balls

during our first back to school meeting, my principal used the phrase "balls to the wall." i can't be certain, but i'm pretty sure that's a precursor to a great school year. however, waking up to an alarm this morning was not fun. if you are a nine to fiver (or non teacher)...you want to hurt me right now. (just hear me out.)  i am already up pretty early most days...i have my own two live in alarm clocks and their names are ella and carrie. (ages 3 and 1, respectively.) however, upon waking up on a nonworking day...i don't have to venture out into the world until i'm fully ready. i think that's the thing i hate the most about my job...just having to be there so damn early and see other people. (and their dumb faces.) i am not a "morning person" by any means...and in the teaching profession i've come across a lot of chipper chickadees that love to catch the proverbial worm early in the morning. they come bouncing into the building and all i can think about...is how i want to flip them off. (that's bad.) anyway, i just don't like to be a productive member of society before i'm fully awake...and i'm forced to do that every damn day that i work.

alright, enough ranting...i know most of you have been working this whole summer and would rather stick a hot poker in your eye than listen to me whine about the fact that i have to go back to work. (easy there.) i will say that when i walked into the building today, it really felt like i had never left. i also had a flashback to this time last year...when i was hiding in a closet in the school building pumping breast milk for carrie, who was only 2 months old. this same day, i walked out of the closet with the bottle of breast milk in my hand...and ran right into a family who was registering to be in my kindergarten class. i froze and they just kinda stared at me. i proceeded to smile, shake their hands, and introduce myself. they didn't mention the fact that i had a bottle of still warm breast milk in my other hand...or the fact that a few minutes prior to that, i just had myself hooked up to a machine that resembled something you would use on a farm animal. (no big deal.) i said goodbye to them, put my motherhood milk in the fridge, and went about my day. this year, thankfully, i don't have to deal with the joys of that business. but seriously, where the hell did that year go? from breast milk and bottles...to a walking one year old in no time flat? (it's crazy.)

since butch has one more week off, he is home with the kids. i never know how things are going to go when this happens...but usually they go okay now that the kids are a little older. when i arrived back at the ranch, there were several (like 4) amazon packages on the porch blocking the front door. i picked them all up and walked into the house, knowing damn well i didn't order anything from amazon anytime recently. my husband was on the couch wearing only boxer shorts (balls akimbo) and carrie was fully dressed in (long sleeve/long pant) jammies. she was fussing. he said, "she keeps fussing, i don't know what's wrong." i scooped her up and she was all smiles...and then she snapped her head around and just stared at butch, disgusted. (i laughed.) i have no idea what her disgust was about...nonetheless, the look was priceless. he just shrugged his shoulders and stared at us. i said, "well maybe she's hot? she is wearing long sleeved jammie's and pants. it's 90 degrees outside. you are half naked. so maybe that's it?" he said, "i tried to take them off and she got pissed!" (alright then.) i mentioned to him the fact that he got a bunch of packages from amazon. he got all excited and ran to the kitchen like a little kid on christmas.

meanwhile, i took carrie upstairs to see if ella had woken up from her nap. when i poked my head into her room, she was laying in her crib asleep  (in full sleeve and pant jammies)...and it smelled like something had died, was laid to rest, and was rotting in her toy box. i decided to go in and wake her up. a few minutes after opening her eyes, i asked, "did you poop?!" she said, "yes. before my nap and then i just went to sleep." can you imagine crappin' your pants and then laying down for a nice nap? kids are so crazy. i asked her if she tried to call for her dad to change her and she replied, "nope! i just laid down. my was tired."so tired that you would rather sleep with poop in your pants? okay then. i changed her and walked downstairs as butch was modeling new polo shirts and a new pair of shoes. (with the boxer shorts he had on previously) he said, "i ordered these because it seems that you have been "shrinking" all of my shirts." i assured him that i was not shrinking anything...that the man wearing the shirts was expanding. he laughed and then said, "well they are all too small! i need bigger shirts, trish!" (dear jesus.) apparently when i was gone on saturday (for a football game with my brother), he ordered the shirts online. i'll be gone for the next 4 days...i hope i don't come home to a brand new pony on the front porch or some shit like that. (seriously.)

anyways, my first day back to work wasn't as brutal as i thought it was going to be. did i miss my kids? yes. did i miss wearing pajamas until 9am? yes. did i miss not having to look at people's dumb faces before i was fully awake? yes. next week, however, is when the real fun starts. the day when every parent rejoices and believes that it's the most wonderful time of the year...the time when their children come back to school. i've been teaching for 8 years, and the excitement of the first day of school never gets old. i always get butterflies and i am just as nervous as the kids. this is something your kid's teacher won't ever tell you...but it's true! i am looking forward to the upcoming school year and all of the new fun endeavours and excitement that it entails. moreover, i hope that at least one day this week i come home and my children (and husband) are dressed in (normal) clothes. what the hell, warren? (get it together.) yesterday i was talking to ella about how i had to go back to work and how teaching was my job. i then asked her what she wanted to be when she grows up. without missing a beat, she replied, "a princess!" (me too!) princess > teacher. on to another school year, another batch of kids, another bunch of shenanigans, i'm sure. goodbye summer, hello fall...it's time to go balls to the wall.