quarantined

so i was sitting on my bed working on grad work and my first born saunters in sans shirt and says, "when is this going to turn into a belly button?" i looked up from my computer and she was pointing at her nipple. (come again?) i said, "what?" she repeated, "when is this thing going to turn into a belly button!?" i said, "it will never turn into a belly button. it's a nipple." she implored, "well what will it turn into then?" i said, "a bigger nipple." (at this point i couldn't believe this was an actual conversation i was having.) the littler one was sitting on my bed with me just taking it all in on her imaginary clip board. ella said, "so wait, it's going to turn into a bigger nipple and then i'm going to have BOOBIES like YOU!?" i said yes. she asked, "like when?" i said, "like when you are older!" then she points to the other nipple and says, "so when is THIS ONE going to turn into a belly button." (i was at a breaking point.) i half laughed half yelled, "nipples will never turn into belly buttons! they are two different things entirely! one will never turn into the other. not now, not ever!" she laughed at my tone and skipped out of the room with her sister. (holy shit.) butch was at the gym and i was trying to wrap up what i was writing and from across the hall i could hear them giggling and carrying on. i let it go for a while and then i walked over to see what they were doing. (hopefully not coating each other in desitin or some shit.) this is what i walked into:

i yelped, "you have both been sick all week and now you think it's a good time to wear your bathing suits!?" ella was like, "well we ARE in the HOUSE and the easter bunny brought these for us and i think he would want us to wear them." (touche) about the sickness...my kids have been really, REALLY sick all week. i've said it a hundred times, but there is nothing worse then a sick kid. poor carrie had a fever for five days and then ella started with it on monday. we spent our entire spring "break" taking care of them. fen was choc fulla snarky comments about me being off all week and i wanted to scream, 'OFF!? OFF!? as a parent i am NEVER, EVER off." actually, i was more on this week than other weeks because of their constant care. on easter we were at doctors express and then the ER due to a super high fever that wouldn't quit. followed up by two pediatrician visits and hospital grade antibiotic shots. (dr. cocoa wasn't working.) on one hand, i felt so very terrible for my children. on the other hand, the lack of sleep and 24/7 attention was making both butch and i crazy. we were basically quarantined to our house and we only left to go to the gym. both laverne and shirley went through crying jags throughout the day (and night) and the whining was at an all time high. one morning this week, butch rolled over and said, "spring break? yeah right. remember when i used to go to visit my college roommate for spring break?! i used to go to the BEACH...life is not a beach anymore, life's a BITCH." (i laughed like a little girl.)

thankfully, both of my cherubs are feeling better just in time for a trip to pennsyltucky. both warren and i running in a race...with beer at the finish line. (of course.) butch is in decent shape these days, but isn't much of a runner. he thinks it's going to be "easy"...and i think he is going to "die." i'm trying to be supportive, but holy balls man...you don't run. (should be interesting, to say the least.) my parents have so graciously agreed to watch our children so that we can go out to an adult dinner tonight. at about 6pm they are going to hear slamming doors and squealing tires. (have fun nanny and pappy!) after the week we've had, i will never take my children's health for granted again. i have never seen either of them so sick and it was heartbreaking. we had plans to go to the zoo and the aquarium this week...we went no where. (kids are perpetual monkey wrenches.) parenthood is the scariest 'hood i've ever driven through. it can make you elated one minute and question your decision to procreate the next. it can quarantine you to your house, despite the fact that you don't have to work all week and made master plans to do fun things. it can make you have serious conversation about why your kid's nipple will never turn into a belly button. it can make life feel like a real bitch. but let me tell you, all bullshit aside, it's the very best thing i ever did and i can't imagine my life without them. during bathtime last night, they both asked to wear their bathing suits in the tub. in that moment, butch and i realized...if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. bathing suits it is.