fifteen

so i debated writing about this because it is a touchy (TOUCHY) subject, but IT IS WHAT IT IS...so here goes. my mind has been literally blown over the backlash toward teachers the past few months. (blown.) anyone that knows me, knows that i'm pretty outspoken about most things. however, this whole teacher bashing business has been CRAZY lately and made me quiet (until now). first of all...this is not what ANY of us signed up for. ANY HUMAN BEING right now...not just teachers. not any child right now either. this is a time of turmoil and NOT understanding what the hell is going on. this is a time of discontent. let me start by stating that i would give a LIMB to be back in the classroom teaching like normal right now (like a whole arm, or leg). most teachers would do the same. it makes me sad to think my incoming kindergarteners won't get the same experience as the ones i've taught before. we don't want to teach your children through a screen...we want to interact with them face to face and make meaningful and honest connections. my own children are DESPERATE to be back in the classroom with their teachers (they talk about it daily). other teachers in other states don't have to endure a screen...but have masks and 6 feet restrictions, which i don't really understand how that is going to work either (throwing a hunger game salute right at you). 

BUT...here is the bottom line. WE (teachers) did not make these final decisions. we didn't make the current curriculum. we (as a whole) didn't decide how and when children should return to school. honestly, we found out when the rest of the public found out. we always find out major decisions when all of you find out! we had very little say in major decisions. we are stressing, we are scared, we are anxious...like all of you! DESPITE THIS...many of us sucked it up, rolled with the punches, and accepted the new normal. even though it killed a part of us to know our whole world would be turned upside down and we would have to change everything we have known about teaching to date...we accepted it! period. after we accepted it with grace (and mild gripes) we began to build our virtual, google, and bitmoji classrooms (along with the help of coffee and tears). coming from an OLD SCHOOL pencil and paper teacher (me)...we leaned on EACH OTHER for support as many other people berated us. about a week ago i was in a really bad head space about going back to school virtually (like, bad). then i spoke with a former retired principal for 2 hours, she gave me so much insight. shortly after, i had to go to my school to pick up some supplies and ran into my teammates, one of which who got excited to show me a picture of her virtual classroom space at home. they inspired me to pick myself up and DO BETTER. this is what happened over the next few days. this space.

yesterday we had a virtual pre-launch day with our parents and kids for this next school year. i was nervous, i was scared, and i didn't know how parents were going to accept this new fate. do you know what happened? they listened, they trusted, they cared, and understood. they were KIND when my microphone didn't work and CALM when the video i was going to play didn't have sound. moreover, i saw my incoming kindergartners smiling on the other end of the video call. when i unmuted them, their giggles and "hiiiii teacher!!!" gave me peace. one yelled, 'I CANNOT WAIT TO BE A PART OF THIS CLASS!' at one point. so, no, this is not what i signed up for year 15 of teaching...but i will try my hardest to keep these kids engaged and keep the parents calm and kind. i have been lucky enough to have been around amazing educators my ENTIRE career and the thing the general public doesn't see is the behind the scenes of how committed they are to children and learning. during this crazy time, it is no different. actually...it's in OVERDRIVE. i had a parent call me today with a question and after the conversation she praised me and praised teachers and said "thank you" sincerely. DO BETTER, people. teachers everywhere are bending over backward to take care of your kids the best they can. at the end of the day...be kind. also, to those of you that are negative nellies, i'll give you some advice i give my kindergarteners...if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. throwing hunger games salutes to parents and teachers everywhere this school year...you got this.