love

 

a few weeks ago, fen pulled out her holiday decorations for valentine's day. she's one of those people who decorates for every holiday with the ever so awesome window clings and things of that nature. (knick knacks, too.) after adorning her house in hearts, i arrived for girls night on thursday that week and she said to me, "so what do i tell ella about valentine's day??" she tends to over think things and wanted to be prepared for ella's interrogation of "why are those hearts all over the windows?" i said, "just tell her it's the day where women give their guys BJs and men buy their gals flowers and jewelry..." she smiled at me somewhat, partly trying to figure out if i really wanted her to tell my kid that. i then said smirking (so that it was clear), "just tell her it's a day to celebrate love." fen said, "oh, well i wasn't sure what to say, i mean, i was going to tell her about cupid and stuff but how do you really explain that!?" when talking to a 4 year old about stuff, keep it simple. they will inevitably complicate it with their own questions, so just keep the initial statement as simple as possible. (valentine's day is about love.) sure enough ella skipped in there on friday morning before school and was firing questions at fen. glad she was prepared to answer her and didn't get all flustered. (wish i was a fly on the wall.)

in school, the five year olds i teach also have their own perceptions about love. i enjoy celebrating cupid's holiday with them, mainly because their view about the L-word is not jaded and is blissfully pure. this year i started the conversation by doing a shared writing activity about 'things we love'. (results above.) all of them said these things with a dead straight face. for instance, the little boy that said "giraffes" was looking at me with his big brown eyes and i replied (while biting my lip), "why do you love giraffes?" he said, "well they are soo tall and their long necks are just so cool!" (giraffes weren't on my list, but they are now.) the little girl that said, "lemonade" went on to say it was "delicious and sweet." (i love lemonade, too...especially on a summer day.) cake? babies? dogs? (love. love. love.) this list wasn't generated by the hallmark company, but it is genius. the funny thing is, the very first little girl i called on said "parents" and there was a wave of agreeance that washed over the classroom. they were all nodding their heads and smiling. some were mad because their fellow classmate "stole their word" and they had to come up with something else. sometimes we become so overwhelmed as a parent that we easily remember our kids love pizza and potatoes, but sometimes forget they truly love us as people.

we actually had a babysitter for our own valentine's outing this year and what a better way to spend it...than by watching soft porn on a sunday with bunch of other people. so here's the deal, people are getting way wound up about this 50 shades movie and the truth of the matter is, a movie will never live up to the corresponding book. (ever.) the awesome thing about books is that there are an awful lot of illustrations and assumptions that you make up in your head to go along with the words. that book was so successful because women were able to make mr. grey look exactly what they wanted him to be in their minds. therefore, when he didn't live up to the hype they had in their head..they were disappointed. also, one woman's fantasy of the perfect man may be totally different than another woman's. as for it being soft porn? nah...people got way wound up about that too. i mean, there is sex in the movie but nothing ridiculous. i feel like as a normal person (in general) it is weird to sit in a movie theater with a bunch of people you don't know and stare at uncensored boobs and butts...especially when the lady next to you keeps commenting on the lead character's bush. (that happened.) but the book was racy, so if people expected sesame street to pop up on the screen they must've been sadly mistaken. (big bird was not present.) anyway, after a dinner out sans high chairs and menus you can color on...we saw it. it was good. (the end.)

the next morning we entered real life again as ella woke me up by pulling on my ear lobe. (PULLING ON IT.) i opened one eye and stared at her as she was doing it...in the meantime, she started laughing her head off at my facial expression. (i was not laughing.) who knew that in parenting an alarm clock would wind up being a toddler pulling on your ear lobe!? shortly after, i went over to get carrie when i heard her yelling, 'MMMMAAAAMMMAAAAAAA!!!!" from across the hall. upon changing her diaper, i realized it was on backwards. (backwards.) three thoughts went through my head and they are as follows: 1. this is funny shit. 2. did ella put this on her? 3. did the babysitter do this? and so i asked carrie why it was on backwards and in a high pitched voice she yelled, "I DUNNO!??!" so then i asked ella and she also said she did not know. after those options were exhausted i texted the babysitter and apologized for not telling her how to properly put on a diaper, i had assumed she knew how to do it. i often assume everyone in the world knows how to change a diaper, mainly because i've been doing it since i was like 11 years old when my brother daisy made his appearance. if there was a diaper changing competition, i would totally win it. after some hilarious banter back and forth, she said she tried to figure it out and put the longer coverage in the back assuming that's where it was needed. (hahhaha!) listen, my kids were alive when i got home...a backwards diaper was not a big deal. (but it is, in fact, funny.)

finally, when looking at many things in our lives...they can best be seen at as a child would see them. when talking about big things like love, they can often be complicated and dramatized by adults. kids are often very eager to talk about things that they love and will readily tell you if they love you. sometimes, seemingly out of no where my four year old will blurt out "i love you" for no apparent reason. i could be sitting there eating a pickle or something and she will lean over and gently stroke my hair and say it. although i am not one of those people that is stingy with the word, if i say it to someone i mean it. i believe love can be seen on different levels though...for instance, the way we love lemonade is different than the way we love volleyball. (it's on the list and the little girl stated it was because the "ball flies so high in the air and it's fun!") despite whatever level of love you experience, hold onto that feeling tightly and don't let it flee. often times we tend to disregard little fleeting moments as nothing, where as they make up the memories that we love. (for instance, in my case, the first real snowfall.) my kids make my patience want to implode often, but this comes second to the fact that they make my heart want to legit explode so many different times during the day. remember that if you are a parent, your children love you just as much as they love pizza and potatoes. more importantly, channel that thought when they are pulling on your earlobe to wake you up before the sun rises...you're gonna need it.