i've always loved new years eve...but not for the extravagant parties. hell, i don't think i've gone out on new years eve in at least 6 years or more due to my children entering this world. truth be told, i'll actually be lucky to make it to midnight...maybe mixing in a glass of bubbly with my boxed wine. (wiiiiild!) however, as each year that passes it is like the ending of a story. each passing month of that year is like a chapter in that book. there are some chapters i'd like to reread each delicious detail, some i'd like to skim through, and some i would skip all together. as i get older, i have realized that writing this story each year is up to me...and unfortunately each year flies by faster than the next. i know damn well i'm gonna wake up and be 80 and wonder what the hell happened. my dad always warned me about the quickness of this life and i thought he was lying. now that i have my own children, i know this to be true. moreover, you create your own story with each decision that you make. how you act and react to things that are beyond your control are crucial to your own happiness, i've learned this throughout the years. this past year has been filled with great memories and experiences, but the beginning of a new year is an opportunity to start fresh, to start the story all over again so to speak.
i learn a lot about life from the children that i teach and also the two little people that inhibit my house. children know how to to truly live and they are unaffected by the burdens of adulthood. they wear their feelings (good or bad) on their sleeve. they tell people how they really feel and mean it. they soak up each experience and grow from it. as adults, we sometimes miss the lesson in an experience and move along too quickly. sometimes we are too worried about the past or future that we forget to live in the present. whether it be learning how to blow a bubble with gum or buttoning their pants independently for the first time...kids embrace that stuff and own it. i often hear at my house..."i did it all by myself!" ringing out from the other room. kids in my classroom get excited when they write a letter the correct way for the first time. they celebrate each (seeming minuscule) milestone and adults should do that more often. we need to celebrate the little things more and worry less. i have met some amazing people this past year and i am always intrigued by their stories. in this super short life, it's important to really get to know the people that are helping you write the chapters of your own book. i love when people are raw and real and aren't afraid to show you who they really are.
so as another year passes, there are so many lessons that i've learned. my children continue to teach me what life is all about and i hope i am teaching them a thing or two. parenting is one hell of a ride and half the time i feel like i don't know what the hell i am doing. however, my kids seem to be turning out all right...and most importantly, they are happy. all i really want for them in this life is for them to be happy. actually, that's what i want for most of the people in my life...for them to just be happy. with that in mind, get rid of the bullshit that bogs you down, do what makes you happy at the end of the day, and start writing the chapters of your own story with fervor. whether this past year was the best year of your life, or the worst year of your life...you are in control of what you write for yourself this upcoming year. (that, my friends, is a powerful thing!) i am forever thankful for the people who have come in and out of my life this past year and have taught me lessons...especially the little people. i am also thankful for simple things like coffee, wine, and running that have helped to keep me balanced. most importantly, i am thankful that i have made it through another year and lived to tell the tale. when you look back on your book when you are 80 years old...may your stories be part of a best seller. moreover, make this next year your best year yet.
Thursday, December 31, 2015
Saturday, December 19, 2015
flu
oh hey guys. how's everybody doin? just wanted to tell you that christmas came early in my house. one of my wishes for the holiday is that i would have an entire day over winter break to simply spend in bed (i think this is a valid request from most mothers around the world, right?). it hasn't happened since prekids and i thought how glorious it would be to watch movies, read a book, and nap. so coincidentally i'm on day two of doing this bed ridden thing, because this christmas miracle came to me in the form of the...FLU (careful what you wish for, huh?). that's right folks. exactly one week before christmas, i came down with the flu (like the legit one.) thursday when i woke up, i had a little bit of a cough and my chest felt heavy, but i didn't think much about it. i haven't been on antibiotics in the past 10 years, rarely get sick, and have never (ever) taken a sick day off in that time for myself (for my children, yes...lots of times). so off i skipped to work, to the gym (4 miles on the treadmill i might add), and then to fen's for girls night. to my dismay, at approximately 3:32am friday morning, i was abruptly awoken by severe body aches and pains. it felt like muhammad ali himself snuck into my bedroom and boxed the shit out of my body while i was sleeping. then came the chills. i was shaking all over the place and could not get warm no matter what i did. i tossed and turned and at at 5:30am when the alarm went off, i truly still believed i could go to work.
i wandered into the bathroom, slightly bewildered, and started straightening my hair. as i stood there i got a little lookie loo at myself in the mirror and thought, "holy hell...i look like i'm getting ready for a casting call for the walking dead." i was physically shaking when butch got out of the shower and he said, "what the hell is wrong with you!?" i said, "i'm so cold!" he said, "well you are wearing a tank top and underwear right now so that might be part of the problem!" i yelped back that i always wear this garb in the morning and don't typically look like i have parkinson's disease while i am doing my hair! (normal morning convos). so halfway through the straightening process i aborted mission...cause i thought i was going to pass out. i emailed my principal, put in for a sub, and went back to bed. in the meantime, my husband fed the kids breakfast and hopped out the door. therefore, i had to muster up some motherhood superpowers in order to get them dressed and to school. i did (somehow). as i crawled back under the covers, i laid there thinking about how i should be so excited about staying in bed all day...and really i just wanted to be at work! i had so many fun things planned for friday lessons and was disappointed i didn't get to do them. as the day went on, i tried to get out of bed several times, but it didn't go well (stumbling and shit). finally, after searching the goog for flu symptoms and seeing that i had a multitude of them, i decided to head to the minute clinic.
