weight

so this one was sauntering around the house last night in her pajamas eating a freeze pop...while wearing a winter hat. (not to mention the one princess heel.) as summer comes to a close and a new school year begins, i always find that the first couple of weeks are the hardest. (hear me out.) my kids have to fall back into a new routine and they tend to turn it up a couple notches in the hours that they are awake in our presence. (they are making us nuts.) it's like they realize we aren't spending every hour together, so they want to make sure that the time they do have with us is well spent. (wool hat and all.) despite their added nonsense this week, this particular post is not just about them. this post has mainly to do with the pounds i added...to my ass this summer. i have to be the only person on the planet who GAINS 10+ pounds in the summertime. (12, to be exact.) seriously, who does that? (apparently i do.) i actually didn't realize it was a problem until i went to my hometown this past weekend and packed a pair of pants. this particular pair of jeans hadn't been worn since the spring, so you can imagine my surprise when i put them on and i looked exactly like a standing 5 foot stuffed sausage. (stop laughing.) my two stocky legs resembled twin bratwurst and the zipper was screamin' when i attempted to button them. i said a few hail mary's and after a glance in the mirror decided to go ahead and wear a pair of (stretched out) shorts i had on earlier. then i put on a black shirt and hoped for the best. finally, i texted fen some obscenities about my obesity, but she assured me i was just fine. (what are best friends for?)

now listen, as i state this...it's no mystery as to why i gained weight. (even though it's not winter.) i was still running periodically, but i definitely fell off the paleo wagon. when i tell you i fell off the paleo wagon, i mean i fell off with a meatball sub in one hand and a margarita in the other. also, i was very careful not to drop them as i went down, because they were just so delicious. (being honest here.) doesn't matter how much you run, if you are eating whatever you want and drinking your body weight in boxed wine and beer every week...you will gain weight.  unless you are one of those freaks of nature who can "eat slash drink whatever you want" and "never gain weight." (if that is you stop reading right now and go order a pizza for yourself and eat it all, that's what i would do if i were you.) so anyway, when you don't really have a schedule in the summer, it's easy to let loose. (teacher problems.) i would say that the past three weeks were pretty much spent eating whatever i wanted and getting wound up. my inlaws came for a visit, i went to the beach with my family, and then last week i just decided to act like it was woodstock. so after i had the sausage link leg scare in my hometown, i wasn't that shocked. i wasn't happy about my revelation, but i knew there was a reason for it. i actually hadn't stepped on the scale all summer, so when i did on monday my fears were realized. twelve pounds to the good in two months? (really.)

so here's the thing, i'm brutally honest about most things...my weight included. i've pretty much been a bunch of different sizes, but i know for a fact that i felt much better previous to my end of summer blow out. butch also decided to hop on the scale to see what he weighed. a few posts ago i told you that he tipped the scales at 200 and was whining about it. well when 208 showed up in the numbers he just about lost his shit. he didn't go out and buy highlighter colored running shoes this time, but he did tell me he was going to start eating better and not drink so much beer. i shook my head knowing that this probably wouldn't last, but i wanted to be supportive. when i made zucchini stuffed with ground turkey last night, i also made a side of spaghetti for him thinking that he would whack it back like a sumo wrestler. to my surprise, he ate the zucchini first and said, "i'm gonna see if this makes me full and then probably pass on the spaghetti." (well done!) however, when dinner was over and he went up to give the kids a bath...i got busy doing the dishes. i noticed as i got started that there was a container of mayo in the sink. it had the lid on it and everything...and it was still cold. i yelled up the steps, "yo! why is there a thing of mayo in the sink!?" he paused for about 3 minutes and then yelled down, "oh yeah...i forgot to tell you i had a little sandwich when i got home from work!" (whhhaatttt?!) i got home maybe 10 minutes after him with the girls, so he must've made a speed sandwich and stuffed it in. he thought he was going to get away with it, but in his haste put the mayo in the sink. needless to say, i laughed my head off downstairs. (secret sandwiches? yes.)

as a new school year begins, i am determined to plow through these extra pounds i've put on. in other words, put down the meatball sub and pull myself back up on the paleo wagon. i mean, i may still have a margarita every now and then in moderation...but acting like it's my 21st birthday every day is no longer an option. not only has my husband joined me in my plight, so has my best friend fen. she let me know on monday that she was wearing a skirt to work and it was so tight it resembled saran wrap. she also stated that it feels lately like she has shrunk all of her clothes. maybe that's what happened to my jeans as well? (good one.) so we have been swapping recipes and encouraging each other to make better choices through email and such. (misery loves company.) we are still going to get together for girls night once a week, but hopefully not eat a bag of chips and slug back a box of wine to wash it down. (will power.) not sure where warren is going from here, though...i mean, maybe he will work to do better, but i don't think having secret sandwiches is a solution. (just sayin.) the last time i really changed my cooking and eating habits drastically, i also tried to keep him happy. however, despite my efforts, it led him to be hungry (his words) most of the time, so he would stop for secret hamburgers on the way home from work...and then hide the wrappers. (this really happened.) all i know is i am definitely ready to make a conscience effort to be more healthy. i have felt like a heap of shit lately and hope to remedy this with more running and better food. hopefully the two little monkey wrenches i live with fall into a back to school routine sooner rather than later. if not, i may be the one eating a freeze pop, wearing a winter hat and one heel...right before they carry me off to the insane asylum in my plus size pajamas.