serenity

alright, so i mentioned in my last post that i would like to get back onto the paleo wagon to knock off a few pounds that i've put on in the past couple of weeks. it's only 5 pounds, but this is not my first rodeo with weight gain. five turns into ten, ten turns into twenty, twenty turns into forty...and suddenly you are sitting in a dorm room eating ravioli out of a can and washing it down with natty ice, wondering why pajama pants are the only thing you can fit into to go to class. not saying this happened to me...i'm just saying. (it may have happened.) anyway, weight gain is a sneaky bastard...and for you "naturally skinny" folks, just shut up with any comments you may have. go shove a piece of pork in your mouth and let it stop you from any stupidity that you want to share. i'm very happy that you don't have to worry about working out and watching what you eat...but the rest of the world does, and we hate you for it. (end rant.) so back to what i was saying, i also like trying new recipes because like any other family, we get stuck eating the same old things week after week for dinner. (at least that's what happens at our house.) so this week i tried healthy, paleo inspired, new recipes and thought i would also share them with you. here goes.

sunday
on decided to try a sunday (soup) dinner meal that would also satisfy my garbage disposal of a guy. i found a recipe for pizza soup and thought...what's not to like about it? pizza? good. soup? good. i started cooking in late afternoon while the kids played outside with butch. i love (love) being barefoot in the kitchen, glass of wine nearby, and cooking up something savory on a sunday. (cue country music song.) if my feminist friends are judging me because i said it, then so be it. at least i wasn't barefoot and pregnant, then i could really write my own lyrics. usually, though, i have one of my children hanging on my leg trying to reinsert themselves in my vagina. (does that count?) anyway, this recipe took a little while to put together, so i wouldn't recommend it for a weeknight meal if you are a working mom (or working person) it's more of a sunday afternoon accompanied by a glass of wine type of meal. that being said, putting it together was easy...it just took a couple of steps. the only thing i substituted was regular butter (instead of the ghee) and it turned out bangin. butch shoveled two bowls down his chops. (however, i served his with a side of texas toast...i left that out for myself.) all in all a successful soup that i would definitely make again. winner, winner...pizza soup dinner.

pizza soup

monday
as i arrived home from work, i opened the back sliding door and stepped out into the sunshine with my two little ladies. butch is away, so we played for a good half hour. i stepped back into the kitchen to prep the chicken. as i looked out the window, i saw ella karate chop her sister into the topsoil over her tricycle. carrie is going through an awesome phase where if anyone takes a toy from her, or mildly hurts her, or if a warm breeze knocks her down...she acts as if it's a baby hate crime and loses her mind. screams and cries galore. however, the kid is build like a brick house...so most of it is a huge act, but i ran outside anyway to line the crime scene with yellow tape. i reprimanded ella for karate chopping her sister, and then she started crying for being corrected. so both of my children were screaming bloody murder in the backyard at about 5 o'clock. (all of our neighbors windows were open.) i decided to move my motherhood mayhem inside. anyway, the chicken was really easy to prepare. i didn't use the seasoning they called for, i used italian seasoning instead. next time i would definitely make it using breasts instead of legs. i'm more of a breast woman than a leg woman. (that's what she said.) anyway, if you like artichokes and onions and need an easy weeknight recipe...this is it. so good.

artichoke and pearl onion chicken

tuesday
i felt like hell most of the day. i zoomed outta work a half hour early so that i could get to minute clinic before picking up my children. i told them i was 95% sure i had strep throat. after a strep test, they told me they were 95% sure i did not have strep throat. i have to say i was pissed...i wanted some drugs to knock this illness outta me. my immune system is like a tank. i usually cross no less than 233 thousand germs in the course of a school day. however, it figures i would get sick when butch was gone. (of course i would.) anyways, i arrived home and started whipping up dinner, all the while watching outside to make sure there wasn't a baby hate crime being committed. this dinner was fun to make. i had to buy a new kitchen tool to make it (a julienne peeler) and i felt really fancy using it. (like julia childs, minus the accent.) who knew that you could make "noodles" out of zucchini?...it was totally good. nothing will ever substitute good italian pasta, but this was decent. however, the prior two meals i could totally pull over on my husband...this one not so much. he likes his meatballs served with a pound of pasta, there is no substitute in his book. if you are cutting carbs and want something fun to make, try it. bon appetite.