driving was a little dicey and of course i showed up right as "patricia" (the PA) was heading out to lunch. i sat there waiting, sweating profusely....and plotting patricia's death. i don't have a primary care physician, mainly cause in the 10 years i've lived here i have never gotten legit sick. (i know, i still need one.) i knew, though, that there was probably a flu swab, like a strep swab, so she would be able to tell me if i had it or not. i described my symptoms and she said, "do you have a shirt on under your sweatshirt?" (come again?) i said yes. then she said, "can you remove your sweatshirt, cause it will make the exam easier?" i said sure...but warned patricia that i was not wearing a bra. she played it off, but i think boobs akimbo was more than she was bargaining for in that visit. anyways, i removed my hoodie, hit myself nearly in the eye with my breast, and she began to take my blood pressure. i had popped a bunch of advil before i went, just so i didn't get the shakes from the fever, but when she took my temp it was still 102. (whew). she asked what i did for a living, if i had kids, and all the other pleasantry questions one can ask while staring at your braless wonder of a body. she took the swab from my nasal cavity (very uncomfortable, i might add) and then set the timer. she stated that she had never had someone come into the clinic with the flu while she worked there, so she really didn't think i had it. (ok then). the timer beeped and she swung around...and gasped. then immediately put on a mask. (wtf!? are medical professionals supposed to gasp?) so i said, "well i guess i have it." she shook her head yes.
afterwards, patricia read me the riot act about being in bed for 7-10 days, taking off work next week...and canceling any and all christmas plans (easy, PATTY!) i didn't know whether to laugh or cry in that moment, but when she passed me a mask to put on...i knew she was for serious. so i called my husband to let him know my predicament and he thought i was making it up (i assure you i am not). i asked him kindly to pick up some gatorade, soup, and my prescription. he obliged...and then flew in the door with it freaking out about how it all cost FORTY-SEVEN dollars and he thought it was ridiculous! (no coupons for CVS that day) then, he picked up the kids and shoved them in the door and went to the gym (men.) meanwhile, i'm in bed part flu victim part mental patient cause i can't move and he's gone. i think the girls knew the severity of my illness due to my mask covered mouth. i had a courageous conversation with butch about how i can't be expected to take care of a hamster, let alone two children at this point. he came home and realized i was not faking when he took one look at me (seriously, walking dead actress in the making). as i laid here in bed the past two days, i question my mental well being until this influenza is gone. one thing though, i'm glad it's me and not my kids...if they get it i will be devastated. although i love all things holiday, the flu doesn't usually factor into that equation. wishing you all a happy, HEALTHY, holiday season. hopefully muhammad ali doesn't sneak in your bedroom during the next week in the middle of the night and give you the one/two punch, nor do you have to wear a mask. may your days be merry and bright...and i mean that in the least sarcastic way possible.
i wandered into the bathroom, slightly bewildered, and started straightening my hair. as i stood there i got a little lookie loo at myself in the mirror and thought, "holy hell...i look like i'm getting ready for a casting call for the walking dead." i was physically shaking when butch got out of the shower and he said, "what the hell is wrong with you!?" i said, "i'm so cold!" he said, "well you are wearing a tank top and underwear right now so that might be part of the problem!" i yelped back that i always wear this garb in the morning and don't typically look like i have parkinson's disease while i am doing my hair! (normal morning convos). so halfway through the straightening process i aborted mission...cause i thought i was going to pass out. i emailed my principal, put in for a sub, and went back to bed. in the meantime, my husband fed the kids breakfast and hopped out the door. therefore, i had to muster up some motherhood superpowers in order to get them dressed and to school. i did (somehow). as i crawled back under the covers, i laid there thinking about how i should be so excited about staying in bed all day...and really i just wanted to be at work! i had so many fun things planned for friday lessons and was disappointed i didn't get to do them. as the day went on, i tried to get out of bed several times, but it didn't go well (stumbling and shit). finally, after searching the goog for flu symptoms and seeing that i had a multitude of them, i decided to head to the minute clinic.
driving was a little dicey and of course i showed up right as "patricia" (the PA) was heading out to lunch. i sat there waiting, sweating profusely....and plotting patricia's death. i don't have a primary care physician, mainly cause in the 10 years i've lived here i have never gotten legit sick. (i know, i still need one.) i knew, though, that there was probably a flu swab, like a strep swab, so she would be able to tell me if i had it or not. i described my symptoms and she said, "do you have a shirt on under your sweatshirt?" (come again?) i said yes. then she said, "can you remove your sweatshirt, cause it will make the exam easier?" i said sure...but warned patricia that i was not wearing a bra. she played it off, but i think boobs akimbo was more than she was bargaining for in that visit. anyways, i removed my hoodie, hit myself nearly in the eye with my breast, and she began to take my blood pressure. i had popped a bunch of advil before i went, just so i didn't get the shakes from the fever, but when she took my temp it was still 102. (whew). she asked what i did for a living, if i had kids, and all the other pleasantry questions one can ask while staring at your braless wonder of a body. she took the swab from my nasal cavity (very uncomfortable, i might add) and then set the timer. she stated that she had never had someone come into the clinic with the flu while she worked there, so she really didn't think i had it. (ok then). the timer beeped and she swung around...and gasped. then immediately put on a mask. (wtf!? are medical professionals supposed to gasp?) so i said, "well i guess i have it." she shook her head yes.
afterwards, patricia read me the riot act about being in bed for 7-10 days, taking off work next week...and canceling any and all christmas plans (easy, PATTY!) i didn't know whether to laugh or cry in that moment, but when she passed me a mask to put on...i knew she was for serious. so i called my husband to let him know my predicament and he thought i was making it up (i assure you i am not). i asked him kindly to pick up some gatorade, soup, and my prescription. he obliged...and then flew in the door with it freaking out about how it all cost FORTY-SEVEN dollars and he thought it was ridiculous! (no coupons for CVS that day) then, he picked up the kids and shoved them in the door and went to the gym (men.) meanwhile, i'm in bed part flu victim part mental patient cause i can't move and he's gone. i think the girls knew the severity of my illness due to my mask covered mouth. i had a courageous conversation with butch about how i can't be expected to take care of a hamster, let alone two children at this point. he came home and realized i was not faking when he took one look at me (seriously, walking dead actress in the making). as i laid here in bed the past two days, i question my mental well being until this influenza is gone. one thing though, i'm glad it's me and not my kids...if they get it i will be devastated. although i love all things holiday, the flu doesn't usually factor into that equation. wishing you all a happy, HEALTHY, holiday season. hopefully muhammad ali doesn't sneak in your bedroom during the next week in the middle of the night and give you the one/two punch, nor do you have to wear a mask. may your days be merry and bright...and i mean that in the least sarcastic way possible.
