karma

it is said that bad things happen in threes, but i beg to differ. judging from my most recent experiences, they happen in fours. at least i'm hoping that my most recent incident was the last car on the bad luck train. i am a person that believes in karma, but when stuff keeps happening over and over again...with no real rhyme or reason, it makes me wonder what i did to deserve this nonsense. karma has been bending me over lately and taking advantage of me from behind. the following things have happened in this order: first, my phone was stolen (along with 1700+pictures and videos of my kids). then, we got a clog in our downstairs bathroom that caused water laced with feces to flow all over the floor. after that, i ran over an extra large bolt causing me to blow out a tire. finally, in an attempt to save money, i bought a used tire (from a man named cameo) and it was the wrong size...and then cameo was unable to be reached for a refund. you've already heard about the first three incidents in detail, so let me fill you in on the fourth.

on friday afternoon, i called several used tire salesmen and asked them if they had the tire i needed. (no dice.) so, butch got on the phone after work and also called several people. he found a guy who said he could, "get one" and he would call him back shortly. in the meantime, i picked the kids up from work and was headed home. butch got really excited when i pulled in and came out to tell me that he talked to a guy named cameo (cameo) and he had found a tire for me. the guy was going to charge me sixty bucks. ($60 < $200) so we had to go meet cameo at his "mobile shop" out in a town called shady side. (real name of the town, i swear.) believe me, at the end of this story, you will agree that this is an appropriate name of the town we met in...SHADY being the key word. we were meeting friends for dinner and it was out their way, so we piled the kids into the car and headed out to meet him early friday evening. carrie was pissed off for most of the ride and was screaming. (screaming her head off.) cameo's house was about 25 minutes from ours. when we got to his place, butch called and cameo assured him that he would be there in 15 minutes, he told him he was just turning onto muddy creek road. we had just come from muddy creek road, so i didn't understand why we couldn't have met him somewhere closer. (as carrie serenaded us from the backseat with her screams.) when i mentioned this to butch, he wigged out at me and said, "i was only trying to HELP you! YOU could've set this up if you wanted to!" (tensions were high in the SUV.)

i took a deep breath and just said, "why don't we meet him somewhere on the way back through..." he called cameo and we agreed to meet at the swamp circle saloon. (real name of the restaurant.) cameo pulled in a few minutes later and he turned out to be an african american male, i'd say in his 40s, bald head...driving an old lexus and the backseat was full of tires. (mobile shop?) i didn't get a warm and fuzzy feeling from the guy, but he pulled a tire out of his trunk (which was also choc full o tires) and handed it to us. i showed him the tire that had the hole in it and pointed to his tire and said, "so will this one work?" he said, "sure...this'll get you rollin' again." i trusted him. (mistake.) i gave him $60 cash and we went to meet our friends for dinner. we told them about cameo. as i sit here typing this, i know how effing stupid this scenerio sounds. it sounded equally stupid to our friends, who laughed their asses off that we bought a tire from a stranger in a town called shadyside. (shut it.) anyway, the next day i had an appointment with mazda to have the tire mounted. i pulled in saturday morning and the place was packed. i looked for my friend anthony, who i had met earlier in the week. he was also the person i talked to on the phone to make the appointment. when i called i said, "hi anthony, i'm the girl that was there earlier this week who had the large bolt in her tire?" he said, "oh yeah! hi! i've been in the tire business for a long time and never saw anything that large in a tire..i'll never forget that bolt." (oh good. glad it was memorable.)

when i saw him yesterday on that fine saturday morning, we shook hands again and he said, "you can call me tony."i replied, "you can call me trish." up until this point he was calling me ma'am. (i'm 31, not 61.) enough with that nonsense. now we are on a nickname basis, good stuff. i explained to tony that i had bought a (used) tire and i wasn't sure if it was legit. i asked him to check it out. we walked out to my car and upon inspection, he told me it was the wrong size. (mother bleeper.) i told him the story about cameo...he laughed his ass off. (glad someone is laughing.) when we walked back into the service station, he told my story to a couple of the other guys in there. laughs all around. (hardy harhar.) i assured them that i'm not as stupid as i look, and this was an insolated incident. they all eyeballed me and were not buying it. anyways, i ended up having to pay the full $200 for a new tire, and while i was waiting for the work to be done i thought i would give cameo a call. (no answer.) no answer all day, actually. pretty sure i am going to have to eat the $60. (par. for. the. course.) do not buy used tires from strangers out of the back of a beat up lexus. lesson learned.

i'm hoping that this is the last loop of the pain train that i have to endure this month. i'm over forking out cash for mishaps and having to deal with this nonsense on an every other day basis. i'm not sure if karma is done having his way with me, but my rectal region is quite sore from all his abuse. if bad things happen in threes, i'm plus one to the good on incidents. if anything else goes wrong, i very well may lose my mind. (hell, i'm starting to feel like fen!) on the up side, my children now have a tire that we are going to hang from a tree in the backyard. (a sixty dollar tire swing.) cameo took me for a ride and now my children are going to reap the benefits. (how nice.) again, things could always be worse...i know this. crossing my fingers for better luck in the near future. i do know that it's better to laugh, than cry any day of the week about these unfortunate mishaps...so i choose to do the former. hopefully you are laughing along with me, rather than at me. however, if you are laughing at me instead, i hope karma gets you from behind like an inmate with a mom tattoo...and i mean that in the nicest way possible.