antigua

Letter from a parent:

March 2nd

Good Morning Mrs. S,

My daughter, Jane, needs to be excused from school from March 7-March 21, 2012. We have to travel to Antigua because my dad passed away on February 25th. The funeral service will be Monday, March 12th, but i will need to spend a few days after with my mom and family there. If there is any work that Jane can complete while away, please send it along and she can do it while we are away.

Please do not share this with her; she knows that he passed away, but she is not aware that we will be traveling and I do not want her to start harassing me.

Thanks for all you do,

Mrs. M

My response:

March 2nd 

Dear Mrs. M,

Thank you for your note, and I am so sorry for your loss. I will send Jane's work home prior to your trip.

However, I am asking for one plane ticket to Antigua in exchange for my silence. I deal with a slew of 5 year olds on a daily basis, so I fully understand your wish of not being harassed. Should you not comply with my request, I will leak this valuable information of your travel plans to your daughter over the next couple of days.

Warm Regards,

Mrs. S 

yesterday, i received a phone call from the mother...after hysterical laughter, she said she believed that i was too far along in my pregnancy for such a trip...but was there anything else she could do to assure my silence?

my answer? i will also accept cash.

"Laughter is an instant vacation. " -Milton Berle