Thursday, December 10, 2015
december
so here we are in the middle of december and i really don't know where the past year has gone. i was recently at a birthday party for a friend's kid and she said, "so why haven't you been writing lately!?" i remarked that since graduate school has ended i really don't feel like writing anything. ever again. (ever.) it's not that it sucked the fun out of writing, it is just nice not being behind the laptop talking about literacy and it's many facets. in the meantime, there have been several things that have happened that have been quite funny in my world that i would like to share with you. first of all, yesterday morning, for example, i rolled over before the sun shone her shiny face and did what most people do when they wake up...i grabbed my phone off of the nightstand to take a little looksee before i had to face the day. lo and behold, i had a snapchat notification (yes, we use this app like 14 year old girls) from my best friend fen. i realized that she must've sent it at like 4:44am, which was mad friggen early to be snapping pictures of, well, anything. so i rubbed my eyeballs and then hit the red square cautiously. (if you are unfamiliar with snapchat, search the google.) what i saw was nothing short of amazing. one question: if a 9 foot christmas tree (that originally took 3 days to decorate) falls in a living room...will your fiance be the first one to hear it? the answer to that question is yes...he shot out of bed like a bullet, wide-eyed, and woke her the hell up.
i'm not surprised by stuff that happens to her anymore, cause there is a long laundry list of lemony snicket's series of unfortunate events in her life. for example, around halloween she called me (screaming) from her car and said that she thought someone had broken into her house...because there was loud music playing and the lights were left on. she went on to say she wasn't sure if the intruder was still in there. (whaaat?!) i asked her if the door was unlocked and she said no, "but brad paisley was singing sweet nothings loudly" and she wasn't sure why. she was sure someone was hiding in a closet waiting to off her with a carving knife and bury her in the backyard. i told her to go the hell inside because her roommate probably just left the tv on prior to leaving for work (she did.). she made me stay on the phone with her the whole time...like a lifetime movie gone wrong. (what are best friends for?) turns out no one was in there except for the monsters under her bed and the country singer slash stabber. (nice.) so after i saw the snapchat of the tree, i had to get my shit together. i then sauntered (more like old lady walked) into the bathroom and my husband was there. we don't say too much to each other in the morning and i'm okay with that. i have a hard time making words, let alone sentences, at that hour.
however, when i began to brush my teeth, i was bent over the sink and proceeded to spew toothpaste out of my mouth and all over the mirror...in a fit of laughter. i don't know what it was about that goddamn christmas tree, but when i got to thinking about it (timberrrrr!)...i couldn't stop laughing. he ran into the bathroom and yelled, 'WHAT!?' i grabbed my phone, pulled up the screenshot and said, "one guess who this happened to." without missing a beat...he said fen. there are so many things i love about the holidays, but trees that fall in a living room of a house in the middle of the night with no pets or children involved is one of my favorites. another favorite is the introduction of both my household elf on the shelf and my classroom elf. there are so many people that are so cynical about the damn thing, but let me try to explain it to you. take your average child under the age of ten and think about how excited they are about...anything. kids get excited about EVERYTHING. so take that and then add the month of december...where kids have to wrap their brains around the fact that a jolly fat guy in a red suit is going to bring them presents for (seemingly) no reason at all except for them "being good." you know what happens? they lose their little minds.
most children, in the month of december, lose their minds. so enter the elf. yes, the book that accompanies him states that he travels back to santa to report what he saw during the day and stuff...but do you know what the elf actually does? he brings the spirit of christmas right into your home or (also) in my case, classroom. it really is magical. and fun. and when people that get all wound up in a negative way about that elf...it makes me want to throat punch them. (happy holidays!) most of these naysayers are not around little people for the most part and don't quite "get it." i dare these scrooges to come into my school for a minute each morning when my kindergartners fire into the classroom like they have been shot out of a cannon. they are so (SO!) excited to see where the elf has "landed" from the night before...and their conversations about him are even better. my own kids hunt around in the morning looking for our home elf "snowflake" and carrie usually claps and squeals when she sees her...ella's eyes light up and i usually need a defibrillator to resuscitate my heart. (so there.) i have gotten away from posing him/her in 328 different positions, cause i've realize that just the fact that it has "magically" moved from one place to another is enough in the eyes of a child.
warren has also been wayyyy wound up about the holidays this year...and has decided to griswold the front of the house again. instead of using staples like clark, he used tacks this time. i didn't know what i was going on...until i went outside and it looked like jolly st. nick took puke on the cedar shakes. (colored lights a plenty.) he's also back in the coupon game and told me that he wants to convert carries bedroom into his "couponing room." i said, "let's not and say we did." (ps. this is a classic quote that my dad always said growing up) he replied with, "you're not letting my coupon skills flourish. they are being bottled up!" (if you don't believe me i'll show you the text.) he gets real passionate about shit like colored lights and coupons and sometimes i don't have the energy to be his cheerleader in that regard. however, when my family was here, they were alllllll about egging him on about both the colored lights (my dad suggested adding candy canes) and the coupons (my mom got wayyyy excited about the free toothpaste) so later on yesterday morning, when i was still laughing about the tree falling down, i got another snapchat from fen...sending me into a another fit of laughter. i was sitting at my desk at lunchtime and thought, will this nonsense ever end with her? she's balls deep in wedding planning and i'm along for the ride...i can't imagine what fun stuff is around the bend. meanwhile, if you can't get into the holiday spirit...you are more than welcome to come to my house, my classroom, or even fen's to see the previously fallen tree. go hard or go home is my motto this time of year...otherwise, you are just missing out. man i love the holidays.
