trifecta

ella is sick, it's just about my time of the month, and my inlaws are coming into town tomorrow...it's pretty much the makings of the perfect storm. don't get me wrong, just because my inlaws are part of this trouble trifecta, does not mean that i dislike them...because i don't. they are good people. however, it just adds stress of me having to make sure everything is clean and everything is "prepared" for their arrival. (my mother in law is one of the cleanest people i know and even though she says she "doesn't care" what the house looks like...i know better.) half the time it looks like toys 'r' us threw up all over the place, but i at least want it to be vacuumed and dusted. also, monday morning at about 5am i heard screams come from ella's room...this child loves sleep and i knew damn well she was not "waking up for the day"...i could tell from her cries of annoyance that she was sick. (damnit.) i got her out of bed and brought her over to our bed, snot and all. she was boiling hot and extra irritated. butch rolled over and stared at her, and me. i said, "well it looks like one of us will have to stay home today." i knew damn well that he didn't feel like going to work because he was at the steelers/ravens game with fen the night before. he said, "well i guess i can take off..." (i know you want to, so shut up.) he went online and got a substitute and ella was begging me to lay with her. why is it that every other minute in her days, she wants her dad....but when she's sick, she wants me? it's such a kick in the vagina.

anyway, i decided to take carrie to the sitter anyway, because i didn't know what kind of tricks ella had up her sleeve for butch and i surely didn't want to hear about how "rough" his day was. and so, at 6:15am i woke carrie up, strapped her smiling head into the carseat and took her to the sitter. i forgot how quiet a car ride can be without a 2 year old in the backseat. "what's that mommy?!" and "green means go, red means stop" and "yo tarrie, how are you today?!" she talks a lot, and i love her to death, but i'm just not a talker in the morning. (ever.) i made it to work and at about mid morning, i texted butch to see how ella was doing. the conversation went as follows:

and then 20 minutes later:

i knew when i got home he was going to be a mess. and he was. i came in and ella was playing,  he was on the couch and looked like he just got home from the vietnam war. (the only thing that was missing was the bloody fatigues.) i said, "so how was your day?" (i knew damn well how it was...) "well, she puked, she cried, she was a mess...and i feel terrible." (you look terrible.) i laughed a little bit and said, now what do you think makes things so different for women than men? why do you think this was so hard for you? "we have different DNA, trish...it's just not the same..." (bahaha.) i said, "did she nap at all?" yeah...from like 12-2:40" (that's half the day in my book...) i said, "well that's good!" he said, "yeah, but i had to do the stuff on your list, too." i did leave him a list...and i only do this because in the past i've gotten irritated when stuff i think should be done, never would get done. this is what was on the list. 1. unload and reload dishwasher (maybe a 10 minute job) 2. fold laundry in dryer (maybe another 10 minutes) 3. empty trashcans upstairs. (5 minutes tops.) so there is a half hour extra...give or take. what did he do with other 2 hours during her nap time is beyond me. (i thought it best if i didn't ask.)

i made dinner, bathed both kids, and put them to bed at 7:01. at 7:02 i was in the car heading to the liquor store to replenish my box of wine. at 7:07 i returned home, and my first glass poured out of it's glorious spout by by 7:10. (if you think i'm joking, i assure i am not.) don't judge me, it was needed. warren wanted a glass, too, (i mean, sheesh, he just got back from 'nam)  and we ended up finding national lampoons christmas vacation on television. (one of the best movies ever, in my book.) around 9pm, we went to bed. (party animals.) anyway, i decided to take off of work today because ella was still running a fever when we went to bed. when she woke up, however, her fever was magically gone. (praise the lord...because fevers can turn kids into mini hannibal lectors.) i made breakfast, we played, i cleaned, took both of them to the doctor, did laundry, got out their winter clothes, fed them lunch and then they went down for a nap. (i love nap time.) however, they didn't sleep long and were up by 2pm. (blah.) during that hour that they were both asleep, i made myself a yummy lunch and had a glass of wine. (what the hell.) when they woke up we went for a jog, to the nearby beach, and played some more. i cooked dinner and we ate by 5:15. i'd be willing to bet that a lot of people with children have had days that look similar to this. it's pure craziness. and if you let it, it will make you crazy.

so all this has happened in the past two days, and then my inlaws will enter the scene tomorrow evening. i think it's a safe bet that the elapsed time between the time the kids go to bed tonight, and the time my first glass of wine is poured will be much shorter than last night. tomorrow night even faster...maybe i'll just strap the damn box to my back for good measure. i hope the soldier from 'nam is in full warrior gear (making sure his man parts are extra protected) the next couple of days and i can manage to keep the crazy at bay. the perfect storm is a brewin' folks...hopefully none of you are around when it hits. category five for sure.