iron

so last friday morning, something really friggen frightening happened at our house. it is as follows: my one year old touched a hot clothes iron with her hand. (insert audible gasp here.) she had woken up earlier than normal that morning and i got her out of her crib. my husband was in the shower and i laid back down in our bed with her for a few more snuggles before i had to wake up and enter the real world. i laid there and held her until the last possible second. she followed me to the bathroom and watched as i washed my face and put in my contacts. stood there staring as i was putting on my makeup and then went out into our bedroom. i had a container of spare change and she got it off of the dresser. (237 toys, lets play with money.) she was sitting on the floor within eyeshot, playing with some coins. butch got out of the shower and was in the bedroom with her. he ironed his shirt, pulled out the plug, and left the iron on the board. (we have a small ghetto college ironing board that sits on top of the laundry basket.) i heard him go downstairs as i was brushing my teeth. approximately 40 seconds after i heard him leave the room, i heard her scream. it is a scream i never (ever) want to hear again. i dropped my toothbrush in the sink and ran through the doorway. carrie wasn't anywhere near the iron at this point, so at first i didn't know what the scream was about. i thought the cat scratched her or something...or that something scared her. (like a piece of lint on the floor...i shit you not, this is something that would happen.) then i saw the iron, put two and two together...and yelled for butch.

he came plowing up the steps and i said, "i think she burned herself!?!" (i was way hyper.) then i saw redness on her hand and immediately ran back into the bathroom with her to run it under cool water. she was losing her mind. (it had to hurt like a bastard.) butch just stood there bewildered. of course i played the blame game and said, "WHY would you leave the hot iron within her reach!?" he said, "i don't KNOW! i WASN'T thinking!" (now he was also hyper.) here's the thing...we were out of routine. usually she is sleeping up until i come into her room, wake her, change her diaper...and then put her into the car. however, she was up and smiling before the birds started chirping that day. needless to say, we both felt terrible. he felt terrible because he had left it within a one year old's arms reach, and i felt awful i didn't have an eyeball on her in that moment. accidents happen so fast. her little hand started to swell and blisters started to form. i shit you not i thought i was going to throw up. carrie talks minimally, but kept whining "mama! ouch! mama! ouch! (i wanted to off myself.) i didn't know whether to take her to the doctor, the ER, or urgent care. (i consulted with a family doctor friend.) it was like 6:30 in the morning and i really didn't know how bad the burn actually was. in the meantime, ella was shell shocked...she was just staring at us. i told butch to go to work and i would take care of it. however, when it hit about 8am and she was still crying...i called him back and told him to come the hell home. we ended up dropping ella at the sitter and heading to the ER with carrie. we were there all morning.

we had to repeat the story over and over again and i totally felt like social services was going to show up and put us in handcuffs. i explained that this was our first real trauma (other than ella almost knocking out her front teeth on a tricycle) in 4 years. one of the nurses shook her head and said, "when my son was little, we spent so much time at the ER...accidents happen, honey. just relax." (thank god for people like this, cause i was about to lose my shit.) carrie was pretty calm at this point but i've mentioned before how she's scared of the world. so sitting in unfamiliar emergency room was no treat for her. when they examined her...the scale, thermometer, and blood pressure cuff sent her into a tailspin. plus, her little hand hurt so that didn't help matters. i can't really explain how i felt in these moments...other than i was a horrible, awful mother for letting this happen. i didn't want her to be in pain, and i would've sawed off my left arm in a second if i knew her own pain would subside. (right there in the ER.) in conclusion, it sucked. after the doctor came in, they dressed the burn and she immediately fell asleep. she had expended so much energy that morning that once it felt better she sacked out. we left in the early afternoon and went back to pick up ella. she had a billion questions about carrie's bandage and said, "i never, ever touch an iron. ever." (glad everyone learned a lesson. including the parents.) after some happy meals, both girls went down for naps and butch and i both breathed a sigh of relief. (and really needed a stiff drink at that point.)

i guess i'm sharing this because it's crazy scary how one split second can change the course of an entire day and also because maybe some parents can relate to a childhood trauma like this that you never expect to happen. other than carrie waking up earlier than normal, it started as just another day. i do know that things could've been much (much) worse. the palm of her hand was burned, but it could've been her face, her arm, both hands...who knows. it was more of a misunderstanding between butch and i as well. i mean, i didn't know he left the iron there or i wouldn't have left her out of eyeball shot. moreover, i am so utterly in awe of how resilient children are. she woke up from her nap that friday and acted like nothing happened. she never even tried to rip off her bandage and only whimpered when i would have to change the dressing. by last night, the wound was pretty much healed and she is almost back to her normal self.

i tucked both of of my kids into bed last night and was hoping for an incident free monday morning. (it was.) with parenthood, you have to take the good with the bad. i will say that friday was a very, very bad day for both butch and i. we felt worthless. when i went up to bed last night, i peeked in on both kids to make sure they were sleeping. (breathing.) i found ella snuggling ever so sweetly...with a pair of binoculars. i laughed myself right over to my own bedroom and shook my head thinking i have one kid sleeping with a bandaged hand...and another snuggling with a pair of binoculars. (i also thought i better document this nonsense, because when they are older they will never believe it.) pretty sure all parenting books should have the same slogan on the front: "buckle up." thanks for coming along for the ride...it's been a bumpy one at best, but one i wouldn't change for anything. except for maybe the burned hand, i'd probably bipass that moment if i had to do it over again. however, sleeping beauty with the binoculars? well that's one of the best.