i'm not surprised by stuff that happens to her anymore, cause there is a long laundry list of lemony snicket's series of unfortunate events in her life. for example, around halloween she called me (screaming) from her car and said that she thought someone had broken into her house...because there was loud music playing and the lights were left on. she went on to say she wasn't sure if the intruder was still in there. (whaaat?!) i asked her if the door was unlocked and she said no, "but brad paisley was singing sweet nothings loudly" and she wasn't sure why. she was sure someone was hiding in a closet waiting to off her with a carving knife and bury her in the backyard. i told her to go the hell inside because her roommate probably just left the tv on prior to leaving for work (she did.). she made me stay on the phone with her the whole time...like a lifetime movie gone wrong. (what are best friends for?) turns out no one was in there except for the monsters under her bed and the country singer slash stabber. (nice.) so after i saw the snapchat of the tree, i had to get my shit together. i then sauntered (more like old lady walked) into the bathroom and my husband was there. we don't say too much to each other in the morning and i'm okay with that. i have a hard time making words, let alone sentences, at that hour.
however, when i began to brush my teeth, i was bent over the sink and proceeded to spew toothpaste out of my mouth and all over the mirror...in a fit of laughter. i don't know what it was about that goddamn christmas tree, but when i got to thinking about it (timberrrrr!)...i couldn't stop laughing. he ran into the bathroom and yelled, 'WHAT!?' i grabbed my phone, pulled up the screenshot and said, "one guess who this happened to." without missing a beat...he said fen. there are so many things i love about the holidays, but trees that fall in a living room of a house in the middle of the night with no pets or children involved is one of my favorites. another favorite is the introduction of both my household elf on the shelf and my classroom elf. there are so many people that are so cynical about the damn thing, but let me try to explain it to you. take your average child under the age of ten and think about how excited they are about...anything. kids get excited about EVERYTHING. so take that and then add the month of december...where kids have to wrap their brains around the fact that a jolly fat guy in a red suit is going to bring them presents for (seemingly) no reason at all except for them "being good." you know what happens? they lose their little minds.
most children, in the month of december, lose their minds. so enter the elf. yes, the book that accompanies him states that he travels back to santa to report what he saw during the day and stuff...but do you know what the elf actually does? he brings the spirit of christmas right into your home or (also) in my case, classroom. it really is magical. and fun. and when people that get all wound up in a negative way about that elf...it makes me want to throat punch them. (happy holidays!) most of these naysayers are not around little people for the most part and don't quite "get it." i dare these scrooges to come into my school for a minute each morning when my kindergartners fire into the classroom like they have been shot out of a cannon. they are so (SO!) excited to see where the elf has "landed" from the night before...and their conversations about him are even better. my own kids hunt around in the morning looking for our home elf "snowflake" and carrie usually claps and squeals when she sees her...ella's eyes light up and i usually need a defibrillator to resuscitate my heart. (so there.) i have gotten away from posing him/her in 328 different positions, cause i've realize that just the fact that it has "magically" moved from one place to another is enough in the eyes of a child.
warren has also been wayyyy wound up about the holidays this year...and has decided to griswold the front of the house again. instead of using staples like clark, he used tacks this time. i didn't know what i was going on...until i went outside and it looked like jolly st. nick took puke on the cedar shakes. (colored lights a plenty.) he's also back in the coupon game and told me that he wants to convert carries bedroom into his "couponing room." i said, "let's not and say we did." (ps. this is a classic quote that my dad always said growing up) he replied with, "you're not letting my coupon skills flourish. they are being bottled up!" (if you don't believe me i'll show you the text.) he gets real passionate about shit like colored lights and coupons and sometimes i don't have the energy to be his cheerleader in that regard. however, when my family was here, they were alllllll about egging him on about both the colored lights (my dad suggested adding candy canes) and the coupons (my mom got wayyyy excited about the free toothpaste) so later on yesterday morning, when i was still laughing about the tree falling down, i got another snapchat from fen...sending me into a another fit of laughter. i was sitting at my desk at lunchtime and thought, will this nonsense ever end with her? she's balls deep in wedding planning and i'm along for the ride...i can't imagine what fun stuff is around the bend. meanwhile, if you can't get into the holiday spirit...you are more than welcome to come to my house, my classroom, or even fen's to see the previously fallen tree. go hard or go home is my motto this time of year...otherwise, you are just missing out. man i love the holidays.
Saturday, November 7, 2015
masters
so someone recently said to me, "you are great at writing...so your masters program must've been easy for you!" (excuse me?) first of all, writing for pleasure and writing a paper are two totally different things. i mean, most times, i don't even use capitalization for christsake...this is far from "scholarly" writing. secondly, do you know who i live with? the offspring that inhibit my house made my masters program seem far from a walk in the park. for example, do you know what it's like when you are a parent and you try to get on the phone? the house can be silent, but as soon as you put that device to your ear to call someone...barnum and bailey suddenly set up shop and your house becomes a legitimate circus. ("can't you see i'm on the PHONE!?!?") well, the same thing happens when you are trying to read a passage or write a paper. it seemed as soon as i opened the laptop...all hell would break lose. laptop closed: kids playing quietly in the next room. laptop open: one kid flushing a toy down the toilet and the other one trying to reinsert herself in my vagina. (you get the point.) i will say that my husband was good about giving me time to get shit done, but sometimes he would get sidetracked with things like couponing and his efforts to control them would fall short.