zucchini noodles & meatballs

wednesday
i awoke this morning to my monthly friend. why do women call it that? their "friend?"there is nothing friendly thing about it. after you have children, you should tell people what is really happening...you are hemorrhaging. i hemorrhage once a month because my uterus hates me for filling it with babies. also, i've been menstruating for 20 years, yet every month it's like some sort of surprise. a crime scene in my pants...and i'm never, ever prepared. this being said, i had to take the kids to walgreens after work and while standing in line my 3 year old yells (while pointing to the feminine products that are the only thing on the counter), "mommy, what those FOR!? they for your BUTT?!" (oh christ, ella.) people were snickering. i just gave her a look. she looked back at me...and wanted answers. i just said yes. so when she is becomes a woman and starts shoving feminine products in her rectum, she can blame me for the confusion. (awesome.) anyways, i had this meal already prepared in the crockpot. (praise jesus.) however, it was quite overcooked when i got home and the chicken was really dry. i made some guacamole to go with it and it sorta saved it...but i'm guessing the cooking time was just too long. if i make it again, i'll probably use bigger breasts. (that's what she said.) if you have time to tweak it, go for it. if not, i'd bag it and try another recipe. fail.

crockpot salsa chicken

thursday
while at target on saturday, i picked up some chicken sausage. now don't get me wrong...i love me some pork sausage, but this stuff was pretty good. i had a bunch of stuff left over from the week's recipes. so i added mushrooms, half a bell pepper, some onion, garlic, and tomato sauce i had left over from the meatball night. i threw all of that in the pan with the chicken sausage and sauteed the shit out of it. it was quite yummy. i have to say, though, that i missed the big crusty roll to serve it on, and it really didn't fill me up...but it was good. i should've made something else to go with it and i didn't. (note to self for next time.) carrie loved the sausage as well. ella told me it looked weird and wouldn't eat it. (ok then.) this is day four of my husband not being home. (batshit crazy.) so after bedtime, i sat down, poured myself a tall glass of wine (or 3). paleo? no. good for the soul? yes. please don't judge me.

garlic chicken sausage

friday.
i love friday. who doesn't? i believe that all human beings are just a bit more pleasant on this day. (for good reason.) it's glorious. i woke ella up and the first words out of her mouth were, "i love friday." me too you little question queen. me too. anyway, i had paleo leftovers for lunch, but planned on visiting my uncle for happy hour after work. i walked into his house and was slapped in the face with a sea of miller lites, crackers, and chicken nachos. if paleo was on the menu, he must of missed the memo. as i was shoveling warm mayo dip and bagel chips into my chops i said, "i haven't had a carb all week." he said, "well listen here, sister...you came to the wrong place. i should probably have a sign on the door that says 'the diet starts monday.' you are gonna lose here." i did kinda lose, but i didn't over indulge. i drove home a short time after and walked into butch housing a pizza with a side of fries. it was the first time i saw him all week and he was loving life. he kissed me...and had cheese all over his chin. (score!) the kids were so happy to see him...and the french fries he provided for their dinner. (zucchini noodles < french fries) anyway, i dipped into the dark side. yeah, well. new day tomorrow.

so here we are on saturday. the good news?...i lost the five pounds i wanted to lose. the bad news? i'm headed to philadelphia (land of the cheesesteak) for a pumpkin beer fest. odds of me putting back on the five pounds that i lost? i'd say pretty high. here's thing...life is about balance. so i ate paleo meals for a week and i feel awesome. will i return on sunday and get back in the game? yes. will i devour a cheesesteak soaked in sauce and onions and wash it down with an oktoberfest brew today? yes. i'm not worried about any of it. i vow not to be that girl in a dorm room wearing nothing but pajama pants. i'm an adult now. (sorta.) i promise to not turn to chef boyardee for my daily staples. i also needed to remember that i actually love cooking and will try not to get back into the rut that we were in prior to my husband's departure. we are taking a "family trip" to trader joe's and target this morning. if last weeks trip to the grocery store solo was like a vacation, then this week's trip is going to be equivalent to a brain aneurysm. can't wait. if there was a sarcasm font, i would've hit it a sentence ago. serenity now.