lights

if you can't get into the holiday spirit, i dare you to make a visit to my classroom. the excitement is palpable. i swear if you stuck your tongue out, you could actually taste it in the air. in fact, monday when the kids came back into the classroom from thanksgiving break it was like each one of them was hopped up on some type of holiday upper. (holy hell.) i mean, i kind of set them up for this because i decorated the room a bit, changed our class calendar to december, and welcomed back my classroom elf on the shelf. (hold onto your number 2 pencils, people.) last year was my first dance with this little stuffed guy and let me tell you what, at first i was skeptical. i am aware of the power of a child's imagination and all that, but i never thought i would get the response i did from that group of five year olds. they were so into it that they made me relive my own childhood memories and get equally excited. there is a reason that the elf on the shelf creator is now a millionaire, because the whole thing really is magic. this is also the first year that we have an elf on the shelf at our own house thanks to a hasty "sale" purchase from warren. my own children are so excited about this little guy that it kills me. seriously, it makes me melt inside like jack frost's nuts on a warm day. their facial expressions in regards to the elf are enough. however, their conversations about him are equally awesome. ella looked carrie dead in the eye yesterday and said matter of factly, "he really is magic." carrie smiled and shook her head yes. i was watching this unfold from the kitchen and almost needed a defibrillator to restart my heart. between my classroom elf and my home elf, i'm up to my eyeballs in elf on the shelf and holiday cheer. however, i am truly happy to be a part of it. (granted, it's only day 3...give it time.)

so say you come to my classroom and still aren't excited about christmas, you can shimmy out of your grinch costume and come to my house for more inspiration. it's not just my kids, though, because it seems that the holiday spirit has hit my husband in a big way this year and he has turned into...clark griswold. (i shit you not.) it all started when the neighbors across the street put up some elaborate light show a few weeks before thanksgiving. (for the love of...) i saw his wheels turning, but we never have gone "all out" on lights before, so i thought i was safe. every other year, we had a few strands of lights and the house looked festive. (never anything out of control.) however, i saw after the first day of decorating that he got a little fancy with the original strands and things just stemmed from there. then, everyday when i would get home from work around 4pm, i would see the neighbor guy hanging off a ladder adding more to his house. soon my husband was doing the same thing at our abode after dinner...decorating bushes and trees that have never been touched by a strands of lights ever. at first i was supportive and then i said, "yo, it's starting to look tacky...and by the way, i HATE colored lights!" he basically ignored me and kept adding things here and there like i wouldn't notice. (i noticed, warren.) when my siblings arrived for thanksgiving, my brother's first words when he walked in the door were, "are you having a christmas light competition with the guy across the street?!" butch started laughing and i rolled my eyes. my brother said suddenly, "well he is winning." butch stopped laughing...and then started talking very seriously about getting more lights. (sweet jesus.) my brother lost it laughing.

furthermore, when my dad arrived at my house on thanksgiving eve, he also said the same thing (oh, hell)...sending warren into a tailspin, pining for more strands of lights to make our house look even more ridiculous. everything came to head this weekend when we went to get our christmas tree and we ended up with two...one for the house and one for the PORCH. ("ella wanted it." -butch's words) he also got more strands of lights, and at my father's request (he LOVES to instigate) lights for each window. throw in my grandmother's mechanical mr. and mrs. claus in the bay window and you have a full blown menagerie of holiday puke on our porch and surrounding area. i will say that i know my husband's enthusiasm does stem partly from our own kids' enthusiasm and not just his competitive nature. (their enthusiasm is infectious.) ella has fondly named our elf on the shelf..."elfie." (how original, kid.) we told her she could name him anything she wanted and she said, "i choose...ELFIE." (ok then.) each morning they come downstairs and hunt around for him. i haven't done anything really cool with him yet (just moved him around the house), but nonetheless they have been quite excited. likewise, my kids at school shoot into the classroom like they are being exploded out of a cannon to see where their friend "jack" the elf is. i've said before that there should be a classroom edition of elf on the shelf that comes with a complimentary ritalin salt lick teachers can attach to the doorway for the kids to take a taste before they come in. (you heard me right.) they get sooo wound up, but i figure if i can stand 15 days of being bonkers for the sake of them believing in santa...it's worth it.

so here we are three weeks from christmas eve and i hope by now you are ready for old st. nick to saunter in and throw his belly and beard your way. last night we were sitting on the couch and i happened to look out the window. i said, "umm...why don't the neighbors have their christmas lights on?" butch looked out and said matter of factly, "cause we won." then he proceeded to throw his hands over his head and reference the movie billy madison by saying, "O'DOYLE RULES!" as loud as he could. i shook my head and laughed loudly. later as we went up stairs to bed i said, "do you really think that's why they don't have their lights on!?" my husband turned to me and stated very seriously, "it feels good to be on top. we won." (dear god, the drama.) i don't know when my neighbors will turn the lights back on or what is really keeping them from doing so, but i pray to jesus they don't have some master plan of totally topping anything that my husband has done in some sort of crazy christmas light show down. i don't have the time or the patience for him to be hanging off of the roof like some ass clown in the middle of winter. in the meantime, i will continue to feed off the excitement and enthusiasm of both my classroom kids and my own two children. (oh, and butch.) if you choose to be a scrooge this holiday season, i suggest you man up and embrace your inner child. if you don't, you truly are missing out. i can't wait until pseudo clark gets our electric bill and doesn't have a coupon to pay for it. i'll be sure to remind him of his "O'DOYLE RULES" outburst just a few short weeks before. no worries, though, i'll make sure i have some boilo on hand to lessen the blow...as long as elfie doesn't drink it all before then.