boogieman

it's been about 6 weeks since ella has woken up in the middle of the night. however, my own sleep habits have been rather shitty in those past 6 weeks (due to my large proportions), so i haven't really been able to enjoy it. she decided to break her streak last night and not only not go to bed at her normal hour (7:30pm), but also get up repeatedly throughout the evening. when i put her in her crib, she immediately stood back up and said, "NO!". (oh yes, she's talking now...talking a. lot.) i walked out of the room like helen keller, hoping she would get my drift. i didn't hear anything else until about 8:30pm when we were sitting on the couch and butch said, "did you hear something?" we muted the tv and heard, "MOMMY! DADDY! MOMMY! DADDY!" (oh crap.) so butch goes up...her binky had "fallen" out of the crib and she wanted it, when he went to hand it to her...she grabbed his arm and  clung to him like a fly on a glue trap. (enter beginning of a painful evening...) 


at about 9pm, we put her in bed with us...hoping that she would go to sleep and we could sneaky snake her back over to her crib without any problems. as we laid there, the dog (who was having wicked gas problems all day) busted ass. (it reeked like the day they serve broccoli in the school cafeteria) i smelled it, i knew butch smelled it...but we didn't say a word (hoping ella was falling asleep). then...out of ella's mouth flies (really loud and squawky) "A BUTT!? A BUTT!?" as in, i smell a butt..whose is it? i lost it. butch lost it. ella lost it. it took a few minutes for all of us to get it together...and yell at the dog to get the hell out of the room. shortly after several shots to the ribs and one swift kick to butch's groin...our evil parenting planned worked, she fell asleep. i carried her over around 11pm. fingers crossed this was the last i'd see of her beautiful face until dawn.


no such luck. around 2pm, i heard her whimpering in her crib and left her go until it turned into full blown screams. i went over and you would've thought the boogieman himself did his own personal show for her prior to me coming in the bedroom. there was snot all over her face, tears streaming down her cheeks, and i asked her what was wrong. "I dunnnooooooooo." was the answer. well i don't know either, kid, but i'm tired as hell so let's get to the bottom of this. back in the bed with us she came...and i gave her some ibuprofen for good measure. as she quieted down, i suddenly heard sirens outside. lots of sirens. loud sirens...like they were in our backyard. butch got up and looked out the window in the bathroom...and then proceeded to give me a blow by blow about what was happening. news anchor style he started stating, "there are 3 firetrucks and an ambulance...a man is yelling...he sounds mad...there are people with flashlights." easy dan rather...come back to bed. 


at 4am, ella was still awake. i was pretending to be asleep and she was hovered over me saying, "hi? mommy? hi?" all the while prying my eyelids open with her toothpick fingers. it was at this point i realized that i was not going to be able to function at work the next day and got out the computer to put in for a substitute. i also decided that i would try to put her back into her bed. by some glory grace of god...she went back in without a fight. (maybe she could sense i was ready to lose my shit?! who knows.) at 8am, i went into get her after hearing her talking. this is what i found:

i'm pretty sure this stands for "kiss my ass" in toddler language. she was laughing her head off, too! also notice that she has georgey the monkey and minnie the mouse comfortably 'tucked in' and minnie is complete with a binky hanging out of her mouth. i asked her again why she was up all night...she said, "i dunnnooooooo" again. she better "know" tonight, or i'm going to lose it. i feel like the walking dead. part of me thinks that she knows something is up...that her kid sister is ready to make an appearance any day now. toddlers are like dogs and bees...they smell trouble. 


on a side note, it's probably a good thing i didn't venture into work this morning. i got a text from a coworker that the school building was locked (with no one to open it) until 8am and everyone had to wait outside (with all of the kids). in this heat, i would've given birth in the parking lot. secondly, navy graduation is today and with ella's sitter a mile from the stadium, i could've gotten caught in mega traffic when picking her up later. third, the dog is still having stomach issues and wants to go out every 5 minutes...pretty sure i would've come home to a shit storm had she been left alone for 9 hours. everything happens for a reason, i suppose. however, that boogieman better not come again tonight for a live viewing in ella's bedroom...because he will have to answer to a very irate, very pregnant lady. pretty sure i could scare the shit out of him with merely just a look.