cheeseburgers

so, i debated on sharing this...but then thought why the hell not, i share everything else. and maybe, someone can relate or maybe you don't give a rats ass...either way, here goes nothing. so i mentioned in a previous post that i have a goal to wear a bikini this summer. (yikes.) i have just wrapped up the first month of being more contentious about what is going in my mouth, and also completed a months worth of workouts. truth be told, i feel pretty awesome. the exercising piece is not very hard for me...because i look at it as time for myself. something i can do for myself and no one else. i think moms get burnt out because they get so tired of taking care of everyone and everything else. you put yourself last, not because you want to...but it feels selfish not to. the little people that live in my house can't take care of themselves, and the portly husband also struggles with it as well. (not to mention the cat and dog, who can't take care of themselves either.) it's exhausting. therefore, the gym (or a run) is actually like a vacation for me. even though i'm usually thinking about stuff i need to get done around the house, or other responsibility type things...i still enjoy it. i'm alone, endorphins are pumping, and i'm actually having fun. (really.) today at the gym a younger guy gave me a wink and a wave...i smiled back, but was thinking...easy young feller, you don't want to ride this crazy train. i have more baggage than you took with you to your freshman year of college. (trust me.)

now as for the nutritional piece, i live with a man who would eat meat and potatoes until it came out of his ears. he also loves junk food, fast food...any type of food, really. when i left for the gym yesterday, he was on the couch slamming a container of heluva good dip and a bag of ruffles. (beer in his other hand.) he looked up when he saw me and was like, "i just don't get why you would want to go to the gym. it's saturday! want some chips instead??" (no, warren...i don't want any chips.) i told him i would be back in an hour and he goes, "wo, that's a serious workout." (ummm..not really.) he had also confessed that two days this past week, he stopped at wendy's on the way home from work and got a cheeseburger, ate it in the car, and then threw the wrapper outside in the recycling bin so i wouldn't see it. (what the hell.) he was laughing hysterically when he told me this, and said i just wasn't making enough food for him for dinner and he was hungry. he also stated that for every pound i lose, he was going to gain two. (awesome.) so you see where i am going with this, i don't have much nutritional support at home...my husband just doesn't care. he revels in his pleasantly plump figure and always states that he's going to die from something, and he sure isn't going to be hungry when doing so. (dear lord.)

the other piece to this was the fact that i decided to cut out booze during the week. i will say, the first week was pretty hard. i was used to having a glass (or five) of wine after dinner every night. butch usually comes in the door and cracks a beer after work (and his secret cheeseburger), and has two or three. so this became part of our nightly routine. after the first week though, i was actually sleeping better and feeling better...so i didn't really want or need it. (however, when friday rolls around...you bet your sweet ass the wine & coors lite's a flowin'...and the past couple of weekends, i did it up on friday night, so didn't even drink on saturday night.) however, this past week on thursday...friends of mine came over to watch grey's anatomy (don't judge.)...one of those friends being fen. so i was sitting on the couch, butch was on his third guinness and my friend walks in the door...and proceeds to whip a water bottle full of white wine out of her purse, i guess poured from her box at home? (yesss.) then, fen saunters in the door with a plastic miller lite cup full of red wine and stated she wasn't sure if i would have any in the house. and so you see, being on the wagon is also a difficult task in my world. i remember being pregnant and thinking everyone around me had a drinking problem. that thursday night, i did give in and had one glass of wine...and my two friends and husband actually cheered and clapped when i poured myself a goblet. (ayeayeaye.)

and so, as the first month of this business comes to a close...i am feeling pretty stellar. i am down 7 pounds, and seeing changes in my body and my overall health. (woot.) i have set goals for myself in february and will strive to meet them, despite the challenges that my (crazy) life throws at me. (i am motivated by you people who also share fitness goals...that's why i'm sharing mine.) bring on month 2...along with a side platter of secret cheeseburgers for my husband.

one month done.