that brings me to my next topic...butch's coupon game has been strong lately. (joy.) he took a brief hiatus for a while, but he's back. since he's head of the newspaper club at his school, he somehow worked it out that they deliver sunday papers to him in great numbers...coupons and all. in the past month, he has added 12 jugs of laundry detergent, numerous bottles of body wash, and approximately 46 tubes of toothpaste to his hoard. (no bullshit.) he's like a dentistry ghandi when friends come over and passes out crest like candy on halloween. we had a new guest in our house prior to a penn state tailgate and he said, "do you need some toothpaste!?" she said, "well i saw all of that in the bathroom and was going to say something....what the ?!??" (what the ?!?? indeed.) she accepted his offering and then laughed. people think i make this shit up, but it really happens. he sent another set of friends home with a care package filled with his latest treasures. fen recently had a birthday and her gift bag was overflowing with fun things like laundry detergent. the list goes on. i recently told him i needed some new makeup and he said i "better not" buy it full price because he can get it for "free." (for the love of...) he tries to suck me into his couponing ways, but i cannot be swayed.
now that i'm done my masters, i feel like i need to get a new hobby. (not couponing.) it really wasn't "hard" per se...but it did take a lot (A LOT) of time. having a full time job and a family, and just life in general...there are 2341 things i would have rather been doing with my time then writing another paper each weekend. do i think that having this makes me a better teacher? well, maybe in some ways...but i have to say i am a little frightened about where education is heading. (hear me out.) in the month of october, i spent one day out of each week testing my kids. i was out of the classroom and that instructional time was lost...all in the name of data. not to mention a plethora of other crap things i have to write up to hold me "accountable." (hello SLOs.) teaching isn't teaching anymore...it's turning into a data driven profession...proposed by people who have never set foot in a classroom. (it's sad.) so anyway, after getting word that i "passed" and was done this week...i was happy, but i was generally overwhelmed by other stuff. the weather was beautiful that day and i decided to take part of our science time to go outside and teach the kids...how to properly roll down a grassy hill. did you ever watch a kid do this?! it's pretty awesome. their joy that day became my joy and i needed that moment to remember why i became a teacher in the first place. (the kids.) afterwards, they ran around in the sun and they were all smiles. (so was i.)
so i woke up this morning and was overjoyed that i didn't have to do any "scholarly" writing today. my three year old tapped me tenderly in the eye socket and as i slowly opened my eyes...she asked me to blow up a balloon. if you have ever questioned whether you want to be a parent or not...ask yourself if you can muster up the energy at 5:17am to blow up a goddamn balloon. my first activity of the day and i had to channel my inner bozo. i mean, don't let me sway you one way or the other, but then my 5 year old came downstairs wearing only underpants and asked me if she could have halloween candy for breakfast. (no.) that being said...they are both snuggled up to me now on the couch watching cartoons and my coffee is nearby. they are being awfully quiet even though the laptop is open, because somehow they know i'm not writing anything for grad school...kids know things they shouldn't know. case in point, every single day this week i had to shake them awake to get up for school...but here were are at saturday and carrie came over even earlier and inserted her finger in my eye socket. (how do they KNOW!?) now that i am officially finished my masters program, my husband has announced that he is thinking about going back to school for...his doctorate. (DR. BUTCH.) i'll give you a few days for you to wrap your head around that. until next time, bozo the balloon making clown...over and out.
that brings me to my next topic...butch's coupon game has been strong lately. (joy.) he took a brief hiatus for a while, but he's back. since he's head of the newspaper club at his school, he somehow worked it out that they deliver sunday papers to him in great numbers...coupons and all. in the past month, he has added 12 jugs of laundry detergent, numerous bottles of body wash, and approximately 46 tubes of toothpaste to his hoard. (no bullshit.) he's like a dentistry ghandi when friends come over and passes out crest like candy on halloween. we had a new guest in our house prior to a penn state tailgate and he said, "do you need some toothpaste!?" she said, "well i saw all of that in the bathroom and was going to say something....what the ?!??" (what the ?!?? indeed.) she accepted his offering and then laughed. people think i make this shit up, but it really happens. he sent another set of friends home with a care package filled with his latest treasures. fen recently had a birthday and her gift bag was overflowing with fun things like laundry detergent. the list goes on. i recently told him i needed some new makeup and he said i "better not" buy it full price because he can get it for "free." (for the love of...) he tries to suck me into his couponing ways, but i cannot be swayed.
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| i do not lie. |
so i woke up this morning and was overjoyed that i didn't have to do any "scholarly" writing today. my three year old tapped me tenderly in the eye socket and as i slowly opened my eyes...she asked me to blow up a balloon. if you have ever questioned whether you want to be a parent or not...ask yourself if you can muster up the energy at 5:17am to blow up a goddamn balloon. my first activity of the day and i had to channel my inner bozo. i mean, don't let me sway you one way or the other, but then my 5 year old came downstairs wearing only underpants and asked me if she could have halloween candy for breakfast. (no.) that being said...they are both snuggled up to me now on the couch watching cartoons and my coffee is nearby. they are being awfully quiet even though the laptop is open, because somehow they know i'm not writing anything for grad school...kids know things they shouldn't know. case in point, every single day this week i had to shake them awake to get up for school...but here were are at saturday and carrie came over even earlier and inserted her finger in my eye socket. (how do they KNOW!?) now that i am officially finished my masters program, my husband has announced that he is thinking about going back to school for...his doctorate. (DR. BUTCH.) i'll give you a few days for you to wrap your head around that. until next time, bozo the balloon making clown...over and out.
