if you haven't experienced the pain in the ass phenomenon...pretty sure you aren't a parent. my uncle always said that children are the best thing in the world...but they are an incredible pain in the ass. (i have found this to be true.) while on vacation, you see lots of other people that are part of your world. (the parenting world.) you know their struggles and you feel their pain...and quite honestly, it makes you feel better about your life. i saw one dad chasing his kid around trying to apply sunscreen and i thought, "yep, just did that upstairs in the condo." another mom on the elevator had to go back up 3 flights with her 3 kids...cause she forgot something and i thought, "i've ridden this elevator so much for that reason this week that my pointer finger hurts from pushing those goddamn buttons, lady." i mean it happened over and over, me watching parents that is...and i was able to relate to all of the nonsense they had going on. again, it made me feel better about my two toddler ass pains....and feel better about being a parent. moreover, my kids for so long were always going through different phases, but now the two year old is going through a mimicking phase and does everything the four year old does...so it's like i have twins. ella crosses her arms in protest, so does carrie. ella screams, carrie screams. ella runs into a wall and smashes her face, so does carrie. (it's so dumb.) carrie still isn't speaking in sentences, but she knows the words that get her what she wants. those words being yes and...NO. (she knows "NO" really well.) she's really good at using nonverbal cues as well. (exhibit A below.)
i was out on the balcony (during vacation) and turned to see an epic battle going on...over bubble wands. one minute they were playing nicely and the next minute i thought ella was going impale carrie in the jugular with the circular stick. carrie was screaming NOOOOOO and i said, "stop! why are you fighting over those...you each have one?!" ella turned and said very matter of factly, "the orange one works better." now let me explain...these were the EXACT same wand, except one was yellow and one was orange. originally carrie was using the orange one, but ella decided that one "worked better" and wanted it. i yelped, "it's the exact same wand, ella! the exact same one..it's just a different color!" she shook her head and said, "nope. it works better...i know it does." (wtf?) i walked inside to find my dad making sandwiches. i said, "this is a real struggle right now...fighting over the exact same wand, because one "works" better." all he could do was laugh. i've noticed that my parents laugh about a lot of the "struggles" that they observe me now going through with my toddlers. mainly, my guess is they are laughing because they aren't going through it themselves...but can sit back and enjoy the show. (just a hunch.) later on that day, there was a woman walking along the landing behind us on the way to dinner. i politely told her she could "go around" cause my children wanted to walk "themselves" and we all turn into a herd of turtles. she smiled and said, "i'm fine. i have four girls myself...sometimes it's fun to watch the world through their eyes." i asked her how old her kids were, "she said i can't even believe this, but my youngest is 21 and my oldest is 30. when they are little like yours, you never think you are going to get out of that phase...then suddenly you blink and they aren't little anymore. it goes too fast."
i shook my head and told her that everyone and their brother has been telling me this for a while now. i try to savor every moment, but when you are explaining to children why one bubble wand is not superior to another bubble wand...it's hard. when you are chasing a two year old around the condo with sunscreen and she is acting like it's napalm...it's hard. when one kid is asking for a snack from the backseat for the umpteenth time and the other one is crapping her pants...it's hard. savoring these little moments is hard. being a parent is hard. however, i think that at the end of the day...all parents just want to know that they are not alone in this struggle. they want to know others can relate. they want to know they they aren't the only person that forgot something in the condo and have to ride back up for the 23rd time that day. they want compassion and understanding from other people going through the same things...at least that's how i feel. i only have one more week of summer left as my summer stay at home mom gig comes to a close. my summer was filled with great (and not so great) moments. i am thankful that i have had this time to spend with my children, but good golly miss molly it wasn't easy. as i head back into the classroom to help raise and teach other people's children, i send my kids back to the sitter to elicit the same help from her. (it takes a village.) i know my toddler tag team will continue to take turns being a pain in the ass, but as the lady on the landing said, "it goes too fast." (correct.) so if you are ever thinking of doing a swan dive off of the bay bridge, just try to remember that this too shall pass. there are a whole hell of a lot of people going through the same struggles and trying to survive. at the end of the day, we are all in this together. one pain in the ass moment at a time. you are not alone.
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