coffee

so this morning was different than other mornings, because i had a training for work and didn't have to report to my normal school building. typically i roll over and scratch my ass at 5:30am when the alarm goes off, peel myself out of bed and stumble to the bathroom at approximately 5:45am, get myself ready and then wake my children (who act like they are teenagers, not under 10), make breakfast, and have to deliver them to daycare by 7am (which is when it opens). i fly out of the parking lot like my hair is on fire so i can make it to work by 7:30am, which is about 17 miles away. however, on this fine friday morning i didn't have to be to a training until 8:30am, which buys me some more time. so i delivered my smiling offspring to their destination and decided that 'it's friday' and i deserve a coffee from dunkin' donuts, since i never have time on a typical morning to do so. i pull into the parking lot with rainbows and unicorns coming out of my ass and i'm feeling quite chipper. sidebar (and an important part of the story): sometimes when i get the luxury of going to for gourmet (hush) coffee...i buy the person behind me their goods, as kind of a pay it forward thing. i don't do it all the time, but sometimes. remember today was a day of rainbow and unicorn rectum, so i decided to do it this morning.

my offspring and their best friday faces.

i squawked hello and good morning to the kind lady on the other side of the speaker and ordered my two dollar and eleven cent (fancy) coffee. i saw the woman behind me order in my rear view mirror and it was a quick talk to the kind lady, so i thought..."well, she didn't order a lot of stuff then..." although i like to pay it forward, i don't want to break the bank while doing so (sue me). so when i pulled up to the window and because i was playing detective and thought i saw her not ordering a whole lot of shit...i didn't even ask what she got (i usually do). i'm face to face with kind speaker lady and she says, "that will be $2.11!" i said (smiling), "can i also pay for the person behind me?" she yelped, "sure!" i handed over my credit card and she swiped and handed it back. i said, "just tell the woman, happy friday!" she (basically) screamed, "OKAY I WILL!!!" (lots of exclamation points). i grabbed my receipt and pulled forward, ready to take the world by the balls. as i pulled out onto the main road, i casually glanced down at my receipt. in that moment i had just taken a huge gulp of too hot coffee and as my foot hit the gas, my eyes got wide and my fancy coffee almost flew out of my mouth and all over the windshield. this is what i saw:

now listen. in that moment i didn't know whether to laugh or cry. yes, it was my own fault for not asking what the woman behind me ordered. however, what if i had asked!? then what? "i'd like to pay for the person behind me...what did she order?" kind cashier says, "2 boxes of joe at 15 bucks a pop." if i said, "meh, nevermind..." then do i look a cheap do gooder? ie/ "i want to pay it forward, but on my terms." no thanks. so in retrospect, i'm glad i didn't ask. however, if you could've seen my face when i first saw that receipt i assure you it would've been priceless. here i am expecting to pay like 2 bucks for my coffee and no more than 10 bucks total including the person behind me (not more than i've ever spent at DD in one visit!). when i realized my snafu, i immediately did what i normally do when shit like this happens...i called fen (my bff) to confer. when she answered in the early morning hours, i half yelled half laughed, "you are never gonna believe what just happened to ME!!" i went on with my story and she couldn't hold her shit together (laughing her head off). her husband was in the background yelling, "nice guys finish last!!!" (eeshh.) before we hung up she said that she thinks i'm good on the pay it forward thing for, like, a year.

so as i took my drive to my training i was thinking about that woman behind me and what she thought when the kind cashier said, "your tab was paid for by the lady in front of you! she said happy friday!" first of all, did she think i was hitting on her or did she realize i was just paying it forward? did she know that i didn't ask what she got and as i pulled out onto route 2, almost shit my pants and shot coffee all over the windshield? was she buying these boxes of joe for her coworkers as a pay it forward friday gesture herself? i had so many questions. however, to make my $33.98 COFFEE purchase okay in my head...i realized that although i probably made this woman happy, i must've made a whole lotta other people happy as well. because hell, that's a WHOLE LOTTA COFFEE. i guess the moral of the story is this...i didn't intend to share with anyone that paid it forward this morning. i meant to pull out of the parking lot, grab life by the balls, and just be happy. however, my gesture turned into something far more than a feel good...it was funny as hell. i laughed my head of with fen before the caffeine in my own coffee even had a chance to kick into my system. moreover, life has shown me over and over again that kindness matters (and so does laughter). doesn't matter if it's free coffee or a simple compliment. as an added bonus? my training let out early and my principal gave me the rest of the day off because i already had a substitute...also allowing me time to share this story with you. i'll chalk that up to coffee karma. happy friday, people...hope you all have a fabulous rainbow and unicorn filled weekend.