Wednesday, October 7, 2015
fable
so here we are and the school year is in full swing. the beginning of the academic year is equivalent to a brain aneurysm to some extent, mainly because it's just really busy. however, once you get your rules, procedures, and routines down you are ready to roll. let me start by saying one of my main goals in the first month is to create a culture of learning and climate of kindness in my classroom. it's not always an easy task, but it can be done. i want children to know that my classroom is a safe place where they can learn, grow, and interact with me...and with one another. i want them to have fun and be friends. i believe the best kind of learning happens in this type of environment. don't get me wrong, it's not always unicorns and rainbows and there are arguments and altercations occasionally, but for the most part...my classroom is a warm, inviting place to be. that all being said, yesterday at snack time, one little guy in my classroom walked up to another little girl and called her the "f" word. he called her "fat." (oof.) it was unprovoked, out of the blue, and totally uncalled for. the little girl that the remark was directed to is, in fact, a plumper gal, wears glasses, and is a bit quirky. she excels at art and loves to act. she's an old soul in a lot of ways, has a wicked sense of humor (she's one of my favorites, naturally) and when this was said, she looked directly at me and her sad eyes said, "help." my heart sunk.
in these moments, it takes everything in my being not to wig out. i wanted to be an advocate for this sweet natured, kind-hearted, little girl, but i also had to keep the other child's best interest at heart. i know, for instance, that he has an absent father and lots of older brothers and sisters. he is also a child that has anger issues and sometimes when he makes a mistake and i correct him, he hits himself in the head over and over. so i gently called him back to my desk and asked him why he would say something unkind to this little girl to intentionally hurt her feelings. he shrugged his shoulders. i went on to ask him if he would say something like that to me (his teacher) to intentionally hurt my feelings. he said no (and looked mortified.) i explained that we all treat each other with respect in our classroom community. i respect him just as much as he should respect me. also, that there is mutual respect between all students. he nodded his head. many times, i think people don't respect children and then they don't get the respect from them that they deserve. i respect these little people for who they are and i respect them for who they will be someday. in return, they most always give me their respect (and that is so important.) realizing what he had said hurt this little girl, he walked up and apologized. he then sat down and everyone was just thoughtfully munching on their snack. the little girl heard some of the conversation i had with him and she just looked at me and smiled afterward. her eyes said thank you. (that's all i needed.)
so fast forward to today, we read the story 'the tortoise and the hare.' if you don't know this one, you've been living under a rock the past 234 years. cliff notes version, the tortoise is quiet and kind and the hare is flashy and rude. the hare challenges the tortoise to a race and expects to win. however, he gets distracted along the way, mainly because he is arrogant and thinks he will most definitely win. however, in the end, the tortoise wins due to his perseverance. sometimes when we read a story, we also act it out. it's a great way for students to recall and retell information (in a fun way). as i was sitting there, i thought about the incident from the day before...and then chose the little girl to be the tortoise and the little boy to be the hare. my selection was intentional and deliberate, but they (nor the rest of the class) didn't know that. they got up to the "starting line" and there were two kids on the other side of the room with a piece of yarn i whipped out of my desk as the finish line. i showed them the "race course" around the room and we all yelled, "ready, set, go!!" to start it off. the little girl slowly went off the line and plodded along. the little boy took off like he was run by a set of double D batteries. as part of the act he got "distracted" by sam the squirrel (another little boy with the energy of a legit squirrel) and let the tortoise pass him. before he knew it, she was crossing the finish line. every single child in my classroom was cheering mercilessly for this little girl as she went through the yarn finish line! the joy in her face was worth every minute it took to act out that story. however, it was when the little boy walked up and put his arm around her and said, "good job!" at the end, is what really got me. i don't know if he was acting the part or came out of character for that one, but it was awesome.
this all being said, this was a teachable moment that came to me off the cuff. i remembered an incident, intentionally picked the actors, and made a meaningful lesson for everyone (including myself.) parents need to remember that these little moments happen a hundred times a day and tell a whole lot more than that little worksheet your kid is bringing home. most teachers have your children's interest at best heart and work to help them become better human beings. most of all, we all make mistakes (i make a lot). this kid made a mistake by being mean spirited to someone that did not deserve it (it made my heart hurt), but in the end he learned from it with the help and guidance of someone who respected and cared for him. furthermore, i know that this little girl will probably go on to do big things. she might be teased throughout school, but hopefully she has teachers who will be her advocate along the way. eventually, she will be the last one laughing when she's riding around hollywood in her fancy car and paying no mind to the naysayers. (you go girl). the moral of the story the tortoise and the hare is "slow and steady wins the race." after we acted it out, we talked about how when we are faced with something really hard to do, if we stick to it...we will get the job done eventually. had my father written this fable, the moral would be, "suck it up." (i hear his voice in my head often.) the kids called out things that were difficult for them, but with persistence they did it. the monkey bars, reading a book, and learning to ride a bike were at the top of the list. i am fortunate to spend my days with kids who sometimes teach me far more than i teach them. however, if they come of out kindergarten simply remembering that kindness always wins...everyone's a winner. including me.
in these moments, it takes everything in my being not to wig out. i wanted to be an advocate for this sweet natured, kind-hearted, little girl, but i also had to keep the other child's best interest at heart. i know, for instance, that he has an absent father and lots of older brothers and sisters. he is also a child that has anger issues and sometimes when he makes a mistake and i correct him, he hits himself in the head over and over. so i gently called him back to my desk and asked him why he would say something unkind to this little girl to intentionally hurt her feelings. he shrugged his shoulders. i went on to ask him if he would say something like that to me (his teacher) to intentionally hurt my feelings. he said no (and looked mortified.) i explained that we all treat each other with respect in our classroom community. i respect him just as much as he should respect me. also, that there is mutual respect between all students. he nodded his head. many times, i think people don't respect children and then they don't get the respect from them that they deserve. i respect these little people for who they are and i respect them for who they will be someday. in return, they most always give me their respect (and that is so important.) realizing what he had said hurt this little girl, he walked up and apologized. he then sat down and everyone was just thoughtfully munching on their snack. the little girl heard some of the conversation i had with him and she just looked at me and smiled afterward. her eyes said thank you. (that's all i needed.)
