favors

so recently, butch has been doing really nice things for me. not that he doesn't always do nice things...he's a nice typa guy, but he's been doing things he normally doesn't do (and i'm not complaining, at all). for instance, last week when i got home from the gym, he had dinner made for us and was also feeding the kids. normally, i have something for him to throw in the oven or i make it when i get home. then yesterday, i was running errands and i came home to have the whole kitchen cleaned up and he was doing laundry (i thanked him, but was suspicious). finally, this morning i started my car and my tire pressure light was on. i've known for a while that i have a slow leak one of my rear tires, but i've been putting off getting it fixed. when i mentioned the light was on, he offered to take my car to work and then get it fixed on his way home (yes, please!). so three things that have been odd in the past couple of days, three favors...i wonder what the hell he wants. (just kidding...but not really.)

on the way home, he said that he was going to go to a nearby tire shop in our town...but they couldn't get the car in til tomorrow. so he went to another place that was farther away. (he sounded a little pissed, but i let it go.) i said aye aye captain, got the girls home, and was making dinner. my phone rang, i answered, and it was warren. "um, YO. where is your TIRE KEY?!?!" (my whaaaaa???) i had no idea what the hell he was talking about. "the key, for your tire. where is it. for your LUG NUTS. your tire. the KEY," he was rambling and getting hyper. (holy hell) i squawked, "i have no idea. in the glove box?!" now when that came out of my mouth, i had a flash in my brain of what was in my glove box, because fen had been rifling through it a few months ago. i knew that it was filled with miscellaneous junk...and i also knew that this was going to throw butch over the EDGE. i've mentioned before that he HATES my messy car, and gets irate when he has to deal with it. (clean house, messy car.) anyway, he said, "ok...i'll find it!" (boiling a little, i could tell.) and hung up.

i continued to make dinner and ella was running around the house laughing her head off about something (probably the fact that she crapped her pants). carrie was eating cheerios in her exersaucer in the kitchen, smiling at me. all was well on the homefront. until about a half hour later...when butch blew through the door and he was fit to be tied. "why the HELL do you have so much SHIT in your CAR!!??" (whoops.) he goes, "and thanks a LOT for telling me what was in your GLOVE BOX before i let the guys at the shop GO THROUGH IT ALL to find the KEY!?" (oh no.) he said, "thank GOD i told them it was my wife's car...otherwise they would've thought i was some type of CREEP!" he said, "do you know what was in the GLOVE BOX!?" (i was stifling laughter at this point, like biting my lip...cause i knew.) he said, "my GOD there was so much stuff, TRISH, so MUCH!...but my personal favorite was the THONG and the BREAST PADS!...you are one dildo short of a sex shop in there! (voice RAISED) I LOOKED LIKE A GODDAMN CREEP." (two hands on my knees, LOSING it at this point.) he was not laughing, at all. meanwhile, i couldn't breathe. he then said, "and AMONGST all that STUFF, they never found the KEY...so i wasted AN HOUR of my life." (i'm sorry?) and sidebar: both of those things are in my glovebox from when i was pregnant...you never know when you are going to need another pair of undergarments, and the "breast pads" were actually nursing pads. (it's been that long since i've cleaned out my car...oy.)

we ate dinner in silence, other than ella talking about everything she could remember from her day. i helped him give them a bath. (i didn't want to blow a gasket.) after the kids were in bed, i got a shower and then went downstairs to find him on the couch, drinking a brew. he shook his head at me and said, "i'm done with the favors...you are on your own with that one." he added, "but with this snowQUESTER we are supposed to have, i want you to get it done tomorrow." mr. weatherman himself has been obsessing the past couple of days about this storm we are supposed to get in maryland. in fact, he woke up this morning giddy as a school girl blabbering on about it. i was half awake (due to a carrie wake up call at 2am) and just nodded through the whole forecast. he proceeded to then show me maps and videos about the trajectory of the storm. (still nodding.) as i was brushing my teeth, he was filling me in on inch totals. (still nodding.)

his snowbeard is out in force and he is banking on at least one day off of school. i'll believe it when i see it...the weathermen know nothing. all i know is, i would've paid good money to see him standing there in his khaki pants, button down and boat shoes...while the guys in the garage were dissecting my mess of a car looking for that tire key. their facial expressions when they saw those underwear must've been priceless. he also mentioned there was a little asian man among them, giving him weird looks the whole time. (haaaa!) i think it's safe to say my favor run is over at the moment...but it was totally worth the laughs.