debacles

our heating slash air conditioning unit is "on the fritz"...should it decide to stop working we are going to be "up shit creek without a paddle." (tis the season for shit to break.) like every other middle class family, we live paycheck to paycheck and if something large (like the aforementioned thing) should go...we are screwed. every time it kicks on, it's sounds like it's struggling...and you can hear it all the way inside the house. i hold my breath every time it goes on, hoping that it's not taking its last breath. (big debacle) anyway, this has been quite an epic week in our household. we converted ella's crib to a "big girl bed" (ie/took off a side.) now listen, i've come to notice something as my children grow and change. part of me, as a mom, dies a little inside as they become more and more independent. yes, i am thankful that i don't have to do as much shit for them...but it's kinda sad that they "grow out of" that particular phase and they will never go back. so pretty much, when they finally go off to college and gain almost all independence...someone better have a straight jacket and stretcher ready to take me off to the nearest looney bin. ella's graduation to a big girl bed sent me for a loop. (i cried, people.) stuff they don't tell you in the parenting books #212: you want your child to grow up and become more independent, but when they do you will be sad. (what the hell.)

in other news this week, i'm quite certain that my kids save shit to throw at butch when i'm not around. (seriously.) the other day when we had off for snow, i left for one hour to go to the gym. (one. hour.) i had a text when i came out that said, "both kids shit their pants and the dog peed all over the carpet." (oh, good.) then, last night i had my holiday party so i wasn't there for bath time. butch usually does bath with them on a daily basis, but i guess he got carrie out first and got her dressed in her jammies. she was running around upstairs as he got ella out of the tub and dressed. he explained that he heard screams and went in to see that carrie climbed back into the tub (that still had water in it)...in her pajamas and was losing her mind. when i got home he said, "you are not going to believe what YOUR daughter did! (MY daughter.)" i love when they do something wrong and suddenly your spouse had nothing to do with the creating of that child. all of their nonsense is your fault...they are now solely YOURS. (we can't be the only ones that talk like this.) anyways, here's a visual. she is the one that got back in the bathtub with her jammies on, but then decided that this was an awful idea and stood there and screamed. (dear lord.) so like i said, they save shit for butch. (sorry i missed this.)

anyway, exiting out of the bathtub debacle and back to the big girl bed debacle..the first night went great, the second night went great, and then last night there was a little bit of a speed bump in the big girl bed adventure. fen and another one of my friends (let's call her folly) came over to do wine and grey's night. so fen and folly are at my house and we are gossiping and talking like old biddies, when i heard a cry from upstairs and ran up to see ella sitting upright on her bed...tears a flowin. i asked her what was wrong and she just cried. (no words...just snot and tears.) so, i gently tucked her back in, she stopped fussing, and went back downstairs. (butch was in bed, across the hall...but didn't hear a thing.) after my friends left, i went up to go to bed about 11pm (way past my bedtime) and i found this:

i didn't know if she had fallen out of the bed or if she crawled on the floor herself, but it kinda looked like a crime scene. (we were just missing the yellow caution tape.) i felt like i was looking in on the jonbenet ramsey household, minus the beauty pageant pictures. i scooped her up and put her back in bed. i fell asleep immediately in my bed but woke up around 2am to screams again from across the hall. i went into ninja mode and went over to her bedroom. she was laying down, crying, and when she saw me she yelled, "I JUST WANT THE SIDE BACK ON MY CWIB, OTAYYY! JUST PUT IT BACK ON NOW!" (ummm...what?) i explained that we needed tools to do that and i couldn't do it in the dark. "JUST PUT IT ON NOW, MOMMY, WITE NOWWWW!" (holy hell.) i shushed her because if she woke up the other one from across the hall i was in for a whole other world of pain. (no worries, it happened later.) she wouldn't calm down, so i sent in butch to explain why he couldn't put the "cwib" back together at 2 in the morning. i went to our bedroom and said, "YOUR daughter (i went there. YOURS.)....wants the crib back together, you need to tell her no...she won't take no for an answer from me." he shot up outta bed and said (irate and disoriented), "WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?!!?" (whoops.) i dunno. he got her to quiet down and i was just falling back to sleep when i heard carrie screaming like hell across the hall. (whydeargodwhy.) i went over and got her.

when i brought her into our bed she was happy as a clam just smiling and poking me in the face with her chubby finger. games galore for that little gal. (i was not in the mood for games.) butch was just moaning shit next to me, something about hating his life. (we are on the same page, warren.) but anyway, she never went back to sleep, so i've been up since 4am. she thought it was really funny this morning when she went into wake up ella. ella woke up and yelled, "I NOT GET ENOUGH SLEEP!" (really!?) i said, "well me neither lady, so you better sleep tonight!" then she swung and hit me. this isn't her normal nonsense, so i tried to refrain from really laying into her, but i just said, "it's not nice to hit mommy no matter how tired you are feeling." she moaned, "but i'm soooooo tiiiiiwwwweeerrrddddd!" (me too.) so here we are on a friday night, fighting to just stay awake until 10pm so that we don't feel like total losers. jonbenet and her sister are both tucked away in their beds and i'm seriously hoping for a full nights rest. we didn't put the side back on her crib, and hope that she gets used to it soon...like doesn't fall out of it or have a mini stroke in the wee hours of the morning about the bars not being there. i almost believe that i have the only child on the planet that begs to put the bars back on?...but maybe i'm not alone here. (who knows.) 12 days til christmas, people! prayers are welcomed...so are offerings of peace, pinot noir, and heat pumps.