so fast forward to today, we read the story 'the tortoise and the hare.' if you don't know this one, you've been living under a rock the past 234 years. cliff notes version, the tortoise is quiet and kind and the hare is flashy and rude. the hare challenges the tortoise to a race and expects to win. however, he gets distracted along the way, mainly because he is arrogant and thinks he will most definitely win. however, in the end, the tortoise wins due to his perseverance. sometimes when we read a story, we also act it out. it's a great way for students to recall and retell information (in a fun way). as i was sitting there, i thought about the incident from the day before...and then chose the little girl to be the tortoise and the little boy to be the hare. my selection was intentional and deliberate, but they (nor the rest of the class) didn't know that. they got up to the "starting line" and there were two kids on the other side of the room with a piece of yarn i whipped out of my desk as the finish line. i showed them the "race course" around the room and we all yelled, "ready, set, go!!" to start it off. the little girl slowly went off the line and plodded along. the little boy took off like he was run by a set of double D batteries. as part of the act he got "distracted" by sam the squirrel (another little boy with the energy of a legit squirrel) and let the tortoise pass him. before he knew it, she was crossing the finish line. every single child in my classroom was cheering mercilessly for this little girl as she went through the yarn finish line! the joy in her face was worth every minute it took to act out that story. however, it was when the little boy walked up and put his arm around her and said, "good job!" at the end, is what really got me. i don't know if he was acting the part or came out of character for that one, but it was awesome.
this all being said, this was a teachable moment that came to me off the cuff. i remembered an incident, intentionally picked the actors, and made a meaningful lesson for everyone (including myself.) parents need to remember that these little moments happen a hundred times a day and tell a whole lot more than that little worksheet your kid is bringing home. most teachers have your children's interest at best heart and work to help them become better human beings. most of all, we all make mistakes (i make a lot). this kid made a mistake by being mean spirited to someone that did not deserve it (it made my heart hurt), but in the end he learned from it with the help and guidance of someone who respected and cared for him. furthermore, i know that this little girl will probably go on to do big things. she might be teased throughout school, but hopefully she has teachers who will be her advocate along the way. eventually, she will be the last one laughing when she's riding around hollywood in her fancy car and paying no mind to the naysayers. (you go girl). the moral of the story the tortoise and the hare is "slow and steady wins the race." after we acted it out, we talked about how when we are faced with something really hard to do, if we stick to it...we will get the job done eventually. had my father written this fable, the moral would be, "suck it up." (i hear his voice in my head often.) the kids called out things that were difficult for them, but with persistence they did it. the monkey bars, reading a book, and learning to ride a bike were at the top of the list. i am fortunate to spend my days with kids who sometimes teach me far more than i teach them. however, if they come of out kindergarten simply remembering that kindness always wins...everyone's a winner. including me.
Friday, October 2, 2015
traps
so anyway, as i was dealing with all that, my husband went on the facebook and posted the this pic:
i didn't receive a text back from my husband, as he knew he hit a chord with me. in that day, i was super exhausted cause carrie was up the whole night before with an awful cough. i had to call off work to take her to the doctor, in the meantime getting ella up, dressed, and fed for school. he had to work late that night, so after administering medicine and caring for her all day (she also refused to nap, too!), i then had to pick up ella, make dinner, do homework, give baths, and do bedtime solo. so would i rather be sitting in my car sipping a starbucks, listening to music, while waiting for an open house at my school to begin? why yes, warren, yes i would. truth be told, if the tides were turned and he was at home dealing with sickness, booby traps, and fights over a fake horse...he'd be losing his mind. i'd be getting texts about how crazy they are and asking me why we ever reproduced in the first place. had he stepped on that treat at the top of the steps instead of me i would have come home to trash bags on the front porch filled with toys, including the contents of the lego landmine. furthermore, that pony would have been put out in the middle of the street to be hit by oncoming traffic. okay, so maybe i'm being a little extreme...but he wouldn't have dealt with it the same way i did. (men are so different).
so after a full week of my kids tag teaming sickness, i'm kinda spent. when my kids are sick, it makes me thankful that they are usually well most of the year. anyone that has to deal (or has dealt with) sick kids knows that it is far from a cup of tea. actually, it's more like a cup of whiskey. (it's hard. really hard.) hopefully this isn't the precursor to a horrible winter of illnesses, cause that would suck. as my husband sauntered in the door later that night sans starbucks, i told him that i was thinking about getting rid of a lot of the baby stuff we have around the house (feeding seats, bathtubs, boppys..baby stuff). he eyeballed me and said, "i think that's a very good idea." he didn't ask how the kids were that day/evening , cause he already knew about the fake horse (amongst other things) and didn't want me to get wound up about it again. i sat there sipping my cabernet sauvignon quietly on the couch, praying for no late night wake up calls from either offspring due to sickness. shortly after, the wine made me warm, so i went upstairs to get a short sleeve shirt. upon whipping open my closet door, an unfamiliar object was staring at me with beady eyes. (what the hell!?!?) i screamed...loudly. and then realized it was the damn horse. i was startled by the pony i had put in there...a subsequent booby trap caused by my own hand (damnit.) if i would've woken up my kids up in that moment, that horse would've been out on the street faster than you can say seabiscuit. shortly after you would've found me alone in my car sipping starbucks, holding a one way ticket to batshit crazyville. anyways, stay tuned...there's always next week.
