shots

so i had to take carrie to the doctor today just to get weighed (or so i thought). little did i know that not only were they going to weigh her, but also examine her and then the nurse let me in on a little "surprise" that she needed her first shot. (she had shots in the hospital, but i didn't have to witness them.) i cannot say how very sick i am of the shot charade, and i've only been in the parenting game for 2 years. (i don’t know one mother that goes…”ooooo shots! I can’t wait!” upon walking into the doctors office with their kid.) it starts when they are just out of the womb (ala carrie) and doesn’t stop until…well ever. (it seems.) what boggles my mind is how in the hundreds of years they’ve been giving shots to children, they haven’t come up with some less torturous way to administer vaccines. i mean, when they are really little you tell yourself they don’t know what’s going on and it’s just a pinch. (yeah, okay…) then, when they are able to understand (like ella) you explain it the best you can. (“the nice nurse is going to physically assault you with a sharp needle and it’s going to hurt, but i don’t want you to cry.”) ugh.

even as a young adult preparing for college, i went to get my mandated shots and i passed the hell out...never been a fan of needles. (not during the actual shots, but after.) my mom was writing the check for the copay at the end of the visit and i slithered down the wall in the lobby like i’d been hit on the head with a billy club. the last thing i remember is my mother (who doesn’t deal with crisis well..) yelling, “HELP! HELP!” when i came to, she was standing over me with several nurses blinking back tears. i'm pretty sure i laughed. (eighteen years old and passing out from shots…winning!) anyway, in a weird ironic twist of events...3 months later (with my new found college freedom) i proceeded to get my tongue pierced. with a large needle. (i know, doesn’t make any sense to me either…) when i came home for the weekend, i stuck my tongue out to show my mom (who had no idea i’d done this) and this time she was the one that looked like she’d been assaulted with a billy club. she dropped the laundry basket she was carrying. and screamed. parenting is just so awesome.

this all being said, for the sake of all children (and mothers everywhere) who can’t handle the prick of a sharp needle into delicate skin….someone (future doctor friends...kaney? morty? anyone?) please think of another way to administer vaccines. and please try to do this before i lose my mind or before my children go to college...and one of them inevitably comes home with her tongue pierced.