happy

never did i ever think that i would be using one of these crazy carts at the grocery store. however, this morning when i took the kids as their only adult chaperone, that's just what i did. i ran into no less than 8 displays...and ella laughed her head off as a ricocheted into a display of dishsoap. (amongst other things.) then exclaimed, "oh no! do you know where you are going?!" not really, kid...but apparently i took a one way ticket to mommyville and there is no turning back now. (crazy carts included.) the thing is, this is one of the many things i didn't think i would be doing before i became a mother. other things, such as (but not limited to); wiping snot off my kid's nose with my bare hand, sleeping upright for a whole night because my kid was congested and couldn't breathe, scooping poop out of the tub with a bucket...all things i never expected would happen. but here we are. i used to laugh at the people trying to maneuver the car carts around the grocery store, and as i slammed into a rack of ravioli...i realized the joke is now on me. (cripes.)

meanwhile, the kids were loving it. they thought it was the best thing ever...and really, that's what it boils down to. as long as your kids are happy, you are happy...no matter how ridiculous you may feel. as i was perusing the produce, ella was naming the fruits she wanted. carrie was enthralled with what was going on...i can tell, because she was picking her nose. (yes!) i grabbed some apples and as i turned around, there was a guy that worked at the store standing right behind me. i'm a horrible judge of age, but he had that "i just graduated from high school" swagger about him. he started talking to me about how good the peaches were and that i had to try them...and then he started throwing out words such as, "delicious" and "luscious" while raising his eyebrows at me. oh my god...is this kid really hitting on me? it's 10am on a monday morning and my kids are staring at you from a racecar cart...you really wanna go there dude? i told him i had already picked up some of the peaches, and he should try grilling them sometime. he exclaimed, "grilling them!? i guess that's like making a pie?" i stared at him then said, "no, i've never grilled a pie, actually...so i don't think it's anything like that, but we can pretend it is." he laughed. (good lord.)

i walked away from high school harry and ella said, "who IS dat guy?" i told her, "a peach expert."(complete with his own peach fuzz.) she smiled. we made it to the checkout without any incidents out of my children...except for one. at one point, carrie was trying to grab ella's steering wheel and ella was straight arming her and saying, "nooo tarrrie! you drive your own wheel now!" there were a few screams...which prompted me to open the bag of american cheese i just got from the deli and give each kid a slice. (they're happy, i'm happy.) i got everything up on the conveyor belt, and the cashier said, "you can swipe your card now." so i did. up on the screen pops..."DECLINED." (oh shit.) she said, "it seems your card is expired." i looked at it and sure enough it expired july 1st. i did get the new one in the mail, but never activated it. i only had one other card with me, and knew there wasn't enough money in that account to cover the bill. thank god for technology at this point, cause i got on my phone and transferred some funds to the other account. there was an older man behind me and he was devil glaring me. i think he thought i was, like, playing word games on my phone or something. the cashier was yelling, "we aren't going to have to put all THIS STUFF BACK ARE WE!?" (oh hell.) everything went through, i ran the card and all was good...as i was doing all this though, ella was asking 23487 questions. "why you on your phone!? tan i have more cheese? what you doing, mommy?! are you going to pay the lady!? and....where is dat PEACH guy?" (SERENITY NOW!)

let's just say, when i got home from the store...i was relieved. however, i had about 237 things to do back on the range. (disaster area.) when i arrived back last night from my mini beach vacation, i came to discover that my husband's college roommate had been in town for a visit. (along with his 4 year old.) our house resembled a frat house...of the toddler variety. (kappa tappa toys R us.) shit. was. everywhere. i swear that every toy in the entire house was pulled out of every closet in every room. hell, there was a full sized tent set up in the LIVING ROOM. the dishes were piled high, sippy cups (and after bedtime beer bottles), were piled on the counters. it was a mess. i didn't say much about it to butch except, "this house." he said, "i didn't do it." (ok then.) here's the thing about guys, most of them are not great multitaskers. they have one goal and stick to it. butch's goal while i was away was, "keep the kids happy and alive." other than that, nothing else matters. now don't get me wrong, when the kids are home with me...they are also always my first priority. however, there are also about a billion other things that have to get done as well. (dishes, laundry, cleaning...to name a few.) mothers have to be marvelous multitaskers. if you aren't, your house goes to shit...and ends up looking like a toddler frat house. (exhibit a...this weekend.)

although the house was a wreck, that was minor to me. (small stuff.)  i was just happy to be able to get away for a few days. butch attained his goal...kids were both happy and alive when i arrived back home. i spent sunday morning laying on the beach soaking up the sun, and monday morning pushing a racecar cart around the grocery store with expired credit cards in my purse. although i'd much rather be doing the former, i know that i chose to be a mother and chose this day to day nonsense over everything else. (and i'm okay with that.) moreover, i'm sure as they both grow up, there will be many more "never have i ever" thoughts that go through my head. unlike my credit cards, my one way ticket to mommyville will never expire. during their naptime, i put the house back in order. then i did no less than 24 loads of laundry. and although i felt super ridiculous steering that absurd cart around the grocery store this morning...i will not forget ella's high pitched laugh when i accidentally rammed into stuff. (her laugh is the best.) so we will keep laughing, keep making messes, keep chugging along...and keep hoping that everyone is happy. (and alive.) cause i'm pretty sure that's all that really matters in the end.