Wednesday, September 16, 2015
winning
so i haven't been able to write lately, cause i am in the home stretch of my masters degree. (holy hell.) i had thought i was in a 16 month program up until a few weeks ago, and then got an email from a professor entitled, "welcome to your last course!" (wtf?) i was so confused, but realized that i had signed up for the accelerated program instead of the regular program and that's why i was losing my mind the whole time. who doesn't know how long their masters is going to take them? i'll tell you who...a crazy mother of two. anyways, i'm done in less than five weeks and can't wait, it has NOT been easy by any means this past year and i'm looking forward to some "free" time again. also, in the way of life...no one told me that as soon as i was done earning my doctorate in dirty diapers that i would swiftly move on to earning my masters in making lunches. mannnnnn i hate making lunches! it sounds like a simple chore, but what a pain in the dick it is! (truly.) i will say that now that both kids are successfully potty trained, i don't miss the dirty diaper part of parenthood. people told me i would miss that part...the poop part, and it just hasn't happened yet. in the past month, along with pooping independence, my second born has graduated from crib to big girl bed, from booster seat to a regular chair at dinner, and made her changing table obsolete. this sudden burst of independence...has made me inwardly sad. with ella, everything happened much slower. also, when she grew out of those phases i always knew that there would be another kid still being needy. carrie started preschool and took it upon herself to grow the hell up in one month. (i hate it.) no worries, she still does fun stuff like poop with a pirate patch on.
now that i'm back to work, things are happening at warp speed. the weeks are flying by and i'm not certain how to make it all slow down! it does feel good to be a productive member of society again, though. my kids at school are making my job excellent, as they are the best group i have had in 10 years. i know that i just jinxed myself but saying that, but i wanted to put it out there. it's refreshing when you can actually teach and not have to worry about behavior problems. one little guy on the first day looked at me very seriously and said, "i know we haven't known each other that long...but you are best friend." these are the little moments that stick with me always and make me love what i do. on ella's first day of kindergarten, i couldn't get out of work in the morning, so butch took her. i said that i would pick her up. so i wrote a little note in her folder and everything, letting the teacher know. well, the time came for me to leave early from school, my coworkers had my kindergarteners under control and one little boy looked up at me and said (grabbing himself), "i have to go to the bathhhhroooommm." so, i took him to the restroom and then ran (late) out the door. i hit major traffic, but when i got there 3 minutes late...i couldn't find ella. i went running past the office like a hooligan and the secretary ran out and said, "MA'AM! you need a PASS!" i mentally wigged out a little and went into the office. guess who was in there holding another secretaries hand? ella. i didn't even notice her as i was explaining to the other secretary frantically that i was 3 minutes late and couldn't find her. then i heard, "MOMMY?!" and whipped around to see her smiling at me. so that was the end of her first day. kindergarten teacher mom problems.
this next weekend we are heading up into the mountains of northern pennsylvania for one of my most favorite trips...to a place called chet's for "frontier days." seriously guys, it trumps childbirth in the life events category. i can't explain it fully other than there is a lot of flannel, a lot of american flags, and a lot of fun. plus, it's spent with a group of old friends and what is better than that? my parents have graciously decided to take care of laverne and shirley for the weekend, so we are kid free. when discussing this with ella she said, "why can't i go into the woods with you!?" i told her it's adults only. she said, "why cuz we will get lost and stuff?!" (yeah, let's go with that.) we don't have overnight sitters often, so when we do...we get wound up. last year, butch lost his cell phone riding a mechanical bull and i had an adverse reaction to copious amounts of alcohol and broke out in hives. (let's get wild.) so in conclusion, the past coupla months have been spent finishing up schooling, starting a new school year, new found independence for both kids, and me becoming a professional lunch maker. warren is still working out feverishly and whipping up potions like walter white in our pantry. (creatine and crap.) oh, and he's back on his coupon campaign as well. (yay.) i look forward to fall and all things that amazing season has to offer. i walked outside yesterday morning and the weather told me that boilo season is just around the bend. (better get the ball jars ready!) so basically with october beckoning...i will have my masters in reading and literacy under my belt, my doctorate in dirty diapers, and will also be currently working on my masters in making lunches. not to mention an associates in adult beverages hopefully earned this weekend. in the words of charlie sheen...i'm pretty sure i'm winning. i'll raise my pumpkin beer to that.
now that i'm back to work, things are happening at warp speed. the weeks are flying by and i'm not certain how to make it all slow down! it does feel good to be a productive member of society again, though. my kids at school are making my job excellent, as they are the best group i have had in 10 years. i know that i just jinxed myself but saying that, but i wanted to put it out there. it's refreshing when you can actually teach and not have to worry about behavior problems. one little guy on the first day looked at me very seriously and said, "i know we haven't known each other that long...but you are best friend." these are the little moments that stick with me always and make me love what i do. on ella's first day of kindergarten, i couldn't get out of work in the morning, so butch took her. i said that i would pick her up. so i wrote a little note in her folder and everything, letting the teacher know. well, the time came for me to leave early from school, my coworkers had my kindergarteners under control and one little boy looked up at me and said (grabbing himself), "i have to go to the bathhhhroooommm." so, i took him to the restroom and then ran (late) out the door. i hit major traffic, but when i got there 3 minutes late...i couldn't find ella. i went running past the office like a hooligan and the secretary ran out and said, "MA'AM! you need a PASS!" i mentally wigged out a little and went into the office. guess who was in there holding another secretaries hand? ella. i didn't even notice her as i was explaining to the other secretary frantically that i was 3 minutes late and couldn't find her. then i heard, "MOMMY?!" and whipped around to see her smiling at me. so that was the end of her first day. kindergarten teacher mom problems.
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| first day of school. |
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