octopus

two monumental things happened this past week in my house. carrie started consistently sleeping through the night...and ella started consistently climbing out of her crib. it's it just awesome how kids do this shit simultaneously. i mean, what are the chances of both of those things happening the same week? well, with my children...i'd say pretty high. i walked into ella's room one morning and there was a mysterious minnie mouse in bed with her and i knew damn well that it wasn't in there when i put her down the night before. i said, "um...how did that get in there?" she said, "um...i dunno." i said, "did you climb out of your crib?" she said, "maybe." i then gave her "the look." the look that says...you better not do that again or i'm going to go mommy psycho on you. she looked back at me as if to say, yeah, okay...i'll be doing this nightly, so just get used to it. (awesome.) that same morning, i left her in her crib and went over to get carrie and change her diaper. i peeked into ella's room and said, "i'm going to put carrie in her carseat and then i'll come back and get you." she replied (i kid you not), "WELL WHAT DO YOU HAVE TWO HANDS FOR?!!?" (excuse ME!?) she's two...i suspect that her teenage years are going to be pretty awesome.

along with my two year old's shenanigans, i'm pretty sure penelope was plotting some shenanigans as well. i came home one day from work and there was a banana peel ever so delicately laying on our living room floor. mind you, there were three banana's in the fruit bowl and she somehow took out one (from the bunch), peeled it, and ate it. was she laying around doing a cross word puzzle and got a sudden hankering for fruit? what the hell goes on here when we aren't home? i picked it up and said, "what'd you do!?" and she ran for the hills. i showed butch the perfectly peeled fruit and he just shook his head. shit gets weirder around here everyday. (and that's how i know i'll never run outta stuff to write about.) the cat also barfed upstairs on our white carpet, so that was also a tasty treat to come home to after working all day. i love my pets, but goddamnit...they can be assholes. that night, i came home, cleaned up a banana peel, cat puke, made dinner, did 2 loads of laundry, put an escape artist and her sister to bed...and then poured myself a glass of wine. (par for the course.)

so on this mother's day...i want what every mother wants. more arms (ala octopus) and a day to just relax. relax and do nothing. i cannot tell you the last time that happened...well, wait, i can. i was seriously sick with the plague. (so it wasn't enjoyable.) even if i had a day to do nothing, i could always find something to do. there are five billion things to do at all times when you are a mother and most of those things are for the little people in your house, or your husband. you get used to being a housekeeper, a laundry maiden, a lunch packer, a booboo kisser...so many roles, so little time. i know i complain a lot about motherhood, about all of the bullshit in entails...but really, i know i was born to do this. i still question my ability to not turn my kids into adult axe murderers (on a daily basis)...but i think all moms do this. i think we always question if we are doing things right, that we are not screwing up our kids in some way. i think you have to do your best with what you know and what you have...and then hope for the best. things have a way of working out.

my mom and i circa 1982

my own mother has taught me that i need to be flexible, that i need to tell my kids i love them everyday, that i need to make time for myself, and that i need to laugh while doing so. we don't see eye to eye on everything, and most definitely did not when i was a teenager. however, as an adult...she is one of my very best friends and i respect her more than she knows. she had and raised three kids...and she survived. (that's enough for me.) actually, i have a mutual respect for all mothers. your life and outlook changes significantly when you have children...as it should. you question yourself everyday...and if you don't, your two year old will ask enough questions for the both of you. we have a beach picnic for lunch planned, and a seafood extravaganza for dinner. i got a card from ella and carrie this morning, and it had $50 in it. (cash.) my husband thought cash was a good idea for a mothers day gift...we share a bank account. (oh, warren.) so today, i raise my glass to my own mother, to all the mothers i know, and to myself. motherhood is a wild ride...and one i don't want to get off of anytime soon. cheers...with all 8 arms.

the cash fluttered out to the floor.