yokozuna

over the past couple of weeks, butch has been laughing his ass off because he taught ella to do the "banzai drop." apparently it was a move of yokozuna, a "famous" wrestler...and by famous, i mean fake. (WWF, style.) the move involves ella standing high on top of our couch and then dropping her tush onto the pillows, butt first. it's basically a butt drop from a high place. so anyway, butch thinks this move is great and so does ella who laughs her head off when she does it. however, last night, it wasn't so funny. (well, at least not to butch anyways...) he was laying in ella's room on the floor, talking to his mom on the phone when yokozuna herself (complete in a sumo diaper) got up on the sofa in her bedroom and banzai dropped...right onto butch's nutsack. he didn't even see it coming, which made it so much worse. i was in the bathroom across the hall, giving carrie a bath...when i heard a girlish scream and "ohhhh elllaaaa nonononono. WHY did you DO that!?" i grabbed carrie out of the tub and ran over, yokozuna was sitting on the floor stunned and her father was curled into the fetal position holding his man parts. i said, "what is going on over here!?" he moaned, "she did the banzai drop...on my BALLS!" (i'm sorry, but that is awesome.) well that was it for me, i had a small seizure...he was not laughing, at all. actually, i think i saw tears. (pansy.)

ellazuna

shortly after the ball smash, both kids went to bed (yay bedtime.) soon after, i passed out...and then woke up to carrie squawking at 12:16am. i let her go for a while, but then when she really started wigging (and i feared she'd wake up the other one..) i went and got her and fed her a bottle. normally, i can put her back in her crib and she goes back to sleep. not last night. last night she thought it was an awesome time to "hang out" with me. (not cool, girlfriend.) all smiles, talking her baby talk...for about an hour. even though she doesn't use a binky, i gave her one to chew on (teething maybe?) and at one point she lost the pacifier. i was feeling around blindly in the bed for it and i thought i had it...then i heard, "whyyyy hellloooooo!" out of my husband. i didn't grab the binky, it was his...PENIS. (jesus h. christ.) he then said, "that was not a binky." (yes, i'm aware.) he started snort laughing. carrie was still smiling. (holy hell...everyone just go to sleep.) she finally fell back to sleep around 2am...and then so graciously woke me up about 4:45. (so to be clear, i've been up since about 4:45am after not sleeping well all night. i feel awesome.) meanwhile, she fell back to sleep in the carseat on the way to the sitters at 6:30, while i headed to work to deal with more crazy children. (is it wrong to kinda hate a baby? because i kinda did.) when she was in her carseat prior to leaving, she was kinda pissed off (tired, of course) and crabby...making a pissed off baby noise. i was in the kitchen making my breakfast and butch was 'saying goodbye' to her. when i walked around the corner after he left...i found her like this. apparently he thought every toy within arms reach would make her stop squawking.

on the way to work, i heard "don't stop believing" ala journey on the radio. i cranked it, and for a minute, i WAS that small town girl livin' in a lonely world....except of smellin' of wine and cheap perfume, i was smelling of coffee and baby spit up. (oy.) my brother called me in the early AM and we had a chat, i love that it is perfectly acceptable (as adults) to call each other at like 6:30 in the morning just to "talk." i wearily said, "hello." when i picked up the phone and he yelled, "TOP O' THE MORNIN' TO YA!!!!" (easy bro.) moreover, the children at school today were reminiscent of caged animals...due to indoor recess and the rain the past 3 days. (somedays, i feel that i work at a zoo rather than a school.) they are completely bonkers. (as am i.) tonight was one of my weekly nights that i get to go to the gym. (fist pound.) and i although i was looking forward to working out, i almost skipped it altogether to go home and take a nap. (glad i didn't.) when i got home, yokozuna and her sister were playing out in the living room, probably plotting their next scam. butch exclaimed, "the snow hammer is coming down, baby!" as i walked into the kitchen. (he's obsessed with the weather on a daily basis and sent me multiple emails today regarding it.) we are due to get some snow tomorrow in MD (FINALLLLYYYY. if it is going to be winter give me some snow, damnit.) and i am crossing my fingers, toes, and wearing my pj's inside out...hoping for a 2 hour delay or a snow day. (yes, i am a grown adult and still get just as excited for a snow day as a kid.) i have decided to encourage my husband to do the same in regards to the pj's, or hell, just wear some...so that i don't mistake his penis for a pacifier two nights in a row.