoy being a chauffeur cause soon enough my kids are going to driving themselves around...and then i'll be sitting there worrying about them and wishing i was driving them again. parenthood is a constant kick in the pants in that regard. they make kids cute for a reason, and with cargo as cute as this i can't imagine anything different in this moment. also, when feeling overwhelmed...i use meditation and relaxation techniques to keep me sane after these long days. just kidding, i'm on my second glass of wine.
