vacation

so today is the first day of my christmas "vacation." something they don't tell you in the parenting books is that after you have children, you will never have a true vacation again. kids are awesome, but there is nothing relaxing about them. they are a lot of goddamn work, actually. the words vacation and children are opposites...i know this to be true. last night, butch and i got home from work and both cracked celebritory beers...bottles clanking for the start of our long holiday break. meanwhile, ella was running around the house doing laps, laughing her head off like a maniac for no apparent reason. carrie was in the exersaucer staring at her, wondering what gene pool her sister actually came from. (the looks that my 6 month old gives my crazy 2 year old are priceless.) we fed the kids, gave them baths, and laid them away in their mangers for the night. (or so we thought..)

at about 9pm, we were on the couch about a few deep and ready to dive into the red wine, and over the monitor we heard carrie squawking...when she went into the ugly cry, i went upstairs and scooped her up. snot was all over her face and i realized at that moment that she was getting sick. (joy.) i brought her downstairs and plopped her on the couch. butch came out of the bathroom and said..."what the...!? why is she down here..." i said, "i think she's getting sick. she's snotty." he replied, "well this is a great start to the break, huh?" yes, it is just awesome. after about another hour, i took her upstairs and decided that i was just going to go to bed. i laid down and at about 11pm, i heard ella losing her mind. (expletives were flying around in my head, i promise.) i went over to console her, and same snotty deal as the other one. (2 for 2.) although carrie slept through the night with minimal interruptions, ella was up and down a multitude of times. both of us looked like the walking dead, trying to comfort her...at one point we made eye contact and just laughed out loud. the zombie apocolypse played out right here in our house last night, how fitting.

when i saw 3am on the clock, i decided to go over to ella's room (she was playing/crying in our bed...still) and lay on the floor. as i grabbed my pillow and walked out of the room, i heard her ask butch if she could have a cookie. a cookie at 3am. (a goddamn cookie.) i turned around and said, "did she just ask for a...." he just said, "yes." (dear lord.) i decided to solicit the help of curious george at about 5am, when i put the dvd (ella calls them deebeedeebees) in the laptop in our bed, i hoped she would lay and watch. she did, for about an hour and then decided it was time to go downstairs. so to be clear, on our first day of "vacation" we were up actually earlier than if we went to work. (parenthood problems.) as i was sitting here writing this, butch was making breakfast and set off the smoke alarm. as the loud beeping was echoing through the house, i didn't even bat an eye. carrie started laughing as she saw her father flailing a dishtowel over his head to wave the smoke away, and ella put her hands over her ears and was yelling "what's that noise, people!" fa la la la la la...what. the. hell. is going on in this house.

with smoke alarms and two sick kids, day one seems to be as promising as the first night of "vacation" was...i can't wait to see what the next 11 days have in store for us. my family enters the scene again next week, just adding to the plethora of shenanigans. (i'll be sure to have the boilo properly labeled and removed from the fridge...so it does not end up in ella's sippy cup again.) to those of you without children that are on christmas vacation...enjoy it. to those of you with children on christmas "vacation"...enjoy it. (although my house is crazy, it is nothing compared to the week i had at work that included a gaggle of five year olds hopped up on sugar and santa. holy cats...i think i went through a whole bottle of advil.)

i'm currently looking at this scene. yes, ella is wearing butch's shoes (she's understandably exhausted) and mickey mouse is serenading us from the television. (but hey, better than listening to a smoke alarm first thing in the morning.) butch jumped into the living room and sing songed..."it's the most wonderful tiiiiiimeee of the yearrrrr!," just as carrie sneezed and blew pears and snot all over me. things can only get better (or more ridiculous) from here, christmas vacation commence...godspeed to all those involved.